Where is the bottom?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: new york
Posts: 49
Where is the bottom?
I have always imagined that hitting rock bottom for an alcoholic was supposed to include crashing a car and injuring yourself or others, or losing your family after years of disappointment, or perhaps losing your job upon showing up drunk and insulting a coworker.
Im not there. I have hurt people i love by saying stupid stuff or acting stupidly while drunk. So far they have forgiven me. I crashed my car and no one got hurt. I was also arrested once and taken to the hospital on a different occasion for public intoxication. I have cheated on my gf, argued with my dad while drunk, and said mean things to him.
I have made my gf cry and my parents worry. And somehow i believe it can be much more worse. I have heard stories. Im afraid because each new bottom hurts more. I dont want to fall deeper. But i keep wondering: is it possible to get out before hitting a real hard rock bottom?
Im not there. I have hurt people i love by saying stupid stuff or acting stupidly while drunk. So far they have forgiven me. I crashed my car and no one got hurt. I was also arrested once and taken to the hospital on a different occasion for public intoxication. I have cheated on my gf, argued with my dad while drunk, and said mean things to him.
I have made my gf cry and my parents worry. And somehow i believe it can be much more worse. I have heard stories. Im afraid because each new bottom hurts more. I dont want to fall deeper. But i keep wondering: is it possible to get out before hitting a real hard rock bottom?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Yes it is possible to get out before death. Gotta want it and put in the footwork.
Take the actions out of the equation and look at the emotional and mental state. Could very well be worse off than those that lost much more.
Take the actions out of the equation and look at the emotional and mental state. Could very well be worse off than those that lost much more.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Here's the thing about bottoms: No matter how low you go there is always a lower level, and another lower level...
So, why wait to figure out how low your bottom is? My bottom didn't include wrecks or arrests or lost jobs... but it was low enough for me.
It's a gamble...
I say quit while you're ahead.
So, why wait to figure out how low your bottom is? My bottom didn't include wrecks or arrests or lost jobs... but it was low enough for me.
It's a gamble...
I say quit while you're ahead.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Yeap it is possible, I thankfully got off the alcohol train before that car crash, before loosing that job, relationship breakup, financial problems.
Alcohol was causing problems in my life, but I was "functioning" which would have eventually spiralled, not many people new the extent of the problem, to the point that when I quit not many noticed the difference, most of my drinking was done at home, alone on my sofa and I simply disposed of the countless empty bottles of liqueur a few times a week.
We don't have to let the train crash, we can get off a few stops earlier, why remain living in a burning house, the sensible thing to do would be to get out while you can!!
Alcohol was causing problems in my life, but I was "functioning" which would have eventually spiralled, not many people new the extent of the problem, to the point that when I quit not many noticed the difference, most of my drinking was done at home, alone on my sofa and I simply disposed of the countless empty bottles of liqueur a few times a week.
We don't have to let the train crash, we can get off a few stops earlier, why remain living in a burning house, the sensible thing to do would be to get out while you can!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi riig. We love thinking about bottoms, don't we?
This was an interesting thread about similar questions:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...make-work.html
To be brief, yes I think it can get worse and probably will if you don't do anything about it. Why to wait even a single day?
This was an interesting thread about similar questions:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...make-work.html
To be brief, yes I think it can get worse and probably will if you don't do anything about it. Why to wait even a single day?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
rock bottom is a metaphor.
-what it represents is the actual time of decision. you could make this decision after driving a flaming car off a bridge. you could make it after waking up with nausea and headache (many folks do just this!).
its up to us ultimately.
those that tell you things HAVE to be a complete horror story before you GET IT are passing on the equivalent of an old wives tale.-usually to make themselves feel better.
-what it represents is the actual time of decision. you could make this decision after driving a flaming car off a bridge. you could make it after waking up with nausea and headache (many folks do just this!).
its up to us ultimately.
those that tell you things HAVE to be a complete horror story before you GET IT are passing on the equivalent of an old wives tale.-usually to make themselves feel better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Ask yourself whether the way you are currently living your life is the life you want. So your family has forgiven you and no one was injured in the accident. This time. I didn't want to test fate. Just how far can I go before I really cpuldn't undo the damage?
I never got arrested or crashed my car but I sure did a lot of damage to my self respect. We all have choices to make. I chose sobriety. Do you choose to quit or risk hurting more people with your words and actions? Hurting yourself? Your bottom is where you want it to be and not what soneone else says it is.
