brynn

I've been sober from alcohol for 28 days. I stopped hanging out with my usual crowd, left my alcoholic boyfriend, moved to a new place....basically shed my old drunk life.
But, I've kept a stash of pills....benzos and opiates 'just in case'. (Lame I know).
My 'thinking' had been that I needed them 'in case there was an emergency' (crazy, I know. What kind of emergency would require a cocktail of pills?!)

I knew I wasn't going to use them, but they were a security blanket of sorts.

My lame 'just in case' argument was challenged the other day by a friend here (thanks T). He said something to the effect that I deserved better than using pills as a source of support. And I know he's right.

I've been struggling for the past few days with the thought of flushing them, and I don't understand why, because I'm committed to sobriety and I know I'm tempting fate by hanging on to them.

Anyway...I guess I don't need to know WHY I'm struggling, I just need to take action ( which is something I learned from you fine people ).

So, I'm flushing the pills and I just needed to be accountable to y'all about this.

I think more than anything this scared me a bit, because I didn't realize just how sneaky my AV was until I was confronted about it.

As always...thanks for the support. I've learned so much from y'all.

Dee74

great move Brynn

D

SoberD

I think that's great Brynn. Also, what you said about "shedding your old drunk life" shows true commitment - I know it's not easy but I am slowly but surely doing the same and with each layer of the old drunk life that is shed, it becomes easier to conceive the greatness/happiness of a new sober life!

SoberLeigh

Strong and courageous decision, Brynn.

Lance40

That's really nice to hear Brynn. I'm proud of you.

SarahB60

Stay strong, Brynn! You made a wise decision.

Anna

That was a very good decision, Brynn.

Alwyshope12

That's the best decision you could have made.

Reading your post reminds me of my experience with prescription pills. I never made the connection until now, but several years ago I was prescribed some Valium, and it helped me sleep greatly, but I was also becoming very very paranoid at the time. I did not make the linkages that taking pills and drinking some wine or beers would make me crazy, but it did. It is also true that I did not make the connection that alcohol was making me crazy. It is really having my more jolted that I am beginning to understand this.

By the way, if you have the time, read the entire thread with lurcher in tht title, it is a fascinating read and so inspiratilonal.

Impurrfect

Way to GO Brynn!!

I had to let go of what I thought were security blankets in order to truly deal with recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Soberwolf

Awesome Brynn

LBrain

way to go brynn - NEVER LOOK BACK

least

I'm glad you got rid of them.

brynn

Thanks y'all.
I think by keeping the pills, I was almost testing myself in a way. How stupid!!
Feeling good about my decision.

Copper442

This just slapped me in the face. I also have a stash of pills. Up until this very moment I thought it was fine because "I'm in chronic pain from my ankle surgeries" yet I never take them for pain purposes. The thought of getting rid of them makes me frantic. I think I have some decisions to make...

Proud of you though, Brynn.

brynn

Copper...I was frantic at the thought of throwing them out, too!

I haven't needed pain pills for quite some time, and the ones I had stashed weren't even prescribed to me!! I had a hodge podge of pills from all sorts of people!

And my justifications were lunacy! Of course...I didn't really recognize it till one of our December classmates pointed it out to me.

I was just tempting fate.

I really hope you'll consider getting rid of them, copper.
xoxo

Della1968

You go girl!!

Copper I hope you get rid of them too!

SoberComposer

Congratulations on all the super power-moves Brynn! Sobriety is 100% better than the life we struggled through! That commitment you made to leave the bad friends, boyfriend and now the pills is assuring your freedom! There is no reason to ever go back. It's a tough ride some days as your body and brain adjusts but stay strong. It is totally worth it!!

Hawkeye13

You are very inspiring Brynn

Great job on getting rid of the pills and I hope you aren't feeling too lonely
letting go friends and boyfriend.

I also left behind my drinking buddies of many years when I quit.
I have slowly made some new friends who don't have substance issues.

We do things like go hiking together instead of drink in a dark bar.
Guess which is more fun?

happyandfree

Excellent decision brynn. You are going to make it. Stay strong.

growpath

good choice Brynn.

back in the day (my first attempt at sobriety) I held onto a six pack for "just in case the withdrawals were too bad". Well I made it through the withdrawals and on day 21 the 6 pack remained in the fridge. When one thing went wrong in my life (a stressful day at work) I was almost like a robot when I returned home from work and slammed the 6 pack. It was all my brain knew to do at the time to deal with stress.

Today, I know the only way to learn how to handle any stressful situation is to go through it fully aware and learn...then the best part come out stronger on the other end AND know exactly what to do besides booze to get through it.

Now when life comes around the corner and knocks ya down you will be so much stronger without those pills and with the new knowledge to get through that situation!

Very proud of you You are doing awesome!