walkinganewpath

AAAAAHHHHH I am so angry right now. I just want to punch him so bad. He's been drinking for a couple days, his father has been here so I've been running interference (ok I've been pushing the questions back on him or have been 'honest'). His father actually asked if he could stay another week so he could have two more appointments with the massage therapist" that is helping his carpal tunnel. Not disparaging the profession but he's a dirty old man pig. I actually said "no...it's really not a good time right now for you to stay". He is AH's biggest trigger and I have no where to find solace anywhere in my house. Even my kids are stressing out.

So tonite AH said he was going to bed at 7:30 and I said" oh no you're putting the kids to bed" Which he hasn't done for 4 nights now. Then he got all nasty as in "what do you want from me???" WTF???? You have been drunk for two days, didn't even make it through the whole day of work today. You said you were going to keep it together through the holidays and while your dad was here. (uh yeah did I believe that - NOOOO) Instead you've been secretly drinking and he knows and I can't deal with a newbie in this situation - I'm trying hard enough on my own recovering and my own management of our 'family situation' You committed us to going to a friends tomorrow night (I don't really want to - they are like family and I love them but not this year). You made these grandiose plans to take DD - 11YO and her friend to the movies tonite and then blew that off because of a hangover. So yeah I told her the truth why you couldn't

I want you to stop being such a F up...I want to stop making excuses for you. I'm exhausted from f,.ing cooking, shopping, wrapping, socializing and doing dishes and laundry and cleaning up after 2 kids and two grown men who don't do ja#k shi&t for the past two weeks. I wanted to spend fun time with my kids this week on their vacation but feel overwhelmed by 'obligations' most of which I 've been the only one carrying out and preparing for. I just hate him right now and am soo sad that I do. Thankfully I went to a meeting yesterday as if I didn't I would have probably lost my mind totally instead of just partially - lol

I hate feeling this way. I really having been working program and I know this is just horrible for me but I can't seem to get out of it. The one thing I can say is I know I did the right thing in telling my FIL he can't stay.

I'm sleeping on the couch tonite

Thanks for 'listening'...I needed to get that out

suki44883

They're just precious, aren't they?

SeriousKarma

.... sigh .....

WaNP, the absolute worst 3 weeks of my 23 year marriage was once when my MIL came to stay. My STBXAH was either drunk or at work pretty much the whole time and I was left trying to cover. It was a nightmare. I know what you're going through.

Why, though, do you think you should continue making excuses for your husband?

You feel better about telling FIL he couldn't stay. Maybe you'll also feel better if you stop making excuses for him. Baby steps. Right?

SeriousKarma

.... sigh .....

WaNP, the absolute worst 3 weeks of my 23 year marriage was once when my MIL came to stay. My STBXAH was either drunk or at work pretty much the whole time and I was left trying to cover. It was a nightmare. I know what you're going through.

Why, though, do you think you should continue making excuses for your husband?

You feel better about telling FIL he couldn't stay. Maybe you'll also feel better if you stop making excuses for him. Baby steps. Right?

walkinganewpath

Snort.....yep they are!!! And honestly I do love the JackA$$. I have for 30 years. I just really do want to punch him right now. As I said when I am working program I am pretty good. I try every day (ODAAT) I think just the stress of the holidays and having his dad in our house has me over the edge. I shared at my meeting yesterday and said I was like that pressure cooker my grandfather used to cook with when I was kid - the same one that scared the heck out of me because if you didn't let the pressure out of it just right it could explode or burn you.

walkinganewpath

I said something to him today about not wanting to go to our friends for New Years. He said we have to. I said no we don't have to do anything we just have to face the consequences. I realized then that HE has to face the consequences of his drinking and that I'm tired of being the one who has to. I have been honest with my 11 YO DD without being nasty or making him the bad guy. But I've been isolating myself from a lot of people because I just don't want to get into it and don't want to make him look bad. So tired of it....yes baby steps. I've taken a few and I know with help from SR friends and my Al-Anon friends I can take more.

Thanks SK...