Chrislw75

Hi everyone. I've been perusing these forums for awhile now and have yet to register until today. I've been struggling with my sobriety for about two years now and have steadily and progressively gotten worse. On Thanksgiving night, I admitted myself to the emergency room knowing I would admit to my self-medicating with high hopes that I would receive unbiased help. As I confessed to my use, the doctor asked me simply and quite uncaring if I wanted to quit. I was there for 30 minutes, he sent me home with a prescription for Librium and told me to stop drinking. HA! Wow, great work doc. I stayed sober for 3 days and went right back to using alcohol(vodka specifically) to get through each day. Fast forward to 2 nights ago. A quick background, my children are spending the holiday with their father so I took it upon myself to stock up on "goodies". I was drunk and drunk fast. The funny thing is that I remember when I used to drink for fun and got off on the buzz and the numbness. Drinking used to be a great time for me. Plus, I'd only need about 2-3 glasses of wine to "feel good". That is certainly not the case now. I typically drink anywhere from 14-20 units a day and I'm not a big girl. I typically black out each and everytime because I drink fast and a lot. Back to two nights ago. I was finishing my last bit of vodka and suddenly found myself researching "how can I kill myself and it look like an accident". I don't care how drunk I was, I even realized that death can't possibly an option. I called my best friend, that doesn't even know I drink and asked her to take me to detox. I had a BAC of .276. Not to mention I had fallen down in front of her just trying to get out of the door. The Detox center was extremely helpful but after a few hours of counseling we decided to do outpatient therapy as my fiancé is home for the next 4 days. I was sent home with local resources, three referrals and strict instructions on how to ensure success and of course, was told that this is all within me regardless of which avenue I take. I know this to be true. So, to sum it up, I'm on day 2. My last drink was 12/23 at 9pm. It's a small feat but I haven't even had a single sober day in over a year. I'm sorry if this post is all over the place but I want to be accountable and this seems like a really helpful place to be. Merry Christmas to everyone! Thanks for listening.
Chris

Weasel1966

Welcome to SR Chris! As you know from your lurking this is a great place to find help and answers to questions as you forge your way to a sober life. It can be done. Sobriety is for everyone that wants it.

Get that treatment. Put a plan together. Post often. Execute on that plan.

Welcome and happy holidays!

Ken

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Chris, to SR. This is a great place for support, understanding and encouragement; glad you found us.

Congratulations on Day 2 and your decision to stop drinking.

When do you start outpatient treatment?

Chrislw75

I go in tomorrow at 2:00 to set up the "game plan" so to speak. This all new to me so I'm not sure what to expect. I'm currently on a few medications to keep myself from having severe withdrawals. (I'm already hypertensive) Luckily, albeit completely sad, my kids are with their Dad until the 4th which gives me ample time to focus on my recovery.

Strength123

Well done chris. Take each day as it comes. Right now, you're doing great. Keep it up and enjoy the day.

All the best

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Chris!!

BernieE

What a wonderful Christmas present to yourself and to your children! Welcome!

SoberLeigh

One of the great things about SR is that it is 24/7/365. There is always someone here who cares and truly wants to see you succeed.

hayley86

Welcome! Glad you've joined us. Best wishes.