Hendrix

I'm so frustrated - I should be feeling chuffed to bits having got 50 days under my belt but all I'm doing is falling out with everyone.

My anger feelings were subsiding - almost gone in fact then today..BANG!

I've argued with both teenage kids, my wife, the bloke over the road about the selfish way he parks his stupid car- even the dog's pissed me off!

My AV's telling me all would be calm with a little drinkie but I know damn well where that would lead - the thing is, drunken oblivion seems an attractive option today.

I've been feeling so positive recently and was actually looking forward to my first sober xmas - really don't know why it has to be like this!

And every time I stop drinking I get ill! Last time in the summer I did 2 weeks and ended up in hospital with gout knee. Now I've got a chest infection that leaves me breathless and exhausted just doing the slightest thing.

I'm whining aren't I?

Soberwolf

Hello Hendrix try to stay calm ive seen F it moments happen with others when they get upset/angry

Day 50 is seriously awesome Hendrix do not give in to AV your doing great

Bad days happen esp in early sobriety there will be testing days but you definatly can do this

I like your posts youve come a long way friend

SoberLeigh

Yes, feel chuffed. 50 days is fantastic, Hendrix.

Try not to let life's hassles derail you; they are insignificant in the big picture. Stay focused on the goal - sobriety is good stuf.

Alwyshope12

Hendrix, great job on hitting 50 days! I'm right behind you with 45 days.

I have found that I have bad days and am starting to have some good days too. Getting through the anxiety and depression for me has been no easy road, but when I have glimpses of how today can feel, and I know that more and more days will feel better as I get further and further away from alcohol, I have great hope.

That does not make the tough days much easier when they are happening, but being able to see some progress, is a huge deal for me.

Keep it up!

OklaBH

I got real irritable to. Maybe talk to the doctor?

It does pass. Most important just remember that alcohol will make it worse.

mecanix

Just make it through today ,

It will be a new day tomorrow and things might look and seem different .

What have you done thats giving and charitable recently ? what have you done recently as a sobriety gift to yourself ?

How are you holding your body are you tense ? are you hot ? … why not relax unwind yourself , take a long cool shower or bath … roll your shoulders , unclench your jaw , uncurl your fists .. i found i had to think about doing these things to take myself off the boil .

Take care , m

BirdsAteMyFace

I can relate so much.

This time of year it's hard for me to tell if it's my alcoholism stressing me out, or just the general chaos of the holidays. All I DO know is that drinking would make it so much worse. If I was drunk, I would have no problem starting an argument with any neighbor who looked at me sideways.

Hendrix

Thanks for all your helpful responses folks - as it happened, just the act of writing and posting this seemed to help - made me realise what a twonk I was acting!

I was in complete chimp mode eh, Soberwolf Couldn't find a chimp emoticon so had to make do with a spider

I didn't want or need to be acting like that so I had a word with myself, apologised to all concerned (except the geezer over the road cos he was blissfully unaware I was cross anyway so it was a completely wasted emotion) and moved on with my day.

I'm beginning to feel a bit better man-flu wise and the fact that my blood pressure is now the lowest it's ever been just from not drinking means that I won't have to take anti-hypertensive drugs after all!

Once again - the simple act of posting and reading here has changed, for the better, the whole way I feel and helped to preserve my new found, precious and ever growing sobriety.

Thanks again..

Oh and BirdsAteMyFace,

.......did they?

Soberwolf

Way to go Hendrix what a post !! I let my chimp go a bit in the early days and had some of the exact same things their learving curves

Exellent post bud

And i hope you get well soon Hendrix

Sasha4

You have a wife?
Kids?
You have a dog?
Ad its christmas eve tomorrow!!!

You are so lucky!

FreeOwl

Yeah yer whining a bit but its better to whine and acknowledge the feelings and the challenges than to try and stuff Em or run away from Em.

You did great!

These days happen, these feelings come and go. Ups and downs are part of life and they're sobriety you get under your feet the more able you'll find yourself to ride the ups and downs with peace.

You're gonna be OK. Keep on the sober path, keep sharing when you need to, ride it out.

It gets better and better.

Nuudawn

Just this morning I was thinking bout that old saying "blowing off some steam" with respect to drunken antics.

In sobriety, we need new ways to blow off steam. I mean we really need to make a concerted effort to do so in healthy ways...before the lid blows ya know?

I have dealt with a tremendous amount of anger and irritation in my sobriety and it seems my efforts to decompress via meditation, relaxation exercises and physical exercise has been spotty and inconsistent.

More and more I realize that I will not stay sober if I do not get new disciplines down to a freaking science.

PurpleKnight

Hang in there!! Day 50 is fantastic!!

ubntubnt

Haha, I enjoyed your post and yes you were whingeing. Fact is you are doing really great. Well done.

Anna

I think there are always going to be things that are annoying and aggravating, but you are learning to deal with those. As you said, coming here and writing about your anger helped you to feel better. Good for you!

neferkamichael

Hendrix, 50 days is so FANTASTIC, congratulations. Your AV is probably the biggest problem you have right now because it is a sneaky SOB and is gonna use every trick in the book including anger to try and get you to use. It'll take time for the AV too give up but it will, rootin for ya.

Impurrfect

Isn't it great how you could come here and whine and feel better afterward? Nothing like having people who get it to make you feel better

Congratulations on 50 days!!!

A friend of mine here mentioned it was better to be on the roller-coaster of recovery than the merry-go-round of addiction. Welcome to the roller-coaster, where there's always an up to balance out the downs

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Ruby2

Well done on 50 days and I'm glad you feel better. I'm coming late to this party but wanted to say that I went through periodic bouts early on of hating everyone and everything. I pushed through them. I was unpleasant for a bit but it passed. It still comes but less often or intense.

I really like what Mecanix said, a lot. He suggested something similar that I read a long while back now and use frequently - the sitting up straight and relaxing the shoulders. Deep breaths. Relax the jaw. I wanted to add a small smile. Crinkle the corners of your mouth up into a smile, close your eyes and take a deep breath. It feels good.

Hendrix

I know I am Sasha - but I think the superhuman effort of hanging on to this family while putting in all the time effort and money to maintain a daily drinking habit that would kill lesser mortals should not be under estimated

Hendrix

I think you've hit my nail squarely on the head there Dawn! Great food for thought. Without drinking away the frustrations and frictions caused by everyday life there's a risk that they can bottle up and boil over - I reckon that's where I was yesterday. Posting on here helps but when I'm physically well again I'll add some exercise to my days.