countrygirl2014

Someone shoves the drink in your face. Someone who I have not admitted my problem to. Someone who definitely would not understand. Someone who is in our family, that I can't stay away from that I used to drink with. Apparantly I got drunk in black house last New Year's Eve?? I don't remember it. But my boyfriends brother pulled the bottle out tonight and told me this is where we left off last year, this is where we will start. My mouth watered and my throat burned. I don't even like that stuff. He took the cap off and told me to smell it. I did NOT. I said no way dude, it reminds me of the inside of the toilet, we laughed and the subject was dropped. I looked at my boyfriend who saw the mental battle on my face. I can't get out of New Years this year. It's not just drinking. The kids all get together, there's family young and old...and then there is the brother. Uggggh. My man already told me he would talk to him. But my god am I nervous. I am so scared to death of drinking again. Just thought I would share.

Jennifer

advbike

I don't understand why you wouldn't have told him you're not drinking anymore, or admit you have a problem with it. Who cares what he thinks, or if he "understands"? If you don't want people to shove drinks in your face you need to let them know that you're not drinking and you prefer not to be around it.

In early sobriety you have to do whatever it takes to avoid situations that can cause a relapse. That said, my ex girlfriend's 80 year old mother was confused about why I quit drinking wine when I was visiting them in early recovery and proffered her glass to me also.. lol. It was so insensitive that it was funny , so I just laughed it off and it didn't happen again.

Dee74

I agree with advbike - if you haven't made it crystal clear you're not drinking anymore - make it clear.

if he asks why - tell him you don't wanna.

D

Venecia

Jennifer, I have to agree with Advbike.

You've worked really hard and come a long way. The party that's causing you this angst isn't jury duty. Find a way out of it. Your sobriety is much more important.

Hang in there.

BBQBiker

Whether you decide to tell him or not it sounds like you are committed to your sobriety. Stay strong. We are here with you.

Serenidad

You can do this Jennifer! I just had to spend an entire day and night at my in-laws house where EVERYONE was drinking except the kids! I made it thru and so can you!!! If I were you I would tell that guy that you quit drinking and to please not offer you alcohol again. Is that possible?

We must be true to ourselves...this is life or death.

Hang in there! You WILL stay sober! I know you will!!! :-)

usetobeabrave

This holiday season has been rough. Some family members are supportive but others are not. I am using the negative as a way to stay strong.

Lorax1981

We are trailblazers, we go our own way! Do what's right for you, don't follow the group!

instant

Take yourself out of the equation. I think in early recovery it is the best way. Later on decide if this person has a place in your life.

Buggirl

I have been offered plenty of drinks and been brought plenty and just said I don't drink anymore and declined or gave the drink away. Just say no! You don't need to explain why and have your non alcoholic drink of choice in hand. You can do this!

desypete

you know i come from the breed of alcholics that know just how dangerous it really is to pick up a drink again

i might not be able to give up drink again if i dare pick it up

i know many around here treat relapse as some sort of game or think if they drink today they can give up again tomorrow and for me that is dangerous thinking as i know just were the booze took me and how i couldnt get off the drink no matter what i tired

so my advice to you is to not go to this new years eve party as the danger signs are there
it doesnt matter one bit what anyone else thinks of you for not going at least you will be making sure you dont pick up the drink again and that has to be number 1

dont be fooled into thinking you can get away with drinking just on new years eve and stop again the next day as if your an alcoholic its going to be the hardest thing to give up again

there comes a point were stopping drink will not happen so why take the risk ?

put sobriety number 1 in your life and dont be looking for excuses to go to the party

good luck to you

Soberwolf

This

countrygirl2014

Why have I not told him?

I honestly think I did. I was very foggy in the beginning. He needs a reminder. He IS an idiot. If I could invite you all together and introduce him, you would all go "ohhhhhhh....yeah good luck with that" and jokingly pat me on the back.
This is a family who revolves their entire existence around the consumption of alcohol. My boyfriend took my problem all in with a very open mind and is very supportive. He made a joke last night that God has a sense of humor throwing me, the alcoholic into a family that is for the most part, never going to get it. They view AA as I once did. A group of scary, brainwashed, out of control people...I'm glad I no longer think this way. I'm babbling. Coffee is too strong.

Jennifer

trachemys

Jen, just tell them you don't drink.

Conquest

Hey Jennifer! You've overcome so much already, I know you can handle this. Use that supportive boyfriend as a shield! Would it be possible to give his brother one last stern reminder and then let your honey handle the rest?

So proud of you! Your posts always make me smile.

OklaBH

...My experience....
By not being firm when people insisted and by going to drinking parties (and I had a ton of excuses why they could not be avoided), I found that was my alcoholic brain keeping the option to drink open for me. Eventually it worked. I relapsed several times. Now i have zero tolerance for it.

SoberLeigh

You are terrific, Jennifer. Your 'it reminds me of the inside of a toilet' made me laugh.

"No thanks" works 95% of the time for me. If not "No thanks; I don't drink" usually does it.

If people get obnoxious about, let your bf diffuse the situation.

gippy1968

If it's really that difficult to put your foot down, why not skip the party and do something with your BF - just the 2 of you? 'Surprise' him with an evening alone. He sounds very understanding.
You wouldn't be missing anything but a booze fest, right?

Tang

I think it was someone here who told me: no one can force you to drink.

Serenidad

My husband's family is the exact same way...haha. They have a full bar in their 1500 square foot basement! It's like a real pub in their house complete with a large stone bar, wine cellar, 2 large refrigerators full of beer, beer on tap, every kind of liquor you can imagine, pool table, large screen TVs, surround sound....etc. And I have to go there all the time. They are CLUELESS even though people in the family have died from alcoholism! They are truly CLUELESS. Alcohol is ALWAYS such an important part of EVERYTHING at there house or any family function there! It's sooo annoying! Ugh! Geez, I guess I needed to vent! Haha