enpointe

It's been over two years since I've been here and I'm still struggling to stay sober more than two days at a time. I'm in the process of losing another job I'm unreliable and hungover most of the time. This isn't fun anymore and I'm trapped in a viscous cycle and I want out. My husband uses and we aren't very good support for each other I'm afraid.
The reason I don't stay dry more than a few days is the withdrawals are intense and it scares me. And then I figure I might as well drink so I can still least function. Two years have gone by and it's still a problem and it's even worse. I hate myself and what I've become and everything I've worked for is destroyed.
I don't know if there's any sort of hope for me I've almost given up on trying but then I remembered this place and so here I am. I'm getting near the desperate stage and can't go on like this.

Coldfusion

Thanks for coming back, Enpointe!

When I was in a similar situation, I found a no-cost detox program where I stayed a week. I was so distracted by the discomforts of the surroundings that I forgot about withdrawal (also I was prescribed Ativan). I followed up with ninety AA meetings in ninety days, and am still sober two years later.

Read around and post often--there's a lot you've been missing!

suki44883

Welcome back, enpointe. I'm sorry to know you are still struggling so. Have you considered inpatient treatment? Living with an active user makes it that much harder for you to get and stay sober. Maybe some time away in a detox then rehab facility would give you the help you need and some time away where all you have to worry about it your own well-being.

MelindaFlowers

You can do this. I joined in 2010 and got sober June of 2014. Sober life is way better. I put it off way too long. You can do this.

Notmyrealname

Don't lose hope. I also spent years oscillating between drunk and sick from drinking, it took me a long time to come around, but one day I steeled myself and faced the withdrawals music for that 5-7 day period, got through that and realized it's a lot smoother sailing on the other side of the storm.

I still fell off the wagon pretty often for awhile but I got better at getting better, just kept working at it. You can do it. I know it can seem discouraging but take it in small steps. That first few days of withdrawals is the suck though, I'm with you.

muddywaters

I quit Nov. 14th after 10 long years. It's the best decision I've ever made.

You can do it!!!!!!!! Get some professional help and detox.

strategery

Welcome back Enpointe! I am glad you're here. Similar to what Coldfusion mentioned, I would look into detox if you are going through intense withdrawals after quitting for a couple of days. Please look into what options are available to you. You can change things around this year and get sober. *hugs*

wpainterw

The withdrawal is the price you pay for getting out of this. The good news is that science can help with this. Not that it's easy. It isn't. But it's worth it. Let's say it again: IT'S WORTH IT Get medical help and then hunker down to toughing it out for three or four days. Sometimes a few more than that. And, once you get of the tunnel, be extra careful because that's the most dangerous time of all. When you start to feel good and as time passes your AV persuades you that one little glass of wine, etc. won't hurt and soon you're back on the slippery slope again and each time this happens it gets tougher to break free of the slavery, for that's what it is, slavery. You've got a choice. Stopping it before it gets worse or - well I hope you know the alternative. Good luck. Keep posting here. Lots of folks here who have been just where you are right now

W.

Briar

For me it took being at that desperate stage. I was so physically and mentally sick, I knew I couldn't go on like that. There was absolutely no way to make it work at that point.

mistory5

Detox and rehab... you need a head start.

JanieJ

Also, on top of detox and rehab, you might wish to read up on dealing with cravings and also about alcoholism being a progressive disease and what it does to your mind and body.

You can do this -like you, I also wanted to quit for about six or seven years, before I bit the bullet and decided that enough was enough.

Don't give up

Hugs to you, enpointe (((()))))

zeppodog

Many alcoholics keep drinking to avoid being sick and help getting to sleep, it's only natural for a person to want to avoid withdrawals. Making a serious commitment to change your life could mean treatment if tapering off just isn't working for you. There is no easy way to quit a bad habit. I'm kinda rambling, can't sleep and thinking about drinking so posting here helps, helps a lot. I'm long over withdrawals but sometime the craving to drink off my troubles and just forget for a while are overwhelming. just hang in there, eventually things will get better, think I'll go walk my dog and tell my AV to shut up.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, enpointe.

You can absolutely do this.

You don't need to suffer through horrendous withdrawals. The ER and your doctor can help you through this and get you over this initial hump.

Glad that you are 'back'. Remember, SR is here for you 24/7/365.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk Enpointe

Ruby2

Hi enpointe. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm in the detox followed by inpatient treatment crew here. That's what I did when I couldn't string two days together and my life was crumbling around me. Detox wasn't painful when I took that route and I got a kick start on having a month sober. I followed that up by doing ninety AA meetings in ninety days.

My husband is also an alcoholic and we were separated at the time I went to detox. It's hard when your partner is also using. Does he want to quit as well?

You are not worthless. You can do this. It took me a long time to get any sober time.

Jsbodhi

It can be really scary, but you can do it.
Glad to see you here and I look forward to following your progress

enpointe

Im embarrsed to admit that I did go to detox about a year ago but left after 2 days. i thought I was going crazy and thats what keeps me drinking is im scared of withdrawal. Basically from what i see here it comes down to willpower which is something I seem to lack. My husband drinks but he can take it or leave it his drug is opiates and thats another thing I cant get off of. its the willpower again. this isnt the way it was supposed to be.

zeppodog

Getting thru the withdrawals is tough and the cravings can come back again even months or years later, but you just get sick of being sick. You'll get a lot of support here. good luck, stay strong.

Hawkeye13

If you are really ready to commit to quitting it can be done.
I understand about the scary feelings with withdrawal, so here is a way to start:

First step is to get to your doctor and come clean and tell him you need some help with quitting.

If inpatient is at all an option, that would be best, but if you can't do that, the doctor can help you with some medication for detoxing safely and examine you before as it can be dangerous to try to do on your own.

You need some kind of "face support" such as AA or Women for Sobriety so research what kind of meetings are there in your area and get to some meetings even if you are still drinking.
You need a network of sober people to help you especially if your husband has addiction issues of his own.

What do you mean by "in the process of losing your job"?
Is it lost, or can you possibly save it by showing up to work, etc. and turning it around?

If lost, OK, use that free time to get through detox and find another after.
If not lost, and you really need it, try to support yourself with good food, adequate sleep, and do your best to do some damage control.

Facing your situation honestly is perhaps the most empowering thing you can do right now.
I had to do the same thing several years ago, and by starting where I was and not drinking one day at a time despite my discomfort and desire, I gradually got control of my sobriety and my life.

It is so frightening there where you are now but there is hope.
You can stop, you can change your situation, and write a better chapter for the next year of your life.

Posting and reading here daily really helps--keep coming back and good luck

queendean

Do you any recommendations for sober living facilities?