David79

I've been sober 43 days. I am starting to have dreams about booze. In them I don't drink but I buy or obtain booze. I'm having cravings stronger these days. I'm having the thought that I've proven to myself I can do this so it's ok if I skip.

Finding myself wanting my wife and son to take a trip to her parents so I can stay home and drink. Just 1 day won't hurt right? I realize this is my av. Implanting the thought in my brain that I'll inevitably drink again.

I won't. I definitely won't drink today or tomorrow.

I've been doing this without any meetings or sponsor. What should I do to make sure I have accountability?

Dee74

Posting here regularly is a good way to stay accountable - why not join the Class of November support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-6-a-8.html

You can also make a 24 hour commitment to recovery in this thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-31-a-18.html

D

David79

Also noticing that seeing the relapse posts here propels my av into turbo drive.

Thanks for the links. I'll keep posting. And if I can I will download some books to my kindle. Any suggestions?

hayley86

Hi David, congrats on your 43 days! I personally don't place much emphasis on drinking dreams as having much meaning. With regards to thinking that it's ok to drink because you have proven yourself, it's nonsense. Your AV is telling lies. You have already identified that, which is half the battle and you can learn to tune it out. Maybe posting on here some more might help or some face to face support? There is a great book list in the sticky at the top of the newcomers forum. Best wishes.

Soberwolf

Hi David well done on day 43 D provided some real good life links

Since ive got sober i have seen a lot of relapse around me death became a theme not just relapse

it bothered me as sometimes it felt no matter what i done it was inevitable but its not the case

David relapse is part of our addiction not part of our recovery

this is my first time sober over 18 days it took me 3 months of trying to get sober and here i am 17.5 months

this isnt just my first recovery its my last (this is my first time sober btw) i try not to focus on relapse i try to help those that do

its ok david relapse is by no means inevitable

GracieLou

I think you answered your own question. You are doing it alone, why not go to a meeting and get a sponsor?

There is no way I could have gotten and remained sober without help.

I go to AA meetings and I live the AA program but there are alternatives.

I still have drinking dreams now and then. I am so grateful and relieved when I wake up but they are frightening and hard to shake sometimes.

countrygirl2014

I agree with the last two posts. Face to face support is very important. Just have an open mind. It's like free group therapy. Just don't worry about sharing, listen to how others are doing it. And keep us close

Jennifer

sprout50

Well, you already know that your AV is messing with you. You know if you listen to it, where it will lead you. I recommend reading and posting here daily. And if the relapse threads are ramping up your AV-skip them. Read the other threads.

WIP17

Congrats on 43 days! Keep that AV in check, it likes to creep in and convince you otherwise. The Gratitude Thread is also a great read for more positive posts and a not much about relapse!