Bitter Truth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 11
Bitter Truth
This is a piece of share by someone who was 6+ years sober and clean and I had a chat with him a while ago. He said his story actually:
"Recovery Program works best for those who absolutely lost EVERYTHING in their life, alcohol/drugs has beaten them up so badly that they are close to death and they have totally nothing left, and they are just thirsty to know what to do to save themselves. They are the ones who drag themselves into the meeting rooms, fall to the feet of members and beg them to tell what to do? And they just do whatever they tell them with no question. Alcohol/drugs has ruined their intellect, pride, and basically screwed them to near death. "
Then I asked him, what if the person is not sure whether AA/NA works or not for them? He said:
" that means they are not screwed up enough yet; sadly the alcohol/drugs will ruin them some more, and if they are lucky, they will reach to that point before death, and they will surrender finally."
I found it a brutal and bitter fact, but true at the same time.
Then he said his story as this:
"when I started twelve step recovery program, I went with the situation of breaking the nose of my wife, blood was running from her face on my 3-month-old baby in her arms ,I was angry, poor and miserable and with this situation I knocked the door of a guy who was sober for many years and was a sponsor. He told me ,if you think you are ****** up enough, FILL UP 90 DAYS 90 MEETINGS . See you at the meeting. And that was it, I stick with full force to the meetings for 90 days and listened whatever they told me, and then I said please tell me what else should I do? and so on.. until now that I am more than six years sober"
Thought it is a good share to spread it among those who have problem with alcohol/drugs and feel it is enough already.
thanks for reading.
"Recovery Program works best for those who absolutely lost EVERYTHING in their life, alcohol/drugs has beaten them up so badly that they are close to death and they have totally nothing left, and they are just thirsty to know what to do to save themselves. They are the ones who drag themselves into the meeting rooms, fall to the feet of members and beg them to tell what to do? And they just do whatever they tell them with no question. Alcohol/drugs has ruined their intellect, pride, and basically screwed them to near death. "
Then I asked him, what if the person is not sure whether AA/NA works or not for them? He said:
" that means they are not screwed up enough yet; sadly the alcohol/drugs will ruin them some more, and if they are lucky, they will reach to that point before death, and they will surrender finally."
I found it a brutal and bitter fact, but true at the same time.
Then he said his story as this:
"when I started twelve step recovery program, I went with the situation of breaking the nose of my wife, blood was running from her face on my 3-month-old baby in her arms ,I was angry, poor and miserable and with this situation I knocked the door of a guy who was sober for many years and was a sponsor. He told me ,if you think you are ****** up enough, FILL UP 90 DAYS 90 MEETINGS . See you at the meeting. And that was it, I stick with full force to the meetings for 90 days and listened whatever they told me, and then I said please tell me what else should I do? and so on.. until now that I am more than six years sober"
Thought it is a good share to spread it among those who have problem with alcohol/drugs and feel it is enough already.
thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
I know many many sober people in AA who didn't wait until the elevator went all the way to the bottom to get off. They saw they had a problem and decided they wanted to change before they jails, institutions and death.
You don't have to lose everything before you can get sober. That's rediculous. I didn't lose everything and I'm in AA getting sober. I still have a husband, children, house, cars, money...
I decided to get sober because I was MISERABLE! I couldn't even look in the mirror! I also watched several friends and family members die from this disease at a very young age and knew what was coming if I didn't stop.
Most of them died of liver failure. Literally, one day they were fine and the next day they were yellow! They went to the ER and found out their liver was basically dead. They died 2-3 days later. Scary stuff. We don't need to end up 6 feet under!
Stay strong. You can do this!
I love AA. I could not stay sober without it and the people helping me....
You don't have to lose everything before you can get sober. That's rediculous. I didn't lose everything and I'm in AA getting sober. I still have a husband, children, house, cars, money...
I decided to get sober because I was MISERABLE! I couldn't even look in the mirror! I also watched several friends and family members die from this disease at a very young age and knew what was coming if I didn't stop.
Most of them died of liver failure. Literally, one day they were fine and the next day they were yellow! They went to the ER and found out their liver was basically dead. They died 2-3 days later. Scary stuff. We don't need to end up 6 feet under!
Stay strong. You can do this!
I love AA. I could not stay sober without it and the people helping me....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
I didnt lose everything but was on the cusp. For some the entire rug has to be pulled out. Im glad I stopped before that happened. I am thankful to God that enough had been lost that I could be "teachable"
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
No doubt people reach AA with so much stuffing knocked out of them that they desperately go after the program.
But more and more people are coming in with plenty of time to spare before hitting a super low rock bottom.
It's actually a great thing, means that the message is getting through that alcohol can be highly destructive when abused.
But more and more people are coming in with plenty of time to spare before hitting a super low rock bottom.
It's actually a great thing, means that the message is getting through that alcohol can be highly destructive when abused.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I have found AA to be a huge component of my sobriety.
