As an addict do you become addicted to people?
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,058
As an addict do you become addicted to people?
I was wondering if others suffer from this.
Many years ago when my husband left me for another woman I truly thought I would die, the withdrawal was horrendous, I couldn't function at all and the only person that could of made it better was him, of course he didn't and slowly slowly I recovered.
Moving on 12 years I eventually met someone else, it wasn't perfect but we had good times over a 3 year period then Christmas 2011 he had a fatel accident and what I suffered was not normal grief but again a complete inability to function and severe withdrawal symptoms.
Now, been with some just over a year but over Christmas I didn't see him for weeks as the pub held more appeal to him, so in temper I ended it just before New year and once again I am feeling an urgent need for him in an unnatural way, it comes in waves just like the AV voice even though I wasn't reliant on him for anything other than company.
I think it might stem from my Mother dying when I five years old and nobody ever explaining to me where she had gone.
Many years ago when my husband left me for another woman I truly thought I would die, the withdrawal was horrendous, I couldn't function at all and the only person that could of made it better was him, of course he didn't and slowly slowly I recovered.
Moving on 12 years I eventually met someone else, it wasn't perfect but we had good times over a 3 year period then Christmas 2011 he had a fatel accident and what I suffered was not normal grief but again a complete inability to function and severe withdrawal symptoms.
Now, been with some just over a year but over Christmas I didn't see him for weeks as the pub held more appeal to him, so in temper I ended it just before New year and once again I am feeling an urgent need for him in an unnatural way, it comes in waves just like the AV voice even though I wasn't reliant on him for anything other than company.
I think it might stem from my Mother dying when I five years old and nobody ever explaining to me where she had gone.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Originally Posted by Kaily 
I was wondering if others suffer from this.
Many years ago when my husband left me for another woman I truly thought I would die, the withdrawal was horrendous, I couldn't function at all and the only person that could of made it better was him, of course he didn't and slowly slowly I recovered.
Moving on 12 years I eventually met someone else, it wasn't perfect but we had good times over a 3 year period then Christmas 2011 he had a fatel accident and what I suffered was not normal grief but again a complete inability to function and severe withdrawal symptoms.
Now, been with some just over a year but over Christmas I didn't see him for weeks as the pub held more appeal to him, so in temper I ended it just before New year and once again I am feeling an urgent need for him in an unnatural way, it comes in waves just like the AV voice even though I wasn't reliant on him for anything other than company.
I think it might stem from my Mother dying when I five years old and nobody ever explaining to me where she had gone.
Many years ago when my husband left me for another woman I truly thought I would die, the withdrawal was horrendous, I couldn't function at all and the only person that could of made it better was him, of course he didn't and slowly slowly I recovered.
Moving on 12 years I eventually met someone else, it wasn't perfect but we had good times over a 3 year period then Christmas 2011 he had a fatel accident and what I suffered was not normal grief but again a complete inability to function and severe withdrawal symptoms.
Now, been with some just over a year but over Christmas I didn't see him for weeks as the pub held more appeal to him, so in temper I ended it just before New year and once again I am feeling an urgent need for him in an unnatural way, it comes in waves just like the AV voice even though I wasn't reliant on him for anything other than company.
I think it might stem from my Mother dying when I five years old and nobody ever explaining to me where she had gone.
*Ex Missus
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 410
Yes I can do. I can become addicted to anything I find engaging. Been trying to work on where this stems from for a long time. It could certainly be from your loss at an early age. There's a few good reads on it. The best one would probably be Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody and in regards to childhood - Running On Empty by Jonice Webb.
The key it seems is to look for a partner that is stable and not an avoidant. Although, love addicts gravitate towards the avoidants because they remind them of the love they are used to. (Neglect or abuse to some degree). They often find stable partners boring or repulsive (because deep down they don't feel worthy for genuine healthy love) but that's where self-love and inner work comes in. Making themselves stable and healing the hurt parts from their childhood.
The key it seems is to look for a partner that is stable and not an avoidant. Although, love addicts gravitate towards the avoidants because they remind them of the love they are used to. (Neglect or abuse to some degree). They often find stable partners boring or repulsive (because deep down they don't feel worthy for genuine healthy love) but that's where self-love and inner work comes in. Making themselves stable and healing the hurt parts from their childhood.
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