critical on the sly?
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
critical on the sly?
I'm having a hard time today, have thought of drinking several times today. I made it through thanksgiving xmas eve and xmas day without thinking of a drink as much as I have today. Im having constant negative thoughts about a few things that I perceive as critical remarks and held back grins from others made towards me... by family of course. My mother grinning at these remarks hurt the most. I just brushed them off the old me drinking or not would of come right back at them, but I'm trying earnestly to not let others upset me or upset myself. I'm also trying to convince myself that my AV is just trying to get me to drink. I feel like being sober means I have to be so nice so forgiving and take crap from others. I feel like I have to be an unfeeling creature just to not drink. BTW been pigging out on leftovers and sweets since yesterday. I haven't done this in a long time and it just feels not as bad , but up there with drinking. Also smoking like a bandit. What should I do? Going to AA is out not my cup of tea.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 780
Being sober doesn't mean taking crap from others. But are you sure it's crap? Or are you misinterpreting? Even if it is crap, you can't always change the way other people are, just your reaction to them.
I can identify with the pigging out on sweets. It happens. It's not the best habit but I've never crashed a car or woken up in a ditch due to too many sweets. One step at a time.
Can you call someone? Go for a walk? Read a positive book? Post more here?
I can identify with the pigging out on sweets. It happens. It's not the best habit but I've never crashed a car or woken up in a ditch due to too many sweets. One step at a time.
Can you call someone? Go for a walk? Read a positive book? Post more here?
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
Thx yinzer. I know deep down that everything you have said is true. Now I have to truly accept it. I'm reading posts and watching a movie. And trying to keep foremost in my head that I cannot and won't drink tonight no matter what. I kept reading on here when I first came there would be good days and bad days. I finally hit a bad day...now let's see how well I use my tools. Thx again for your help.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
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Hang in there. Can you get out for a bit? Take a walk? Look at Christmas lights. Might give you a break. Go to a different room if you can't get out. Sometimes we all need a break from people. Time outs aren't just for kids
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
be proud of yourself. no-one can take it away from you, what they think or say doesn't matter, keep strong and next year they won't be saying these things - one should hope,
be the better person, and as was suggested, try to find a diversion, go for a walk, immerse yourself in a movie or music, read something, and post often...
you are doing great!
be the better person, and as was suggested, try to find a diversion, go for a walk, immerse yourself in a movie or music, read something, and post often...
you are doing great!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
Thx all for the encouragement. Unfortunely glued to the house due to dui, live in the boonies. Just finished watching Belle and am going to watch the Equalizer with Denzel next. Helps a little and reading and posting here helps even more. The bottom line is I have to deal with feelings without trying to numb them with unhealthy things, even if they dont feel good. Sheet! I use to drink even if I was feeling on top of the world, even when others were praising me for something like doing a great job at work and getting recognized for it...time to turn up! Whew! I gotta lot of work ahead of me. Thx SR for helping me.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 223
U can do it mistory! I am on probation for a DUI I got this past May and the holidays have been really tough but I'm getting thru it. The emotional roller coaster is crazy but it won't get any better if I pick up a drink. My uncle made a joke about my DUI and sobriety and it really upset me but I keep remembering that I'm slowly working on me for me not anyone else. I'm pulling for u! I'm watching movies and enjoying some good food as well!
Stay positive.
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 84
Mistory I can totally relate to your post. I was able to make it sober through Xmas eve with my bfs over-bearing family, and Xmas day with my relatives (32 of us). But what I found was that I replaced booze with sweets, and cigarettes. For me being what they call a "gym rat" I feel absolutely disgusting... Already added on 5 lbs 
Granted no hangovers or embarrassing myself, but I've been craving booze ALOT today as well. Aside from SR what is keeping me sober is my mom looking at me on Christmas and crying telling me that this is the daughter she once knew and how much she missed her. I will never forget the happiness in her eyes... so I know I can't let her or the rest of my family down, or myself. These cravings will pass and just keep yourself occupied like you are, stay in touch on here and the cravings will eventually subside. Stay strong
Granted no hangovers or embarrassing myself, but I've been craving booze ALOT today as well. Aside from SR what is keeping me sober is my mom looking at me on Christmas and crying telling me that this is the daughter she once knew and how much she missed her. I will never forget the happiness in her eyes... so I know I can't let her or the rest of my family down, or myself. These cravings will pass and just keep yourself occupied like you are, stay in touch on here and the cravings will eventually subside. Stay strong Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
I'm sorry you are struggling Mistory. You can do this! You are strong! We all have hard days but you and I both know that drinking will turn our hard day into a HORRIBLE day! I am praying for you now!!! Get a good nights sleep and start your day over tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better!
Can you get some exercise tomorrow? I've been walking about 45 min to an hour every day and it really helps! Just being outside does wonders. Even if it's cold...I just bundle up and get some fresh air.
Hang in there!!
Can you get some exercise tomorrow? I've been walking about 45 min to an hour every day and it really helps! Just being outside does wonders. Even if it's cold...I just bundle up and get some fresh air.
Hang in there!!
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
You all are awesome! Its truly amazing how hearing from those who share their stories of a similar nature or what they do to get through the tough times helps so much. Thx again. I think I am going to try to start trying to walk. Don't know if I can do 45 mins starting out, but how about 15 mins working my way up?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
You all are awesome! Its truly amazing how hearing from those who share their stories of a similar nature or what they do to get through the tough times helps so much. Thx again. I think I am going to try to start trying to walk. Don't know if I can do 45 mins starting out, but how about 15 mins working my way up?
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by mistory5 
You all are awesome! Its truly amazing how hearing from those who share their stories of a similar nature or what they do to get through the tough times helps so much. Thx again. I think I am going to try to start trying to walk. Don't know if I can do 45 mins starting out, but how about 15 mins working my way up?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
One of the skills of Sobriety is learning how to feel again, how to run with the emotions and feelings in life and not reach for a bottle, but instead feel and experience every bit of life.
A pretty scary concept when first realised, but it can be done, we can develop new tools to deal with life!!
A pretty scary concept when first realised, but it can be done, we can develop new tools to deal with life!!
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