I didn't lose everything, but I did have enough negative consequences to convince me that I definitely could.
Part of what keeps me convinced is sticking to the rooms, coming back here, keeping my head in recovery and remembering my own history with alcohol and how incredibly fortunate I am that somehow I didn't lose everything or go to prison or kill someone or die.
I don't have to lose it all, as long as I am willing to stay connected to the stories of those who have, and to stay humble enough to see how close I really have come.
I choose sobriety because my life is worth so much more than alcohol. I honor that choice by remaining close to others who also make that choice, or who are still struggling to free themselves.
I didn't lose everything, but I did have enough negative consequences to convince me that I definitely could.
Part of what keeps me convinced is sticking to the rooms, coming back here, keeping my head in recovery and remembering my own history with alcohol and how incredibly fortunate I am that somehow I didn't lose everything or go to prison or kill someone or die.
I don't have to lose it all, as long as I am willing to stay connected to the stories of those who have, and to stay humble enough to see how close I really have come.
I choose sobriety because my life is worth so much more than alcohol. I honor that choice by remaining close to others who also make that choice, or who are still struggling to free themselves.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Dr Bob hadn't gotten to that point, but he was willing to stay stopped.
We don't have to lose everything for the 12 steps of AA to work
If you aren't sure whether or not it will work, work those steps and find out.
We don't have to lose everything for the 12 steps of AA to work
If you aren't sure whether or not it will work, work those steps and find out.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Glad you're here, Welcome!
I know all kinds - those that indeed lost everything and those who did not. There's a chapter in the Big Book - They Stopped in Time, many identify with this section.
It really doesn't seem to matter. Those that are ready - accept they cannot drink, and have the willingness to change are able to quit regardless of circumstances, In my experience.
Our "bottom" is when we choose to stop digging, it does not have to be horrific - though often time is indeed.
We are a diverse lot with a common thread.....
Keep coming back!
I know all kinds - those that indeed lost everything and those who did not. There's a chapter in the Big Book - They Stopped in Time, many identify with this section.
It really doesn't seem to matter. Those that are ready - accept they cannot drink, and have the willingness to change are able to quit regardless of circumstances, In my experience.
Our "bottom" is when we choose to stop digging, it does not have to be horrific - though often time is indeed.
We are a diverse lot with a common thread.....
Keep coming back!
I will NOT drink to that!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Baltimore MD USA
Posts: 634
Originally Posted by Flynbuy 
It really doesn't seem to matter. Those that are ready - accept they cannot drink, and have the willingness to change are able to quit regardless of circumstances, In my experience.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
That's interesting. I struggle with this myself. On one hand, it's easy to convince myself that I'm able to "manage" my life while drinking because on the surface, I seem to accomplish more than most (personally and professionally). It seems easy to say, "well if something like THAT happened, I would definitely stop immediately!" Of course, "something like THAT" is a moving target and would most likely include things that just hadn't happened yet, but would in time, the whole argument that "functional is a stage of alcoholism, not a type."
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
At the beginning I was unable to see how close the end was. All I knew is I could not continue the way I was. As the fog cleared I could see how unmanageable my life had become and that the end was dangerously close. It took at least a year to fully surrender and to accept that AA had a solution.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
i was one of those who came in with nothing and did more than 90 meetings in 90 days as i had nothing else left in the world
i would look at others in aa who still had so much left to lose and wonder how on earth they got out of it ?
some say a god protected them and took them to aa, others say they just got sick of it all
either way they got to aa before all the bad stuff happened to them, but i never believed the bad stuff would happen to me i was different lol so i kept on going on and on losing more and more
people come into aa at different levels but its a good thing they can come in before they lose it all is how i think.
i would look at others in aa who still had so much left to lose and wonder how on earth they got out of it ?
some say a god protected them and took them to aa, others say they just got sick of it all
either way they got to aa before all the bad stuff happened to them, but i never believed the bad stuff would happen to me i was different lol so i kept on going on and on losing more and more
people come into aa at different levels but its a good thing they can come in before they lose it all is how i think.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome to the forum. I love the phrase "our bottoms are where we choose to stop digging." I didn't lose everything or really anything material. But I lost my self respect and my ability to live a normal life. And that is huge.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by JT0626
This rings true for me. I haven't hit rock bottom nor have I lost it all per se, but I realized how miserable I was emotionally. In my case I lost MYSELF...the confident, sexy, physically fit, independent Monica was replaced by a chubby, depressed, emotionally stagnant version. I hated what I had become & I knew it was the alcohol. That was all I needed to quit.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by JT0626
This rings true for me. I haven't hit rock bottom nor have I lost it all per se, but I realized how miserable I was emotionally. In my case I lost MYSELF...the confident, sexy, physically fit, independent Monica was replaced by a chubby, depressed, emotionally stagnant version. I hated what I had become & I knew it was the alcohol. That was all I needed to quit.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
