On Day 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: MA
Posts: 16
On Day 2
Hi all. Well I've made it through my second day sober. I can say that now with some shaky confidence as the liquor stores in my area just closed. I know 2 days is not a lot, but is the first time in a number of years I have been able to get here. I know there is a very difficult journey still ahead.
I'm in my mid-forties and divorced. Long time drinker but watched it sharply escalate in the last few years. I always took some pride in considering myself a "functional" alcoholic (whatever exactly that is), although in recent months "functional" has had to be defined more and more loosely. After a relationship fell apart, things took a real nose dive for me. I was still able to work, and more or less hide from those around me how bad things were getting, but the walls were closing in. I was constantly hungover, dizzy and had started having unpredictable panic attacks. I was getting increasingly anxious about even leaving the house other than work (and the liquor store), all the while drinking a rapidly accelerating amount of hard liquor at night behind closed doors.
I made a conscious decision to stop drinking at the New Year ... and sailed right through it without even slowing down. This was when the fear really grabbed me. I had always thought I could just stop "when I was ready". But this was finding myself heading down a very steep hill and suddenly realizing I had no brakes at all.
Friday night, a staggeringly-drunk-me wrote a very sad letter to the next-day-me begging me to "please, please, please, please find a way to stop" and amazingly managed to pour out every last bit of alcohol in the house. Yesterday morning me got the message and … well so far so good.
Yesterday (my Day 1) was very hard. Lots of wandering around the house in high anxiety. Many moments of not being at all happy with staggeringly-drunk's decision to pour "everything" out (Couldn't I have just saved a little? A few parting toasts? I mean it IS Saturday). Luckily a winter storm made travel impractical and helped bolster my commitment to get through it.
Today was probably every bit as hard in different ways. I received very little sleep last night and feel like I'm probably looking at the same for tonight. I'm anxious about returning to work tomorrow and whether that will help or harm. (Maybe initially help but the ride home will be torture). But I'm going to do everything possible to find my feet and stay committed to this.
Thanks for this site, your words of wisdom and support. - John
I'm in my mid-forties and divorced. Long time drinker but watched it sharply escalate in the last few years. I always took some pride in considering myself a "functional" alcoholic (whatever exactly that is), although in recent months "functional" has had to be defined more and more loosely. After a relationship fell apart, things took a real nose dive for me. I was still able to work, and more or less hide from those around me how bad things were getting, but the walls were closing in. I was constantly hungover, dizzy and had started having unpredictable panic attacks. I was getting increasingly anxious about even leaving the house other than work (and the liquor store), all the while drinking a rapidly accelerating amount of hard liquor at night behind closed doors.
I made a conscious decision to stop drinking at the New Year ... and sailed right through it without even slowing down. This was when the fear really grabbed me. I had always thought I could just stop "when I was ready". But this was finding myself heading down a very steep hill and suddenly realizing I had no brakes at all.
Friday night, a staggeringly-drunk-me wrote a very sad letter to the next-day-me begging me to "please, please, please, please find a way to stop" and amazingly managed to pour out every last bit of alcohol in the house. Yesterday morning me got the message and … well so far so good.
Yesterday (my Day 1) was very hard. Lots of wandering around the house in high anxiety. Many moments of not being at all happy with staggeringly-drunk's decision to pour "everything" out (Couldn't I have just saved a little? A few parting toasts? I mean it IS Saturday). Luckily a winter storm made travel impractical and helped bolster my commitment to get through it.
Today was probably every bit as hard in different ways. I received very little sleep last night and feel like I'm probably looking at the same for tonight. I'm anxious about returning to work tomorrow and whether that will help or harm. (Maybe initially help but the ride home will be torture). But I'm going to do everything possible to find my feet and stay committed to this.
Thanks for this site, your words of wisdom and support. - John
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: MA
Posts: 16
Thanks JackDsMissus - I've kept it folded up in my wallet to remind myself. The person that wrote that letter was NOT happy and relaxed and having a nice fun evening. He was scared and desperate and feeling completely out of control.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: milwaukee, wi
Posts: 5
I am new here also. 3 days sober. I can relate to how you feel. I work full time and would come home every night and drink up to a 12 pack. I have been dealing with anxiety and insomnia for the last 6 months.
We can do this..
We can do this..
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