First Step...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Surprise
Posts: 2
First Step...
Hello all, this is my first attempt at....anything like this.
I am 23 years old, and I have had a serious drinking problem since I was 19.
And, as many times as I have blacked out and made a fool of myself... New Years Eve was definitely rock bottom.
I blacked out, and physically attacked my boyfriend in front of his family.
I have virtually never felt so low, and god bless his heart, he has decided to stay with me while I seek professional help. (Dr appt on Tuesday!)
So, I guess I'm just looking for support, and if anyone out there needs to talk... I have plenty of stories and outlook on just how horrible binge drinking has been to my life, and my relationships. (And being 23, does not exempt you from having a problem... I thought that way, and it lead me to abusing someone before I realized I absolutely needed to completely cut alcohol out of my life for good. Its just not for everyone...)
I am 23 years old, and I have had a serious drinking problem since I was 19.
And, as many times as I have blacked out and made a fool of myself... New Years Eve was definitely rock bottom.
I blacked out, and physically attacked my boyfriend in front of his family.
I have virtually never felt so low, and god bless his heart, he has decided to stay with me while I seek professional help. (Dr appt on Tuesday!)
So, I guess I'm just looking for support, and if anyone out there needs to talk... I have plenty of stories and outlook on just how horrible binge drinking has been to my life, and my relationships. (And being 23, does not exempt you from having a problem... I thought that way, and it lead me to abusing someone before I realized I absolutely needed to completely cut alcohol out of my life for good. Its just not for everyone...)
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,718
Welcome! Good to have you join us! Hope you get the help you need and live a better way from now on. You have alot of living to do...being so young when you realized drinking is not for you. Keep posting! 
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
hi doll face i was just like you with drinking and at an early age
i didnt get away with much either as when i would go off like a bottle of pop full of anger drunk as a skunk the police would get hold of me and it would end up a night in the cells to face charges the next day be it drunk and disorderly to assault etc
my name would go into the local paper so i couldnt hide away from the shame of what i had done as everyone would be pointing there finger at me and i would just hide away full of fear
i loved the drink loved the effect but for me things would end up real ugly time and time again i would wake up the next day full of fear and shame guilt and remorse for what i had done
it was like another person comes out when i get drunk the very devil itself
i dont do those sorts of things sober, i know right from wrong etc
i went looking for help with drs as because i was so young and i could stop drinking and not have any real urges for a drink etc there was no way i could be an alcoholic in my mind an alcoholic is the tramp out on the streets who drinks every day etc
anyway i went to see the drs they tired to help me with pills and stuff but still i kept on drinking and ended up in more trouble i lost count of the girlfriends who thought i was a great guy unless i had a drink then they soon ran a mile believe me and i dont blame them as i would run a mile from me to when drunk
anyway it was because i was due up in court and i had been everywhere else for help that i decided to give aa a try as i had hoped they might save me from prison
anyway i soon started to learn all about what being an alcholic really is the identification i got with the members was huge
they explained to me about the drs opinion
how when i take a drink i then crave another one and another one and i can not stop so carry on drinking until i end up so drunk i dont know what i am doing blackout its called
in blackout i can do anything and everything as i have no control at all of my thoughts or emotions so if something seems like a good idea drunk as a skunk well there is nothng in my mind to say its not so off i go and do it
like drop my trousers ro shout rude words to upset people or end up telling people what i really think about them etc
it all made so much sense to me as it fits me like a glove, then they went on to tell me how this illness progresses within us and in time we end up drinking everyday
they go on to talk about there emotions being sober and its really mind blowing stuff, the selfish nature of an alcoholic how its all about me me me
there are many drinking pattens i dont identify with as they didn't drink like me, nor seemed to end up in the mess i was in but there are plenty of people who did so i got that identification and i had found the help i needed in aa
so i would offer up aa as a place for you to look into try a few different type of meetings as the ones that helped me the most were the meetings were people talked about what the drink had done to them in my early days they were what saved me i believe
anyway good look to you
edit
i wish of course i could of said it all ended happy ever after and i never drank again even though i did manage to stay stopped for 15 years and i then tried drinking once more, in those 15 years i never once ended up in a police cell or made a fool out of myself i had built up respect again and had my own small business with a wife and 5 kids
when i picked up the drink again within 8 years i had lost it all, ended up in prison, my whole life a huge mess and my 2 youngest kids ended up in social services care
