freetosmile

So they have basically closed down my alanon group. I don't know why, I just know that for the past two weeks, meetings aren't happening. It's a very very small area...so there could be a host of reasons. Reasons aren't important.

That Free needs to work the steps IS important. Is there anyone here who might be able and willing to help me work them? Someone I can PM or something with questions or helping me with the 4th and 5th?

I feel like I NEED to do this! And I feel isolated even further.
I KNOW they say face to face is better...hell I'd be willing to skype or something if that is what it took.

I guess I'm asking for someone to help me with this...I know this forum ISN'T alanon but...from the feel of it, it is about as close as I am going to get. I am reading the stickies and the step study guides. I just think that when it comes to 4 and 5, I'm gonna need some real guidance....ugh. I know this is a serious question, so only very serious responses...please and thank you.

FireSprite

Free, there is another sub-forum here specifically for step-workers, I think? Maybe that would be the best place to ask? Good luck!

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Eauchiche

Hi Free
I'm a guy, so can't offer this to you. I DID serve as an accountability person for a friend of mine long distance who was getting free from a porn addiction. That was in combo with a local 12 step group though.
I wish you all the best!

freetosmile

Thanks! I'm gonna go check it out.

Catherine628

I would consider checking back after the holidays to see if your al anon group is still up and running. I know some meetings have low attendance over the holidays.

I've heard of people doing 4th/5th step work with a pastor. I don't know your situation so I'm not sure if that is an option or not. I do commend you on being so dedicated to your recovery.

Hammer

Check.

Right.

I would propose you Get on Your Knees and Beg.

Sounds like I am joking, but really I am not.

Some folks may have the dignity to call it Prayer.

I kind of prefer to call what it is.

Just seems more honest to call "On the Floor Begging" . . . . "On the Floor Begging."

I sense that.

Longest Journey begins with the First Step.


When the Student is ready, the Master arrives.

btw, that aint me, nor likely anyone here, but who knows?

But you want to get Serious. mkay. This next part is Dead Serious. Really.

Get down on your hands and knees on the floor. Then get your palms flat down. Elbows on the floor. Forehead, nose, and nearly your lips touching the floor.

Now tell God what you have told us here. That you are seeking Guidance and Direction to Follow the Path and will do the Work by God's Grace and Power.

You down there on the floor? Really? Not if you are still reading this. Get on down there. You really want this, right?

Stung

There are online Al-Anon meetings (I highly recommend them) and I know people do steps via online groups too. Google is your friend.

Hawkeye13

Online Al-Anon Outreach

http://www.al-anon.org/electronic-meetings

Online Al-Anon Family Group, Support Group of Family and Friends of Alcoholics. MIP 12 Step Forums also provides onlin Alcoholics Anonymous, Adult Children Anonymous and Abuse Survivors 12 Step Meetings and Chat, Webmaster: John Freifeld

hope this helps!

Hangnbyathread

Went I went to Al-Anon, they were always struggling to keep up enough ongoing interest. They had 3 Al-Anon outlets here. I settled in on one that supported my schedule of life the best. The few core long timers get frustrated that they get few that stick around long. In the time I went, we would have floods of new faces each week. They would try it for a week or so and that was that. It began to depress me, to come each week and see a new sea of misery and re-listen to the misery stories and then they disappear and get replaced again with a new sea of faces. I talked to my sponsor about it and he said they were struggling to keep any one of them going and were considering trying to consolidate back to one to see if they could keep attendance up.

That would make it hard if there was only one table of schedules.

You did right by looking for a way to keep your spirits up in trying to find a way to continue. This board is a resource I found that helped me more than Al-Anon ever did. It allows for free thinking and an exchanges of views and values. I could find a level of exchange that I could relate to more quickly. There are many ways to recover, and many personal insights that can enlighten you both to the positive and to the negative things that you can identify with in yours.

Katchie

You local alanon hub should have a number you can call to see about what happened to the group

freetosmile

Yes, I do REALLY want this. I did pray exactly how you told me to and felt much better btw. I feel like I should maybe pray in that fashion more often actually. Very humbling. I know God will send me what I need. So I just let go and let God. Until then I will work the steps on the new step working forum and maybe try some online stuff.

Thanks so much guys! I appreciate it..I really really do.

freetosmile

I will for sure look into that as well-

Hammer

Yeah, figured I should let this sit a couple of days, because I know my stuff can be pretty wacky. Usually the crazier my stuff seems the more sincere I am. Sort of funny how God has caused the foolish stuff look wise, and the wise to look foolish. Praise God's Holy Name.

Dunno if you ever caught my story about the phone alarm clock and prayers. I was being annoyed one day. Sort of self-annoyed or at least annoyed with myself.

I did not want to answer my phone and it kept ringing. And I was sort of envious of some of the Muslim guys I work with. (I work on international design teams). They are all better "Christians" than me. So I studied them for a while.

Sort of like OPFOR (Opposition Forces) Study back in the Army.

Back then I had to study the Russian (or Soviet, as we called them) Lieutenant, because I was a US Army LT. So I did. He had a platoon. Same as me. He had a BMP -- about like the APC (Armored Personal Carrier) I had. Both had our Platoon Sergeants. Both had our troops. Our very similar weapons. On and on. I finally found the difference. The Soviet LT sort of wrapped his feet with some something like a scarf and had pull on boots. I Had my knitted US Army Green socks and Lace-up Jump Boots. THAT was the difference. Yeah. Not much difference and mostly silly.

So I sat there studying my Muslim buddies. What was the difference? What was it? I finally figured it out. They prayed 5 times a day. I would only pray in the Morning and Night. THAT was the difference.

So I set the Alarm on my annoying Phone to ring at 8 am, Noon, and 4 pm. So I could remember to pray with my "Phone Call To Prayer." NOW . . . . I could run with the Big Dogs. Sure -- kind of silly. Like the Boots. But it has really helped change some things. My kids noticed the Alarm and I told them about it. They would start praying with in the morning on the way to school, and sometimes in the afternoon. I liked what it was and is doing for me.

So just a while back I upped my copying to getting into Good Muslim Prayer Form, just like you did. Running with the Big Dogs, now, my Sister. I sort of explained to one of the guys what I had been doing. They just sort of laugh and smile at me, like I do them.

And the Phone Alarm still rings three times a day. I smile about that, too.

Do Good. Follow God's Lead.

freetosmile

Wow- hammer!! What an interesting life you have led, btw! I could sit around and listen to stories from old timers for hours! Thanks for taking the time for me. I appreciate it.