rocky123

So librium worked wonders yesturday and even slept, woke up feeling pretty well about how well its going although i know the 30-72 hrs gets rough and i had told my mom about doing this again and how i hadnt wanted to tell her because of promising so many times before and not doing it but now doing it on my own getting help and it seemed like today was going to be bright instead she told me i was a failure, she said what are you going to do in future when you do this again (which hurts that she already has no hope that ill stay sober), i told her that this was why i was afraid of telling her in the first place and shes like well yeah last time you said you wouldnt do it again and look at you now, then she rambled on about all the things i need to do to not do this again (which is way to much stress when im trying to relax and focus on detoxing not think about everything else i need to get done), so ive basically been sitting her crying my eyes out feeling like a big fat failure whos never going anywhere in life and all the things she said hurt me deeply as they are the things i felt about myself as to why i drank and now am quitting but i feel so defeated and ashamed and sad and wish i hadnt had said anything to her as she thinks ill just always **** up when i havent even started yet so much for support. Atleast im on day two and the librium is working wonders, no shakes, just anxiety and now devastation. She doesnt understand that the last thing someone needs is a guilt trip, then smash them with all they need to get done when there just trying to start healing and need time. Anyways i have hid away in a room with a laptop and decided to try and cheer up and stop crying and feeling like all the things she told me.

Findingtheway

My mother has done the exact same thing during my last 2 setbacks...The guilt...The sadness...The *i need to protect myself from you now.*

But after getting sober time back...and having my life and everything improve my relationship with my mom improved again....And she was proud of my achievements.

Actions speak louder than words i guess...My family can see now that i AM trying. Not always succeeding but i AM trying whatever i need to do.

Don't give up. I think we just scare those who love us the most to the EXTREME and they lash back with anger/fury of there own.

AA has taught me that it's not UN-justified on their part. I have a major role in WHY they are unhappy.

We don't HAVE to continue living this way.

Soberwolf

Rocky

The most important thing is you know your sober well done on day 2

Definatly stick close to SR lean on us whenever you need were 110% behind you & your recovery

The more time you stay sober the more theyl notice it no one believed me or had faith

i turned it around rocky & so can you

hugs

rocky123

I agree it is my fault and i know i did this to myself and i take full responsibility as to why i decided to do the detox it was just hard because i felt like it was going to be a pretty good day and she just made me cry and hide away and have awful feelings towards me and made me feel as bad as i feel i am inside which has most likely ruined my day as she will not speak to me and as much as i understand she has a right to be mad... its not okay to doubt me and call me names and make me sob when i told her i already know what kind of person i look like to you i already feel like that inside and im trying to stop that negativity for me so i can do this otherwise if i sit around thinking im a failure then where am i going to get myself...nowhere. doesnt help when your detoxing and your anxiety is already high and your emotions are all over the place. but atleast im still going to do it and just hope in the future she might have some hope for my life instead of thinking im never going anywhere and ill do this again

rocky123

I hope she does come around the worst part was the last time i was legit sober for 6 months my mom thought i was drinking and it sucked, im afraid this time shell be the same constently accusing me when im actually sober like last time.

Nofearnobeer

Hang in there Rocky! Parents can use harsh words sometimes , even in the name of love...Take a deep breathe and Carry on...Keep your head up...We are proud of you for sticking with it..

omenapt

you might steer her to Friends and Family posts on here

Soberwolf

Rocky hang in there you have us to lean on im sorry your mum questioned you at 6 months

my gf was the same around 6 months and the only way i could prove it was by staying sober

if it is causing you this much stress try to explain that you understand her fears but you want sobriety

Show her this thread or keep interacting and show her lots of threads over time involve her in your sobriety ask her would she be willing to go al anon or an open aa meeting ?

The most important thing is knowing yourself your sober and that you have a ton of support in us

Soberwolf

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Dee74

Hi Rocky

I had a lot of ppl who were pretty short with me too - I was upset at the time, but now I can see what I'd put them through. I'd made promises time and again and broken them.

It's true you're really trying now tho, and it's true you need support - but you'll find a lot of that support and encouragement here and in other places .

Give your mom time - like someone else said above actions speak way louder than words

If she's laying a guilt trip on you, then give yourself and her some space for a while maybe?

D

rocky123

yeah i understand lucky i have this site because she was the only support i have in my life and now that isnt happening so its just me and the internet. as i literally have no close friends or a boyfriend so its just going to be more supporting myself which is ok im used to going it alone i just thought maybe she could help me not feel so anxious and be here for me but instead shes going out with her friends to tell them how much of a **** child i am which is lovely to know . while i sit at home alone and cry.

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Rocky!! You're making it happen no matter what anyone says!!