seekinganswers

Hello, this is my first time here. I've been reading a lot about AA and AlAnon, I have attended one meeting, I am 40yo, divorced from an alcoholic for nearly 10 years, three children, and have been in a relationship for two years now. And guess what? I thought I turned another one into an alcoholic. Lol, I've learned that it's not my fault!! After going round and round on the merry-go-round, I've decided to jump off and decided he needs to do it by himself. I've supplied him with the tools, told him I'm here, and when he's in recovery, I will then continue our relationship. Is this the right course of action? I know it could be months, years before he gets to that point. I miss the good times, how do I hold out? Is there a better way? sigh..........

matters

Hello seekinganswers,
I am so glad you found us! You are the only one that can decide whether you want to end the relationship.Knowing that you are not responsible for anothers drinking problem is a start. You did not cause it,you can't control it and you can't cure it.But we all can get healing here one day at a time and help manage our own life and be happier ourselves.He has to be the one to seek help on his own. If you choose to wait is entirely up to you.I have been married for 27 years to my AH and waiting for him to get sober is a very negative thought.I choose to stay with him but I will work on myself and not focus on him and his drinking. Life is too short and way too precious. But we all have to do what each of us needs to do to be content.Take care and keep coming back.
hugs and prayers,
matters

Gabe

Hey Seeking,
You are doing all the right things. Recovery will only work for him when he decides that is what he really wants. In the meantime, you just keep right on taking care of you. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job of that.
Gabe