I never got arrested or crashed my car but I sure did a lot of damage to my self respect. We all have choices to make. I chose sobriety. Do you choose to quit or risk hurting more people with your words and actions? Hurting yourself? Your bottom is where you want it to be and not what soneone else says it is.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Sure it is, stop drinking.
I hit bottom and bounced so many times it's not funny. Always rebounded, though and was back to my old ways in short order.
Sounds like you've had some pretty bad experiences with alcohol. So did I, but with me it was a personal bottom within myself.
The fear, anxiety and self-loathing after a bender were horrific. Even a scary physical withdrawal. Never stopped me. Never wrecked my car, no DUI, never hurt anyone, except myself.
That's what made me stop. I was hurting myself, not anyone else, and ruining my life.
The way I lived at the end was a nightmare. Finally I decided to quit. It took help, but I did it and I did it for myself.
I had to save myself so I didn't have to reach the extremes of jail, an institution or death, and that's where I was headed.
I hope you can quit before things get worse, and in my case they did. I needed self esteem. I had none while drinking. I was a hollow, self centered drunk.
I hope you can quit. If you do, you'll never have to drunkenly hurt yourself or anyone else.
Best to you.
I hit bottom and bounced so many times it's not funny. Always rebounded, though and was back to my old ways in short order.
Sounds like you've had some pretty bad experiences with alcohol. So did I, but with me it was a personal bottom within myself.
The fear, anxiety and self-loathing after a bender were horrific. Even a scary physical withdrawal. Never stopped me. Never wrecked my car, no DUI, never hurt anyone, except myself.
That's what made me stop. I was hurting myself, not anyone else, and ruining my life.
The way I lived at the end was a nightmare. Finally I decided to quit. It took help, but I did it and I did it for myself.
I had to save myself so I didn't have to reach the extremes of jail, an institution or death, and that's where I was headed.
I hope you can quit before things get worse, and in my case they did. I needed self esteem. I had none while drinking. I was a hollow, self centered drunk.
I hope you can quit. If you do, you'll never have to drunkenly hurt yourself or anyone else.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
What makes you think a lower bottom would help you stop drinking? I ask because I think it's an assumption we make and I'm not sure if it's true. I saw one study that suggested that it's easier to stop with a higher bottom because there is less guilt and despair. Higher guilt and despair (& a lower bottom) could be triggers to keep drinking. Plus, the more a person drinks, the more they strengthen the habit of drinking (and strengthen brain patterns of drinking).
I used to struggle a lot with thinking my bottom was too high. I stopped very early. I'm grateful that I chose to stop before I had major consequences.
When I was drinking, I had lots of obsessions, compulsions, and misery. My values changed drastically; I did some things that appall me. If I had drank for much longer, I assume I would have lost my marriage, life, and/or career.
A few years ago, I saw a quote that said, "Only an alcoholic would think that their bottom was not low enough." That quote resonated for me.
I've relapsed a few times, so I've quit a few times. To quit, I focus on what I don't like about drinking and what I like about sobriety (or good things I imagine about sobriety). I also think about what am I trying to get from drinking and how else can I meet that need. Going to meetings, posting here, and seeing a therapist have helped too.
Good luck! You can stop and get sober. Sobriety is so much better than drinking.
I used to struggle a lot with thinking my bottom was too high. I stopped very early. I'm grateful that I chose to stop before I had major consequences.
When I was drinking, I had lots of obsessions, compulsions, and misery. My values changed drastically; I did some things that appall me. If I had drank for much longer, I assume I would have lost my marriage, life, and/or career.
A few years ago, I saw a quote that said, "Only an alcoholic would think that their bottom was not low enough." That quote resonated for me.
I've relapsed a few times, so I've quit a few times. To quit, I focus on what I don't like about drinking and what I like about sobriety (or good things I imagine about sobriety). I also think about what am I trying to get from drinking and how else can I meet that need. Going to meetings, posting here, and seeing a therapist have helped too.
