The little things mean the very most.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
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The little things mean the very most.
Coming up on six months for me. But that's not why I'm here- I am here to provide a little reality check for myself. The past month and a half or so has been crazy busy. Now, busy can be a good thing, in that there is little time for errant behavior if everything is to be done, but it can also be bad in that there is little time to reflect on past behaviors and make a plan for future ones. While I have not fallen off the path of becoming a truly sober person, all I have really done in the past few weeks is not drink. But that doesn't make me sober. It just makes me not drinking. As a result, it's been harder the past few weeks for me, and more and more the idea of drinking has been trickling into my thoughts, without the alarm bells I used to have. Those alarm bells kept me on the straight and narrow. They reminded me of the half-dead human being I used to be.
Yesterday, I was taken to dinner by my dearest friends, to celebrate a birthday (not mine.) I actually had the thought that I would drink. Yes, I would have a few glasses of wine at this very spectacular restaurant, and I would be just fine. All day, I felt the AV making a plan.... one glass of very nice wine with my very nice meal and very nice friends. Maybe two. Oh, and then, maybe a coffee drink at the end with my very nice dessert. And then it went further- why not stop at the wine shop before, and put a bottle in the car to have when I went home? Finally. Alarm bells. The planning and conniving had started before I even left to go to dinner! That's when I realized, I have to pay attention forever and ever to this insidious voice in my head. The one that lays almost silent when I come here every day and post on the daily thread and make my presence known on the threads of others. It lays silent when I take true inventory of all the things that are better in my life because I left alcohol behind on that day in July 2014. I came here and read my old posts, my ongoing thread and the words of so many people who I have come to respect and hope to emulate. And I knew drinking was just not an option.
So, I called my friends and told them I would be the designated driver. And I was. It was raining and snowing when we left dinner, and they were both buzzed. VikingGF drove us all home, safe and sound. I called my mom on the way from their house to mine, and told her all about the evening, and I said, "Well, I drove us all," and she said, "Of course you did. You don't drink." My heart almost burst with gratitude and pride. She believes in me, so much. I earned that. How could I consider giving that away?
It's the little things. So grateful. Thanks to this place, once again. Thanks for listening and reading my silly words and understanding. I'm still here, still winning. I'll be here more, I cannot take this as lightly as I was, and it's important to all help each other. So important.
Thank you.
Yesterday, I was taken to dinner by my dearest friends, to celebrate a birthday (not mine.) I actually had the thought that I would drink. Yes, I would have a few glasses of wine at this very spectacular restaurant, and I would be just fine. All day, I felt the AV making a plan.... one glass of very nice wine with my very nice meal and very nice friends. Maybe two. Oh, and then, maybe a coffee drink at the end with my very nice dessert. And then it went further- why not stop at the wine shop before, and put a bottle in the car to have when I went home? Finally. Alarm bells. The planning and conniving had started before I even left to go to dinner! That's when I realized, I have to pay attention forever and ever to this insidious voice in my head. The one that lays almost silent when I come here every day and post on the daily thread and make my presence known on the threads of others. It lays silent when I take true inventory of all the things that are better in my life because I left alcohol behind on that day in July 2014. I came here and read my old posts, my ongoing thread and the words of so many people who I have come to respect and hope to emulate. And I knew drinking was just not an option.
So, I called my friends and told them I would be the designated driver. And I was. It was raining and snowing when we left dinner, and they were both buzzed. VikingGF drove us all home, safe and sound. I called my mom on the way from their house to mine, and told her all about the evening, and I said, "Well, I drove us all," and she said, "Of course you did. You don't drink." My heart almost burst with gratitude and pride. She believes in me, so much. I earned that. How could I consider giving that away?
It's the little things. So grateful. Thanks to this place, once again. Thanks for listening and reading my silly words and understanding. I'm still here, still winning. I'll be here more, I cannot take this as lightly as I was, and it's important to all help each other. So important.
Thank you.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,854
Originally Posted by VikingGF 
So, I called my friends and told them I would be the designated driver. And I was. It was raining and snowing when we left dinner, and they were both buzzed. VikingGF drove us all home, safe and sound. I called my mom on the way from their house to mine, and told her all about the evening, and I said, "Well, I drove us all," and she said, "Of course you did. You don't drink." My heart almost burst with gratitude and pride. She believes in me, so much. I earned that. How could I consider giving that away?
Thank you.
Thanks you, VikingGF, for this beautiful post.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
THAT is why we don't drink = loved ones trust and believe in us again!
On Christmas Eve after Church I gave my 6 months chip to my adult daughter. She looked at it in disbelief and her eyes welled with tears. Neither of us could speak......
Peace to us all on our journeys
On Christmas Eve after Church I gave my 6 months chip to my adult daughter. She looked at it in disbelief and her eyes welled with tears. Neither of us could speak......
Peace to us all on our journeys
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Your dear sweet mum was planting the seed for what you need to say to yourself when thoughts of drinking come into your head. The thoughts of drinking are AV. The AV is thoughts of drinking. You are not your AV. You don't drink. Ever. Booyah.
Well done, btw - each time gets easier, smoother, less congitive involvement. It will become second nature to you.
Well done, btw - each time gets easier, smoother, less congitive involvement. It will become second nature to you.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
I found myself nodding, and understanding your thought process on how you were going to allow your nice drinks at the nice restaurant...in fact my AV had already decided that I would have had a glass before I went. Thank you for reminding me that we don't drink.
Thanks for being part of us.
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Location: New England
Posts: 4,406
Originally Posted by Flynbuy
THAT is why we don't drink = loved ones trust and believe in us again!
On Christmas Eve after Church I gave my 6 months chip to my adult daughter. She looked at it in disbelief and her eyes welled with tears. Neither of us could speak......
Peace to us all on our journeys
On Christmas Eve after Church I gave my 6 months chip to my adult daughter. She looked at it in disbelief and her eyes welled with tears. Neither of us could speak......
Peace to us all on our journeys
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,406
Originally Posted by Ellay
I found myself nodding, and understanding your thought process on how you were going to allow your nice drinks at the nice restaurant...in fact my AV had already decided that I would have had a glass before I went. Thank you for reminding me that we don't drink.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Originally Posted by VikingGF
" and she said, "Of course you did. You don't drink." My heart almost burst with gratitude and pride. She believes in me, so much. I earned that.
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