freetosmile

I was reading another thread and saw this phrase and have also heard it in alanon and a couple other times on SR.

Can someone tell me what it is?

Coldfusion

A person who is a codie and an addict.

freetosmile

Who makes that determination that they are a double winner? The addict?

I guess my question is do family members "diagnose" their A with codependency or how does the addict find out they are codependent? Do they learn that in AA?

SparkleKitty

Anyone can call anyone whatever they like, but I would only refer to someone as a "double winner" if they referred to themself that way.

Justincredible

I wanted to go to a Codependency recovery meeting but I couldn't find anyone to go with. Does that make me a codependent? Sounds like a joke but I really wonder sometimes.
I don't know exactly what a double winner is but I have been hearing it lately.

FireSprite

Me too. I have interpreted from those posting here as DW that they often find themselves in recovery as a Codependent/Family Member after reaching out for sobriety/recovery from addiction themselves. That the process of recovery from alcohol shows them how they are also affected by family member's addictions & not just their own.

honeypig

I guess I understood it to mean someone who was an alcoholic/other addict themselves as well as being family/friend of an alcoholic/other addict...?

Lovenjoy

hi FTS. i am a double winner, actually a triple winner - recovering alcoholic, recovering codie and recovering adult child of an alcoholic. yeah, my life's been a circus!!!

the only person who can decide they are alcoholic and/or codie really is the individual themselves, imho. how i learned i was alcoholic was the hard way, getting sick. how i learned i was codependent was i got sick, found SR and identified with the discussions on codependency.

to me the important part of the term is WINNER! meaning i have addressed my problems and work recovery. as a double winner i have experienced the disease of addiction from both sides - addict and having a loved one whose addicted - and have chosen to recover from the affects of dealing with these issues.

so now i am happy, joyous and free!

NYCDoglvr

We judge ourselves to be addicts and codependents. In my 10th year of sobriety I had the worst relationship of my life with another recovering alcoholic (with no program). Obsessed with someone who only brought misery to my life. My AA sponsor, who had gone to Alanon, suggested meetings and I went. Took me five seconds to see my problem was codependency. It's certainly not uncommon for recovering alcoholics to substitute alcohol for another person. Or food, spending money, gambling, etc.

Self-diagnosis is critical to recovery. The first Step: I am powerless over (alcohol, another person, food, etc.) and my life has become unmanageable. Without this insight recovery isn't possible no matter what anyone else says.

AnvilheadII

I guess my question is do family members "diagnose" their A with codependency or how does the addict find out they are codependent? Do they learn that in AA?

addicts find out just like everybody else....for me it was in the early days of my decision to quit crack, and my other half not being on that page and still wanting to use. i kinda went out of my mind trying to MAKE HIM STOP. i became consumed with it! then as i rolled the tape back farther and farther i realized my decision to ever smoke WITH him in the first place was about as codie a move as it gets.....we'll do it TOGETHER, then you won't be out there doing god knows what with god knows whom and i can help CONTROL this.

AA is not where one would "learn" about codependency, unless it naturally developed from working the steps.

LexieCat

A double winner is someone recovered/recovering from both addiction and from the effects of someone else's addiction. If you aren't recovered/recovering you aren't a winner--you're just an addict/alcoholic and someone affected by someone else's drinking.

LeeJane

I call myself a 'double winner' as I am a recovering A (4 years sober) and I live with an active A husband.

I understand it as a friendly, warm, positive description of ourselves.

anattaboy

Yup, I'm one....When does the exhilaration come?

anattaboy

DP, so I'll make use of it. I've been coming to this side more and more and Identifying. I won't throw my SO's name around but will find a way to talk about me a bit eventually. Things are not Zen but we are both sober. That's starting to reveal things. Things we'd both rather not look at right now. Thanks for the post.