callmemilly

Drink. I'm trying really hard not to. Next Friday I leave for a lovely vacation. Last yr I drank most of December and did the same vacation but I was sick, 2 colds/infections in a row. It was awful. I blame the drinking, because probably my immune system was down, no proper sleep, etc.

Determined not to this year, but it is so hard today. The day is the worst time bc I could pop over to the liquor store in like 10 minutes.

I'm supposed to go on a long hike tomorrow, 17 km, but even the thought of that isn't helping. I just want to cancel and go to the liquor store.

When I come back from my vacation I'm going to call substance abuse program.

I just feel like it makes everything better. Like it's not worth doing anything unless I can drink. So stupid. It's worse bc I feel like this is my last chance for a while, bc I work next week til I leave for my vacation and I don't tend to drink when on vacation bc I like to be alert in another country. I never have a problem when I'm away.

Anyway I'm just venting. Trying to put it out there so I can resist but honestly I just don't feel strong enough.

Yesterday I was like- this is fine, I don't need help with drinking. Today I would like to go and get drunk right now. And it never feels like enough.

Copper442

I'm glad you posted first before just heading on out to the liquor store. You mentioned going on a hike tomorrow, is there anything you can do today for a few hours to distract yourself? Take a walk, read a new book, go browse at some stores?

MariahGayle

This is hard Milly.....just try & stay in the moment & not drink today. No worries about tomorrow or next week. Drinking is NOT our solutions! (hugs to you)

Ghostlight1

It never was enough for me.
I romanticized drinking a lot in early sobriety. All the fun. All the lowered inhibitions. I could be someone I wasn't for awhile.
But, the reality would set in the next day or days depending on the length of my bender.
The misery, anxiety and, self loathing and regret. I found I could avoid all that if I didn't drink.
After some sober time, I found out who I was. I am fun. I do enjoy things only without alcohol. I like myself now. And I know there's nothing a drink is gong to make better or more fun.
I wish the same for you.

Briar

For me it takes telling myself over and over that staying sober is going to be worth it, even though it doesn't seem that way right now. Sometimes you have to sacrifice right now to have a better rest of your life.

Soberwolf

Hi Milly try this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

HellJuice

Hiking is a great way of getting your mind off of drinking. For me just being in the outdoors helped. I think you made a good decision to go tomorrow.

bunnezjp

You're right, drinking will make everything seem better. For about 5 minutes, maybe an hour. But then what? You know what I'm talking about, when you start to feel the "goodness" begin to slip away, and reality creeping back in...then you have no choice. You drink some more and prolong the inevitable. Or you feel the slow decay of the "goodness". Both choices suck. They can both be avoided.

Bunnez

Jsbodhi

Interesting!
I'm also going on vacation and don't really have a problem staying sober while away, I mean I have drank on vacations, but I can leave it alone as well.
Stay sober today and be healthy for your hike and vacation, tomorrow you'll be happy you did.
Could you go and spoil yourself today instead? Get a massage, then have a nice dinner?

zeppodog

Sometimes it's not one day at a time but one hour at a time, I've been sober for a while and it just started to get hard again, helps to post here and know I'm not going thru this alone, stay strong, don't give in.

callmemilly

I think I'm past the worst of it today. Not sure I will make it all week before my departure, but anyway.

Not drinking today, just leaves me with myself and I realize how much of it is just escaping, me who I am , what I feel, whatever my life is. I'm not happy, so why wouldn't I want to escape it? I just don't know what to do anymore to make myself happy. And it's true that alcohol is depressant, and any good there is gets lost in that.

Anyway I think I'm through the worst of it today. Went for a run. Thank goodness in Canada they don't sell alcohol in the corner stores. There's one across the street

Soberwolf

Hi Lilly just focus on not drinking today

drinking doesnt let us escape it lets us destroy ourselves

Drinking isnt a option for me you have us to lean on 24/7 your not alone my friend

Well done on pulling through you are awesome