My way isnt working
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 14
My way isnt working
Hello,
I am driven yet again to seek clarity in my life through sobriety. It's a great way of living. I experienced true peace and serenity for a number of years when I was sober/spiritually progressive.
I got sober for real back in 2011. Stayed sober for two years. In that period I went from living in a halfway house with no job, to quickly accelerating in my career. I had a relationship too early on and ended up shifting my priorities. I soon became mainly focused with my job and relationship, sobriety was last. The relationship ended (it was never healthy for me) and I felt that loneliness that you feel when you are seeking something. I went back to try a drink and then realized I was going down the wrong path.
I moved to Miami, lived the life in Brickell maintaining sobriety for the first month or so. I met the woman of my dreams and we are now engaged.
The problem is: I go through periods of non-use then a binge. I seem to stick away from things I had problems with in the past (alcohol, cocaine, pain pills, benzos, etc your typical players) but I'll start out a run with marijuana, kava, Kratom, some lesser herb type intoxicant that I can sell to myself. Each time it ends up eventually to alcohol which will take me down fast.
I operate out of my house with work and have been very successful despite my slips. I have a wonderful woman in my life. I recently moved with her back to my roots to be closer to my family, as we are about 2 and a half months into a pregnancy. Needless to say my life has had a complete transformation.
I have everything I want and have a career that has unlimited potential for growth. I have a loving family, loving wife to be, a few good friends and a passion for what I do. When I hit these bumps in the road, it really makes me want to get back to that pink cloud.
I am thankful for you taking the time to read this post. I hope it helps you remember what it was like or give you support if you are in the same boat I am. I am still not sober, however I'm trying to head in that direction. Eventually when I have some confidence back, I'll get involved in my old spiritual support system. For now, however, I'll be using the support of fellow sober recovery members.
I have tried so many times to stay sober since meeting my fiancé. Sadly she has never seen me truly sober/happy/clear since the first day we met, or in very small doses when I'm not using for a while. I want to be sober for her, for my new baby or babies(may be twins), parents, family, employer, friends, but mostly I want to be sober for me. I think the sadness results from the feeling of misalignment (Abraham hicks folks will know). It's not being in alignment with your fullest inner self. We are limiting our spirit potential with the drugs and alcohol. Please pray for me that I am able to find my passion again for living clean. Thanks for listening.
I am driven yet again to seek clarity in my life through sobriety. It's a great way of living. I experienced true peace and serenity for a number of years when I was sober/spiritually progressive.
I got sober for real back in 2011. Stayed sober for two years. In that period I went from living in a halfway house with no job, to quickly accelerating in my career. I had a relationship too early on and ended up shifting my priorities. I soon became mainly focused with my job and relationship, sobriety was last. The relationship ended (it was never healthy for me) and I felt that loneliness that you feel when you are seeking something. I went back to try a drink and then realized I was going down the wrong path.
I moved to Miami, lived the life in Brickell maintaining sobriety for the first month or so. I met the woman of my dreams and we are now engaged.
The problem is: I go through periods of non-use then a binge. I seem to stick away from things I had problems with in the past (alcohol, cocaine, pain pills, benzos, etc your typical players) but I'll start out a run with marijuana, kava, Kratom, some lesser herb type intoxicant that I can sell to myself. Each time it ends up eventually to alcohol which will take me down fast.
I operate out of my house with work and have been very successful despite my slips. I have a wonderful woman in my life. I recently moved with her back to my roots to be closer to my family, as we are about 2 and a half months into a pregnancy. Needless to say my life has had a complete transformation.
I have everything I want and have a career that has unlimited potential for growth. I have a loving family, loving wife to be, a few good friends and a passion for what I do. When I hit these bumps in the road, it really makes me want to get back to that pink cloud.
I am thankful for you taking the time to read this post. I hope it helps you remember what it was like or give you support if you are in the same boat I am. I am still not sober, however I'm trying to head in that direction. Eventually when I have some confidence back, I'll get involved in my old spiritual support system. For now, however, I'll be using the support of fellow sober recovery members.
I have tried so many times to stay sober since meeting my fiancé. Sadly she has never seen me truly sober/happy/clear since the first day we met, or in very small doses when I'm not using for a while. I want to be sober for her, for my new baby or babies(may be twins), parents, family, employer, friends, but mostly I want to be sober for me. I think the sadness results from the feeling of misalignment (Abraham hicks folks will know). It's not being in alignment with your fullest inner self. We are limiting our spirit potential with the drugs and alcohol. Please pray for me that I am able to find my passion again for living clean. Thanks for listening.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
You will find lots of spiritual inspiration here at SR. And, I agree that there needs to be a spiritual aspect to recovery. Have you read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle? It's a blueprint for how to live your life while connecting with your spiritual self.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome.
I am getting back in alignment with AA as a key piece of my life.
I never lost it all, and have had runs of ups and downs in my life, but I see now it could have been a lot better by now too, if not for misalignment and addiction.
