Hammer

Going Mental: What is a Healthy Relationship?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNPANO_2VMA

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I think it is pretty easy for most of us here to be able to say what sucks and a miserable relationship is. Fair enough?

On the other hand, just because we are collectively Masters of the Bad, it does not infer we would know the other end -- What a Healthy Relationship is.

Which happens to be a New Topic . . . at least for me . . . is what a Good, or Healthy Relationship? Suppose one cannot have one, if one does not even know what one is?

Since my Brain(s) usually seem to have stumble though what my heart does not get, I have to do this as a study topic.

Here were some highlights that caught my ear/eye . . .

At 4 Minutes: Infatuation -- Horny Rabbit Stage. I think we all get that.

THAT is not love.

Then comes . . . . Power Struggle -- either the people move past that or stay stuck there.

Conflict is Normal. Staying there is not.

At 10 Minutes: What Healthy Takes: Emotional Mature Adults, who have Good Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution Skills and the ability to compromise.

At 14 Minutes: Having no standards. Typical are: Are they attractive? Will they sleep with me?

At 20 Minutes: Bad Mouthing. [yunno -- Mrs. Hammer has been actively backstabbing me for years.]

At 21 Minutes: You can't have a Healthy Relationship if one-half is ****** in the head.

At 31 Minutes: Mars and Venus -- book is in Trash Can.

At 40 Minutes: Alone beats being in a Bad Relationship.

Hmmm. Well, my Semi- and Dysfunctional Friends and Family . . . any thoughts on this?

Stung

I'd guess it takes 2 Emotionally Mature Adults, who have Good Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution Skills and the ability to compromise and then a bunch of other stuff like respect, attraction, shared interests, etc.

Relationships aren't a science though.

The healthiest marriage I've ever witnessed are two people who are in program and I never knew they were in program until recently. Just goes to show. I think "healthy" relationships really just take two people who are willing to work for their own happiness and work together on the relationship.

Just my two cents, hopefully taken with a boulder of salt. I only know dysfunctional romantic relationships.

Katchie

Interesting thought. What I've put off and need to do is write what I want out of a relationship. Not that my ideas would be perfect with anyone, but if there is agreement and action behind it from both parties that is at least a good foundation to start from. I think that also keeps me on track and not stuck in fantasy land, which seems to be where I hang out often.

Hammer

Hey, you tend to bring your Accounting to this stuff, I bring my Engineering.

We are what we is.

Yeah, that you did not know -- lets you know that they even take the Anonymity aspects seriously.

THAT shows a Great Respect for the Program (Tradition 12. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.")

So it would seem reasonable they would be doing well.

Just my humble -- 12 Step Relationships, where both sides are actually doing their stuff . . . are the things dreams are made of.

Yeah. That. You and me, both, sister.