Is it typical?

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Old 12-23-2014, 12:06 PM
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Is it typical?

Is it typical for A's to throw their promises and/or boundaries out the window any time it suits them?

My ex asked his ex to leave him alone. Then he reached out to her on her birthday.
He dumped me and asked me the same thing, but has tried to establish contact (read my thread "he denied it"). He always has to have the upper hand, the final word....


Is this type of behavior typical of A's?
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Old 12-23-2014, 12:18 PM
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i think we have a tendancy to BLAME the disease for a lot of what is really just generally crappy behavior. some people are just jerks, drunk or sober. some people think they are the center of the universe, and have absolutely NO respect for boundaries.

it will be up to YOU to prevent further contact. if that's what you want. he won't - he has and will continue to do whatever stupid thing flits thru his brain. he runs on impulse and does whatever suits him in the moment.
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Old 12-23-2014, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
i think we have a tendancy to BLAME the disease for a lot of what is really just generally crappy behavior. some people are just jerks, drunk or sober. some people think they are the center of the universe, and have absolutely NO respect for boundaries.

it will be up to YOU to prevent further contact. if that's what you want. he won't - he has and will continue to do whatever stupid thing flits thru his brain. he runs on impulse and does whatever suits him in the moment.
Yes, Anvil. I blocked him same day he contacted me.
I was just wondering if him violating his own words/boundaries had anything to do with alcoholism or not.

The pattern in him is obvious to me now. I definitely don't wish to have him in my life anymore, even if it still hurts to say goodbye to my first love experience.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:01 PM
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While I generally agree with Anvil, I would says yes, yes, it's typical. Addiction tends to make people selfish, and promises and boundaries are valid only as long as they serve the addict's purposes.
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:26 PM
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Well, thank you thank you thank you, lillamy.
I've went to get a new number today because I think it's way better than just blocking him.... I wish him well but I cannot deal with his need for control nor his addiction.. I want to move on and well, this little steps make me feel a lot better. Thank-you!
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Old 12-23-2014, 02:22 PM
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Some "people" like to keep their options open. Meaning, keeping a couple of romantic interests on a string. That way if one becomes a buzz kill they can switch over to the other one, but they don't completely cut the string with the first one. Then they can bounce back and forth depending on who can enable them the most at any given time. Drugs/alcohol could play a part, but not always. And, like Anvil said, some people are just jerks...don't justify bad behavior by putting the blame on the use of alcohol/drugs.
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Old 12-23-2014, 02:33 PM
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Horrible behavior I must say..... thanks for your input.
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