callmemilly

Is it normal to be scared that I can't cope without drinking? To feel like it's the only thing I have? To feel like I don't know if I can give it up, or if I want to?

Is it normal to feel like that and still get help?

I could get help from a substance abuse program, it's not an inpatient program, but it is a very good and comprehensive program. I have a referral that I could use. I got it 6 months ago, but I feel like I have to be ready, I have to be sure, and I'm not and now feel like maybe I should anyway.

Bc increasingly I can't have just one drink. I want to drink many days. I control it then binge drink.

I'm very depressed, very isolated. This has been a lifelong problem, but is much worse right now. So the thought of the drinking getting worse in the midst of that scares me. But I feel like- getting help to not drink won't help with the isolation/depression, it will just make it more unbearable.

I've been in therapy before, (abuse victim) I think it's helped me as much as it's going to.

I just wonder if it's normal to be scared or unsure or ambivalent or feel like it's all I have. And still try to get help.

SoberLeigh

I think that it is normal to experience some apprehension, or fear, of the unknown.

When we have used alcohol or substances as a coping tool, it is hard to imagine coping with life without it.

When it comes to alcohol and depression/anxiety, one seems to fuel and aggravate the other and we can find ourselves in a vicious cycle.

It might be wise and beneficial to address both your alcoholism and your depression, simultaneously. Have you spoken to your doctor about both of these matters?

Does the substance abuse program you mentioned include counseling; will it address your depression or provide you with referrals for counseling.

PurpleKnight

Of course it is, I took a leap of faith one Saturday afternoon to try out not drinking, didn't have a clue how it was going to pan out, how would I cope? what about my friends? the list of questions in my head was a scary prospect.

But I clung onto all those people here on SR that kept telling me everything would be all right, surely they all can't be wrong? . . . and guess what? everything worked out in the end!!

The first step is a scary one, but what's the alternative? I kept telling myself, go back to the life that once upon a time brought me to the doors of SR, or try something different, what's the worst that can happen?

You can do this, you really can!! SR is in your corner!!

Inchworm

I was scared that my life sober would be more painful Than it was drunk. I'm finding that the pain is much more tolerable sober. In fact, most days I'm just damn delighted with my life. There are some rough spots but I have joy in the knowledge that I will get through them.

least

Being scared is normal. After all, giving up drinking is a big lifestyle change and will take some getting used to. If you have access to help to stop drinking, by all means use it. It's hard at first but it gets easier and better with more sober time.

Anna

Yes, Emily, it's normal to be scared. I was so afraid that I would never be able to cope with anything. But, you learn that it's the disease that is making you think this way. Of course, you will be able to cope and deal with life. It won't be easy but you will be able to do it.

OklaBH

Lord yes I was scared. I hung on as long as I could. A few days or weeks to prove I "could" do it if I "had to" Do you know what is really crazy? I am now scared to death of my life ever being that way again. I shudder when I think of relapsing. Get sober. It really is worth it

Soberwolf

Yes !!! i thought all sorts like id be a hermit etc .. how wrong was I ...i was badly wrong life is awesome sober

Its definatly normal to be scared in fact the fear exposes the addiction you know

know you can do this and good luck

Impurrfect

IMO, yes, it's normal to feel scared.

I had drank/used/abused for so long, I had no clue as to the person I was before all that.

What I've found in recovery is that, not only have I rediscovered things I love, I am a better person because of what I went through.

I hope you keep reading and posting - you are among friends who get it

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

InMyBlood

One of my biggest fears after each of my relapses has been that I can't live my life sober-that I'll be boring and my sense of humor will be gone and that I'll have to feel again, and that scared me. Loneliness terrified me, but after the first few sober days I realize that I've never been as lonely as I am when I'm drinking. That life is a horrible one for me. And once it sinks in that biologically and emotionally I'm just not built as a person who can have a drink and stop, the most amazing calm settles in. I'm only 4 days sober this time, but I'm looking forward to a sober holiday, and I hope this helps you!

Hevyn

I agree with the others. I was definitely terrified to let go - I thought it was helping me cope. In the end, it did just the opposite. My misery and anxiety was through the roof. You won't be missing a thing, we promise.

Ruby2

Yes. I was scared. Drinking was such an integral part of how I defined myself and coped with everything that NOT drinking seemed akin to amputating an arm. How would I survive? I did. It wasn't easy but I managed.

Don't confuse treatment for a complete cure for drinking. Just because people go to treatment doesn't mean they automatically stop drinking. You always have a choice so if you are scared but willing to see what sober is like, it's an awesome start to learning how to live sober. It's a jump start. It's only the beginning. Much of the work happens after treatment. After treatment it's up to the person to continue onwards or not.

Hevyn

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fini

I just wonder if it's normal to be scared or unsure or ambivalent or feel like it's all I have. And still try to get help.

yes, totally normal to be scared and ambivalent and want to get help and then want to pull back and run away and....

i was terrified. i had no idea of how i'd be, or who i'd be without drink.
here i am, and just by chance i checked and i have, right now, 3000 days.

get help. we don't feel we need and want help when we're doing okay.
it's what help is for, to go and get it

fini

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Hereandnow2

I felt like I could not live without it bc I relied on it to have fun, handle stress, celebrate, ect. Six months in everything has changed. I still miss it at times but for the most part, I am much happier. My anxiety for the past 15 years is gone, I have sober friends and most of all proud of myself and am guilt free.

Dee74

I was terrified - my drinking defined me, callmemilly.

I had no idea how to live without it...But I learned. It was ok
I think anyone can ask for help, and get it.

If an inner voice is telling you you don't qualify for help, that voice is very much mistaken

D

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here! Welcome to scared island

Most of us got to that point of couldn't imagine life with OR without alcohol any longer. That's a scary fear filled place.

Good news though - in a short time that level of fear will turn to peace
My only fear now is I will wake up one day and the gifts of sobriety will have only been a dream.

Peace and Joy are waiting for you - drop the rock ( fear ) and swim to the boat - we'll pull you up

Kind Regards
FlyN

Shellshocked444

My god. I am terrified. Spending Christmas with my sister. She has a son and I do we are 42 and 49??? So many deep breaths!!!

Shellshocked444

Thanks for all of you for not deleting me.