Good luck! You can stop and get sober. Sobriety is so much better than drinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: new york
Posts: 49
Thanks all for your answers. I always feel my bottom is low, but i eventually fall to an even lower place. That is why i was wondering about bottoms. I guess i thought there was one bottom that was so low that eventually would make me drop the habit forever. But of course i do not want to get there! Today is just day 2 for me and im still picking up the pieces from my last wreck. I did blackout a few hours so im still trying to find out how bad it was. At best i just embarrassed myself at a party and/or hit on a random girl. Still i feel so bad that i could easily believe this is the bottom for me. However, having been at this point several times in the past i fear that i will have to fall deeper before i stop acting so stupidly.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
My bottom was not dramatic, I didn't have a DUI and wasn't living on the street...what I did have was stomach pains, a healthy dose of disgust for my lifestyle, and a weariness for the whole getting drunk/hangover thing.
You can do this, and you can do it now.
You can do this, and you can do it now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
i think rock bottom for any one is where you never want to go or become.
Me,,, it would be homeless by losing my family.
also hurting some one in a auto wreck. then going to prison. i worked at one, and seen what people do to one another in prison and it is not nice, especially at night time.
i often use these fears to help stop me drinking when i really get the urge.
Me,,, it would be homeless by losing my family.
also hurting some one in a auto wreck. then going to prison. i worked at one, and seen what people do to one another in prison and it is not nice, especially at night time.
i often use these fears to help stop me drinking when i really get the urge.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
the thing that stands out to me is how the rock bottom idea is now becoming a thing of the past as people seem able to give up these days at much higher levels
it is so strange for me to think that people give up drinking when they havent been to prison, or they havent lost there job or there family hasnt given up pn them and they end up on there own
just what has drink really done to these types of people for it to be a problem ?
they say you have to give up drink for yourself, but to me people seem to give up so they can save themselves from a loss like wife going or whatever so even that idea that you have to give up for youself seems to be changing these days
aa got its reputation on saving incurable cases, the ones were the drs would of given up on them as there was no hope
aa has progressed a lot as most of the meetings have people who have gave up before all the disasters happens to them
but there are stil a few very low bottom drunks who still make it out of the madness
so i get confused myself on this issue as i am sure others would be confused as to why the hell i didnt do something about my own drinking before i lost it all
all i can say is the drink had me in its grip, i had tried and tried to stop drinking and never could on my own i might got a few days or even weeks but when i would pick up again i would carry on from were i left off
the more you lose the more you need to drink to try to help you cope until its the only thing left in the world you have
then it stops working, it stops hiding the pain, i would drink to try to pass out as its the only way i could find any peace was being asleep only to wake up in the morning and reach out for another drink and get drunk all over again
there is clearly huge differences between what the drink did to me compared to others
but you can bet i wish that i was one of the drunks who gave up before all the bad happened to me
my story is more like a warning to people that if they drank like me ie took a drink and would get drunk and do silly things, then one day it will progress and the silly things will become more serious
you will have to hide away from people as you can not face them, but if you put a drink inside you then you can face people and probelry end up drunk again and do it all over again
total madness this illness is but i hope more and more people give up sooner rather than join my club
it is so strange for me to think that people give up drinking when they havent been to prison, or they havent lost there job or there family hasnt given up pn them and they end up on there own
just what has drink really done to these types of people for it to be a problem ?
they say you have to give up drink for yourself, but to me people seem to give up so they can save themselves from a loss like wife going or whatever so even that idea that you have to give up for youself seems to be changing these days
aa got its reputation on saving incurable cases, the ones were the drs would of given up on them as there was no hope
aa has progressed a lot as most of the meetings have people who have gave up before all the disasters happens to them
but there are stil a few very low bottom drunks who still make it out of the madness
so i get confused myself on this issue as i am sure others would be confused as to why the hell i didnt do something about my own drinking before i lost it all
all i can say is the drink had me in its grip, i had tried and tried to stop drinking and never could on my own i might got a few days or even weeks but when i would pick up again i would carry on from were i left off
the more you lose the more you need to drink to try to help you cope until its the only thing left in the world you have
then it stops working, it stops hiding the pain, i would drink to try to pass out as its the only way i could find any peace was being asleep only to wake up in the morning and reach out for another drink and get drunk all over again
there is clearly huge differences between what the drink did to me compared to others
but you can bet i wish that i was one of the drunks who gave up before all the bad happened to me
my story is more like a warning to people that if they drank like me ie took a drink and would get drunk and do silly things, then one day it will progress and the silly things will become more serious
you will have to hide away from people as you can not face them, but if you put a drink inside you then you can face people and probelry end up drunk again and do it all over again
total madness this illness is but i hope more and more people give up sooner rather than join my club
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