shelton40

So my AH and I seperated....finally. He has been an AH and pot smoker. I was not attracted to him at all when I met him...but after talking to him for a while he seemed like a nice misunderstood man. Blah Blah Blah...Fast forward to now...He is a mean man. Every time he talks to my children it with accusation in his tone...guilty before innocent. He informs me that everytime he looks at me he is disgusted because I have ruined his life, abused his friends, ruined his relationship with his famiky and ruined him financially. Tells me and my children we are room mates and room mates pay or get the f@$# out. He will have me removed from the house. Thats all in one night. Then ignore each other. A couple of days and then he threatens me with divorce. I say ok. Do what you have to. Then he says I cant believe you want to seperate from me...you must want to be alone and miserable tge rest of your life. Next day I sign a lease. He says you have to figure out a way to get out of it and stay. Of course lots of crying. The whole time he has his phone on silent. Helps me move. Then I go to the house there are two towels hung in my bathroom....and he started drinking again. I was devestated. Why do I try so hard for people who dont care? I know seperating was the best thing...just hurting.

freetosmile

Oh Shelton-

You and your children deserve soooo much more than that!

When the clouds finally were wiped from my eyes, I realized how much my kids were soaking in EVERYTHING my AH said to and my reaction to it. The whole nine yards. It was real eye opener for me.

This man sounds a lot like my AH. Very verbally abusive. The kids don't like talking to him all that much, except when he's drunk, because he says yes to everything!

You are a good mom and you are realizing what an impact this abuse is having on your children. Not to mention YOU!

I didn't want to admit it for so long Shelton, but I finally did admit to myself that I WAS being abused. And what you are describing sounds an awful lot like what I had too.

Now, is where the REAL work begins. And they all keep telling me that it will get better. And I believe them. What other choice do we have?

WE DESERVE BETTER!!! OUR KIDS DESERVE BETTER!! Don't forget that. You didn't cause this, you can't control this, and you can't change it. You can only work on making a brand new, FANTASTIC, and peaceful new life for you and your kiddos.

I wish I could think of something more soothing to say to you right now, but I can't. Being abused is....well indescribable. Please please keep coming back here. It was the BEST thing I have done. I also have done counseling AND alanon. It has been a God sent. Please come back. I will be looking for you!

very very very tight hugs girlie. I DO understand what it is liked to be talked to like that. I know it very well. It literally takes your breath away. If you were in front of me, I would squeeze you tight, because I know you need it. You didn't do this. HE did this.

You are going to FLOURISH without this in your life, and your children will too. You are such a good mom.

shelton40

Thank you! Just needed to get it out.

Eauchiche

Dear Shelton
Just think about how far you have already come! You got out!!!
Maybe going "no contact" with him would be good now. If you can, you will feel SO much better in very little time.
Keep coming back here for support.

shelton40

Already blocked him...no contacts since the day i left. Thanks for all your support.