A very good Xmas!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 537
A very good Xmas!
In fact by far the best I've ever had with RAH! It was so nice spending the day with a sober husband, who was involved, engaged, happy and full of enjoyment. So nice.
We spent time with my family and his.
His family are big "functional" drinkers. Usually RAH would be leading ten charge, and be drunk by midday, belligerent and not nice to be around.
Drinking started at 10am. By 12 RAH was saying he thought it was time to get off to my non drink drinking family. Usually he'd sit at my mums house not speaking or searching out the cooking wine!!! This year he cooked, laughed and was engaged in conversation! SHOCK!!!
Back to his family...by now they were drunk and getting antsy with each other. Cue time to start the fights. These would usually centre around RAH who his family have always blamed for all the tension in the family. This year he stayed well away from it all...and they fought anyway!
He said it was a bit bizarre for him...he had this sudden realisation just how futile and wasteful all his drinking years have been.
We came home, watched a movie and he thanked me for a wonderful Xmas!!!!
I've worked hard on detaching....and always tried to do this at Xmas time...tried to enjoy regardless of what RAh AH was up to....but it's so NICE not having to detach and instead engage with him.
He's only 4 months in so I know there is a long way to go.....but so far I'm enjoying this one day at a time business, and enjoying my recovering AH.
We spent time with my family and his.
His family are big "functional" drinkers. Usually RAH would be leading ten charge, and be drunk by midday, belligerent and not nice to be around.
Drinking started at 10am. By 12 RAH was saying he thought it was time to get off to my non drink drinking family. Usually he'd sit at my mums house not speaking or searching out the cooking wine!!! This year he cooked, laughed and was engaged in conversation! SHOCK!!!
Back to his family...by now they were drunk and getting antsy with each other. Cue time to start the fights. These would usually centre around RAH who his family have always blamed for all the tension in the family. This year he stayed well away from it all...and they fought anyway!
He said it was a bit bizarre for him...he had this sudden realisation just how futile and wasteful all his drinking years have been.
We came home, watched a movie and he thanked me for a wonderful Xmas!!!!
I've worked hard on detaching....and always tried to do this at Xmas time...tried to enjoy regardless of what RAh AH was up to....but it's so NICE not having to detach and instead engage with him.
He's only 4 months in so I know there is a long way to go.....but so far I'm enjoying this one day at a time business, and enjoying my recovering AH.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Thanks so much, Jarp for the "upper" bobbing in the middle of a sea of "downer" stories about others' Christmasses that turned into train wrecks with their still drinking/using mates.
So nice to see examples sometimes of a program working well!!!
So nice to see examples sometimes of a program working well!!!
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