i found aa again and this time been sober for almost 11 years, got my kids back out of care within my first year of being sober and been a single parent dad for the last nine years working and decent money coming in
sadly one of my young lads died aged just 16 from stomach cancer, i had to care for him around the clock and watch him die and suffer but i never once wanted or needed a drink
so aa works
i didnt get away with much either as when i would go off like a bottle of pop full of anger drunk as a skunk the police would get hold of me and it would end up a night in the cells to face charges the next day be it drunk and disorderly to assault etc
my name would go into the local paper so i couldnt hide away from the shame of what i had done as everyone would be pointing there finger at me and i would just hide away full of fear
i loved the drink loved the effect but for me things would end up real ugly time and time again i would wake up the next day full of fear and shame guilt and remorse for what i had done
it was like another person comes out when i get drunk the very devil itself
i dont do those sorts of things sober, i know right from wrong etc
i went looking for help with drs as because i was so young and i could stop drinking and not have any real urges for a drink etc there was no way i could be an alcoholic in my mind an alcoholic is the tramp out on the streets who drinks every day etc
anyway i went to see the drs they tired to help me with pills and stuff but still i kept on drinking and ended up in more trouble i lost count of the girlfriends who thought i was a great guy unless i had a drink then they soon ran a mile believe me and i dont blame them as i would run a mile from me to when drunk
anyway it was because i was due up in court and i had been everywhere else for help that i decided to give aa a try as i had hoped they might save me from prison
anyway i soon started to learn all about what being an alcholic really is the identification i got with the members was huge
they explained to me about the drs opinion
how when i take a drink i then crave another one and another one and i can not stop so carry on drinking until i end up so drunk i dont know what i am doing blackout its called
in blackout i can do anything and everything as i have no control at all of my thoughts or emotions so if something seems like a good idea drunk as a skunk well there is nothng in my mind to say its not so off i go and do it
like drop my trousers ro shout rude words to upset people or end up telling people what i really think about them etc
it all made so much sense to me as it fits me like a glove, then they went on to tell me how this illness progresses within us and in time we end up drinking everyday
they go on to talk about there emotions being sober and its really mind blowing stuff, the selfish nature of an alcoholic how its all about me me me
there are many drinking pattens i dont identify with as they didn't drink like me, nor seemed to end up in the mess i was in but there are plenty of people who did so i got that identification and i had found the help i needed in aa
so i would offer up aa as a place for you to look into try a few different type of meetings as the ones that helped me the most were the meetings were people talked about what the drink had done to them in my early days they were what saved me i believe
anyway good look to you
edit
i wish of course i could of said it all ended happy ever after and i never drank again even though i did manage to stay stopped for 15 years and i then tried drinking once more, in those 15 years i never once ended up in a police cell or made a fool out of myself i had built up respect again and had my own small business with a wife and 5 kids
when i picked up the drink again within 8 years i had lost it all, ended up in prison, my whole life a huge mess and my 2 youngest kids ended up in social services care
i found aa again and this time been sober for almost 11 years, got my kids back out of care within my first year of being sober and been a single parent dad for the last nine years working and decent money coming in
sadly one of my young lads died aged just 16 from stomach cancer, i had to care for him around the clock and watch him die and suffer but i never once wanted or needed a drink
so aa works
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Welcome dollface. I am also binge drinker that loses control of my actions and words after I cross a certain threshold. I have fought family, friends, and strangers in blackouts. It took me a while to realize I was not just a binge drinker but an alcoholic. I have been arrested 5 times and been in the ER at least 5 times. I wasn't always an angry and aggressive drunk but as my tolerance rose, I needed more and more booze to get drunk. That's when I started to drink until blackout.
Good for you in addressing your drinking now. U have your whole life ahead of you.
Good for you in addressing your drinking now. U have your whole life ahead of you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: uk
Posts: 82
Welcome, i am a binge drinker too and drink to get very drunk, i also say and do things i would never sober and for days i cringe, shudder and want to hide, sometimes i don't even know what i have said and done, but still have a feeling of something terrible happened.
Good luck x
Good luck x
Sober Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Lancashire
Posts: 170
Originally Posted by Getagrip 
Welcome, i am a binge drinker too and drink to get very drunk, i also say and do things i would never sober and for days i cringe, shudder and want to hide, sometimes i don't even know what i have said and done, but still have a feeling of something terrible happened.
Good luck x
Good luck x
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