Kate96

Hi, I'm 13 days clean from a heavy opiate addiction for the last 5 years. I went cold turkey. The withdrawals were not so bad. The mental choice to stop was not so bad. I have not even had any cravings to take pills. But this constant level of anxiety that spills into panic is enough to make me bonkers!

I am a stay at home mom. My kids are in school. I have many hours of free time and that appears to be the biggest cause of being anxious. My mind constantly runs with "what are you going to do next...." It's irrational and foolish but it just keeps going.

My addiction is directly tied to me wanting my brain to stop "running". I know how it started and I know why. I understand it. I get what I've done to myself. What I don't get is how to stop the anxiety! I can and do talk myself down, I do the breathing exercises. But it constantly creeps back in.

No one in my real life knows I have a problem. I talk to my husband he knows there is a problem but he is not aware of how bad it is. He's law enforcement and I can't let it get out. We live in a small town. I am not concerned with the secret factor. I just have to be very careful!

I'm glad I found this site. I've been reading and it has really helped!

Kate

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Kate96, to SR. This a great place for support, encouragement and understanding AND it is 24/7/365.

Have you spoken with your doctor about your anxiety?

luvmygirls

Welcome Kate! I'm glad that your withdrawals weren't too bad, but I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety. Hopefully your doctor will be able to give you some good advice.

Kate96

I have a script for Ativan but the issue is take enough to kill the anxiety and then I'm a zombie who can't function or take just a bit of it and I'm still anxious but can't form enough of a sentence to keep any kind of emotional control.

I'm trying to just face the dragon and work through this without any other meds.

I don't know if it will work.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Kate!! Great job on Day 13!!

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR Kate

Well done on day 13

Dee74

Congratulations and welcome Kate

BernieE

Welcome, Kate. Check in with your doctor if the anxiety continues unabated.

Anna

Kate, I'm glad you're working on dealing with your anxiety. I have had anxiety issues since childhood, sometimes panic attacks. Like you, I have decided to deal with this without medication.

There are two books I have found very helpful:

"From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett
"When Panic Attacks" by David Burns MD

Straightshoot

Kate you sound like a very strong person. Sounds like you can do this !!!! Pills were tough for me to stop, but I did it. I leaned on them far too long for anxiety issues. No more.

Anna thanks for the book listing. I have read the first, will look into the second.

cneely06

Kate,
Im in the same boat I had anxiety really bad for the first 30 days. I went to a herbal market and got anxiety meds. There all natural. At first they took the edge off a little. I just didnt want to take prescription medication cause of how it made me feel. I take them once a day. It may or may not help you. I hope it gets better for you. And congrats on 13 days

Kate96

Thanks everyone!

Today was a horrid anxious day. I have to say it's the first day of the last 2 weeks that I wanted to take a pill to make it stop. But I didn't. I made it through without any drugs.

I will beat this. I will stay clean!

I am ashamed of what I have become. The wife of a cop and I'm an addict.

soberclover

No one is immune from the disease of addiction; don't feel ashamed. Many of us here have a variety of jobs in the medical, clinical, and legal fields. Congratulations on your clean time! Crocheting helps keep my mind and my hands busy. Keep reading various posts on various forums; lots of support and information.

Della1968

Don't be ashamed it has happened to the best of us. Be proud you are doing something about it!