What are you doing to address your core needs? Are you striving for active recovery? What will keep you from that next relapse? How will your child experience you? As a sober, aware, present parent who intends and attracts abundance and teaches a Way of living that is healthy and positive? Or..... something else. A human being enslaved to substances.....
I hope that beyond posting here, you will choose active sobriety and find what works for you to support a life of presence, awareness, good modeling.... positivity.
AA and SR and counseling have helped me on that road for a year now, and it's getting deeper and richer and better all the time.
I am getting back in alignment with AA as a key piece of my life.
I never lost it all, and have had runs of ups and downs in my life, but I see now it could have been a lot better by now too, if not for misalignment and addiction.
What are you doing to address your core needs? Are you striving for active recovery? What will keep you from that next relapse? How will your child experience you? As a sober, aware, present parent who intends and attracts abundance and teaches a Way of living that is healthy and positive? Or..... something else. A human being enslaved to substances.....
I hope that beyond posting here, you will choose active sobriety and find what works for you to support a life of presence, awareness, good modeling.... positivity.
AA and SR and counseling have helped me on that road for a year now, and it's getting deeper and richer and better all the time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Welcome.
This getting AND staying sober is a work in progress and we need to surrender to win. Alcohol to us is powerful, cunning, insidious and baffling. It attacks in a heartbeat even when we think we are recovered.
Suggestions abound, I chose AA many years ago because it was the only show in town and it works for millions who WORK it.
No one is immune to it’s ravages so we need to focus it as a #1 priority before it’s too late and we can’t escape it’s ruinous results.
BE WELL
This getting AND staying sober is a work in progress and we need to surrender to win. Alcohol to us is powerful, cunning, insidious and baffling. It attacks in a heartbeat even when we think we are recovered.
Suggestions abound, I chose AA many years ago because it was the only show in town and it works for millions who WORK it.
No one is immune to it’s ravages so we need to focus it as a #1 priority before it’s too late and we can’t escape it’s ruinous results.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Originally Posted by FireTiger 
Hello,
The problem is: I go through periods of non-use then a binge. I seem to stick away from things I had problems with in the past (alcohol, cocaine, pain pills, benzos, etc your typical players) but I'll start out a run with marijuana, kava, Kratom, some lesser herb type intoxicant that I can sell to myself. Each time it ends up eventually to alcohol which will take me down fast.
The problem is: I go through periods of non-use then a binge. I seem to stick away from things I had problems with in the past (alcohol, cocaine, pain pills, benzos, etc your typical players) but I'll start out a run with marijuana, kava, Kratom, some lesser herb type intoxicant that I can sell to myself. Each time it ends up eventually to alcohol which will take me down fast.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 848
You'll get there. Day 2 here. It's no fun, but it is the path to healing.
I go through periods of non use too. (hence detox) I'll get a couple months sober. My doctor who is a recovering alcoholic calls them S.L.I.P's. (Sobriety Loses It's Priority)
That's why I have to up my recovery game and realize that I have anxiety and can't turn to the bottle to cure it, because in the end it doesn't fix anything.
I go through periods of non use too. (hence detox) I'll get a couple months sober. My doctor who is a recovering alcoholic calls them S.L.I.P's. (Sobriety Loses It's Priority)
That's why I have to up my recovery game and realize that I have anxiety and can't turn to the bottle to cure it, because in the end it doesn't fix anything.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome FireTiger 
I think rather than help mange it, drinking caused a good deal of my sadness.
I think you may be surprised at what even a few month total sobriety can do.
It's not a cure-all, but it will give you a steady platform to work on whatever else is left
D
I think rather than help mange it, drinking caused a good deal of my sadness.
I think you may be surprised at what even a few month total sobriety can do.
It's not a cure-all, but it will give you a steady platform to work on whatever else is left
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by FireTiger
Hello,
I am driven yet again to seek clarity in my life through sobriety. It's a great way of living. I experienced true peace and serenity for a number of years when I was sober/spiritually progressive.
I am driven yet again to seek clarity in my life through sobriety. It's a great way of living. I experienced true peace and serenity for a number of years when I was sober/spiritually progressive.
Make it happen
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 14
Thank you all for the love and support. I am off everything and tomorrow will be the first day I head back to AA. I'm excited to experience the bliss of sobriety again. I missed the brilliant intensify of life. Your kindness to spend a few minutes to read my thread has made a difference in my life. I'm glad to be a part of the team again. Much love and goodnight friends. I hope you all have a great Thursday.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
You've done it before you can do it again. Two years of sobriety is really something. How did you do it before? Clearly you have what it takes. As a parent myself you will soon enough see that drugs/alcohol are impossible to balance a happy and healthy loving family.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,634
Good for you! How did you like your first meeting back?
Also, early on making a daily habit to post helped me to get the ball rolling - It took me many tries too until I started to do that. SR is a very supportive 24 hour supportive community
Also, early on making a daily habit to post helped me to get the ball rolling - It took me many tries too until I started to do that. SR is a very supportive 24 hour supportive community
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