New and first hurdle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 22
New and first hurdle
Hi,
New here, but been reading all the posts the last few days, I have written an intro so many times and deleted it, I think it is the fear of putting it out in the public sphere. But I need so moral support so I am going to have to post at some point.
So without giving to much away here goes:
I was functional (I think that is what it is called?) I would not touch a drop until 6pm in the evenings, though on weekends that dropped to 1pm! It was my golden rule that made me "not an alcy", I never drank in the morning, I never got drunk in public, never blacked out or vomited or made an idiot of myself, so I couldn't be......
what the biggest lie I ever told myself
The second lie was I was okay cause I could stop any time. When I fell pregnant I stopped for 1 year 1/2 but then from that first drink afterwards I went back into my old habits only worse.
For some reasons on the run up to Christmas and new year I slowed down, it had lost its sparkle, even my husband kept saying wow, your nursing that glass for a long time, something had clicked over but I was still going though the motions accept much much slower.
I decided to do the cancer research dryathlon, which then made me think about it even more, if I needed a challenge to stop drinking surely there was more to this then just raising money, at the end of the first day I said to my husband I was going to stop, I set goals of things we could buy and do with the money and he agreed it was a good idea (he has never had a problem stopping) and that he would support me. (Though I could see in his eyes he was thinking here we go again, promises promises).
It was actually an eye-opener these last 4 days. I couldn't sleep, felt itchy all over, constant eating and mild headache, it hasn't been easy, and it proved to me that I was not as all right as I thought I was.
But this morning, wow this morning, day 5 sober, I woke up the first time in ages refreshed and feeling great apart from one thing, I am facing my first hurdle tonight and I am scared.
I have a family meal out tonight and know everyone is going to have a drink with dinner.
Told husband that I am going to be ordering pepsi and not to say or do anything to make it seem like that is unusual and I think if we were not in our local I would be okay, but we are going to be in our local and I am scared the waiters will say something, we tend to go weekly so they know us and know what we order and as last time I stopped drinking was when I was pregnant they might assume that I am this time and say something (The belly fat doesn't help!).
Embarrassing.
So first hurdle, and I am really worried I will cave in.....damn this, I used to love going out to the pub for a meal and now I am scared.....crazy!?
Cheers,
Matrix
New here, but been reading all the posts the last few days, I have written an intro so many times and deleted it, I think it is the fear of putting it out in the public sphere. But I need so moral support so I am going to have to post at some point.
So without giving to much away here goes:
I was functional (I think that is what it is called?) I would not touch a drop until 6pm in the evenings, though on weekends that dropped to 1pm! It was my golden rule that made me "not an alcy", I never drank in the morning, I never got drunk in public, never blacked out or vomited or made an idiot of myself, so I couldn't be......
what the biggest lie I ever told myself
The second lie was I was okay cause I could stop any time. When I fell pregnant I stopped for 1 year 1/2 but then from that first drink afterwards I went back into my old habits only worse.
For some reasons on the run up to Christmas and new year I slowed down, it had lost its sparkle, even my husband kept saying wow, your nursing that glass for a long time, something had clicked over but I was still going though the motions accept much much slower.
I decided to do the cancer research dryathlon, which then made me think about it even more, if I needed a challenge to stop drinking surely there was more to this then just raising money, at the end of the first day I said to my husband I was going to stop, I set goals of things we could buy and do with the money and he agreed it was a good idea (he has never had a problem stopping) and that he would support me. (Though I could see in his eyes he was thinking here we go again, promises promises).
It was actually an eye-opener these last 4 days. I couldn't sleep, felt itchy all over, constant eating and mild headache, it hasn't been easy, and it proved to me that I was not as all right as I thought I was.
But this morning, wow this morning, day 5 sober, I woke up the first time in ages refreshed and feeling great apart from one thing, I am facing my first hurdle tonight and I am scared.
I have a family meal out tonight and know everyone is going to have a drink with dinner.
Told husband that I am going to be ordering pepsi and not to say or do anything to make it seem like that is unusual and I think if we were not in our local I would be okay, but we are going to be in our local and I am scared the waiters will say something, we tend to go weekly so they know us and know what we order and as last time I stopped drinking was when I was pregnant they might assume that I am this time and say something (The belly fat doesn't help!).
Embarrassing.So first hurdle, and I am really worried I will cave in.....damn this, I used to love going out to the pub for a meal and now I am scared.....crazy!?
Cheers,
Matrix
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Whatisthematrix?
Morpheus: "The Matrix is a system Neo."
Love those movies! Well now, back to reality.
My advice is just don't go to the dinner. You're too new to sobriety now for that sort of situation. If you feel like there is no getting out of it, have an escape plan. Some sort of way to leave and with your own transportation. This is not going to be easy. "You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged".
All the best to you.
Morpheus: "The Matrix is a system Neo."
Love those movies! Well now, back to reality.
My advice is just don't go to the dinner. You're too new to sobriety now for that sort of situation. If you feel like there is no getting out of it, have an escape plan. Some sort of way to leave and with your own transportation. This is not going to be easy. "You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged".
All the best to you.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome Whatsthematrix well done on day 5 sober
I would refrain from social events for a while and build sober muscles instead
Tell your husband that its making you anxious and its wise to give it a miss he will see you protecting your sobriety and thats whats most important here
youl find so much support here stick close to SR
I would refrain from social events for a while and build sober muscles instead
Tell your husband that its making you anxious and its wise to give it a miss he will see you protecting your sobriety and thats whats most important here
youl find so much support here stick close to SR
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
I think everyone hit the nail on the head when they said you probably should avoid the dinner. And that's ok. I'm not saying it can't be done sober, but the uncomfortableness you'll have might just ruin the evening for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Welcome, WhatIsTheMatrix, to SR. Congratulations on four sober days.
If you are worried that you might cave at the dinner tonight, it might be wise to re-think your attendance. I could not have navigated that kind of situation so early in my sobriety.
Glad you found SR, WITM. And congratulations on participating in the cancer dryathlon.
If you are worried that you might cave at the dinner tonight, it might be wise to re-think your attendance. I could not have navigated that kind of situation so early in my sobriety.
Glad you found SR, WITM. And congratulations on participating in the cancer dryathlon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 22
Back and all went had a Pepsi and noone even blinked or said anything.
Next hurdle is not getting over confident, and remember that I feel better and that one drink always leads to more.
Thanks everyone this place is fantastic.
Next hurdle is not getting over confident, and remember that I feel better and that one drink always leads to more.
Thanks everyone this place is fantastic.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Originally Posted by WhatIsTheMatrix 
Back and all went had a Pepsi and noone even blinked or said anything.
Next hurdle is not getting over confident, and remember that I feel better and that one drink always leads to more.
Thanks everyone this place is fantastic.
Next hurdle is not getting over confident, and remember that I feel better and that one drink always leads to more.
Thanks everyone this place is fantastic.
Well done, and hi
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Matrix, You did a great job - we know how challenging it is in the early days.
We promise it won't feel this intense forever. You were right to be concerned, but you made it through unscathed - something to be proud of.
We promise it won't feel this intense forever. You were right to be concerned, but you made it through unscathed - something to be proud of.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Yeah, well done Matrix from me too luv!
You'll find soooo much support and terrific info here. And, as an aside, it's a very safe site - as you'll have noticed re the strongly enforced rules of engagement via our excellent moderators. It's pretty much a troll-free zone.
You'll find soooo much support and terrific info here. And, as an aside, it's a very safe site - as you'll have noticed re the strongly enforced rules of engagement via our excellent moderators. It's pretty much a troll-free zone.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
