wiltwillow

I have been wanting to post about this for a few days but literally have not been able to function. All I have managed to do is take care of my daughter. I learned Monday that my ex addict and alcoholic boyfriend was seeing someone. If that wasn't enough, I also learned he had met her one week prior, was kicked out of the rehab, and is now LIVING with her. A girl he met ONLINE ONE Week ago. I am so hurt that I can't eat. I feel like throwing up and just cry all day. For two years we were so happy with our little family and then for a year I fought so hard to help him get well. Now I blame myself for getting so angry at him for always being happy and having fun in rehab. If I had just let him be maybe this wouldn't happen. How could it be possible that the person who told me he loved me more than anything in this world, wrote a card to me on christmas about how much he wanted to make things better, is living with someone else. She doesn't use, I know this for a fact, so I also wonder how she could allow basically a stranger to move in with her?! I feel like this pain will never go away. I don't even feel welcome at al anon anymore because it is for loved ones of addicts, and he clearly doesn't love me anymore. So why should I embarrass myself even more? This is just a total blur I can't even get the rite words out. Help.

CodeJob

Hey willow,

I'm sorry you are distraught.
it's hard to make sense of an addicts behavior. primarily because it doesn't make sense.

Focus on you and your child.

And yes you belong at Al Anon! This man is the father of your child, right? Al Anon will help this parenting relationship.

maia1234

Ww, I am so sorry. He is a lost pup and has no where to go.

Be grateful the crazyness is not back in your home. He is an addict and until he gets his life together it will be hell for him. He is using this girl and she is going to save him. Let her try.

I know its hard but you are on the right path. Take care of you and your daughter, as she doesn't deserve his crxp in her life. She deserves better and so do u!!!!!

Jane11

Wiltwollow, I'm so sorry you are hurting.

Sending you strength x

NYCDoglvr

Active alcoholics have the emotional maturity of a teenager. Think 15. And they see other people as enablers; he moved quickly from one to another and this is very common. We think this is the great love of our lives when what we're dealing with is alcoholism. My heart goes out to you, I've been there and know how much it hurts.

Pia

wiltwillow- i KNOW this hurts and I am very sorry you are hurting. But this is what happens over and over again all over the world. Focus on what you can do to make YOU happy have you read any books on co dependence?

LexieCat

You don't have to still be in a relationship with the alcoholic to be a welcome, perfectly acceptable member of Al-Anon. It isn't for "loved ones of alcoholics." It's for people affected by alcoholism of a family member or friend. That could be current or former--lots of people are in Al-Anon due to the alcoholism of a family member or friend who is no longer living. Many people are divorced, separated, or otherwise no longer in contact with the alcoholic.

So, since you are obviously still affected by this relationship with an alcoholic, even though the relationship is technically "over" you can still go to meetings and benefit from the program.

Slothy

Wiltwillow, I am so sorry for your sadness!. Please know that many of us have walked in your same shoes and are still walking in them!!.

He does not deserve you!!!...let her have him!!!. You are free from many future hurts!

Please know I am praying for some peace and serenity for you. It will come in time!