Returning
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ontario
Posts: 392
Returning
This time of year is always a challenge for me. I made it to one year of sobriety but then gradually slipped back into drinking too much. Tonight is my first night sober in a while. I don’t feel good about that. I don’t feel good about much of anything right now although I am trying. I am suffering from depression so I know that the drinking cannot be helping but it is so tempting to just escape from my feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. I don’t know if I am ready to quit again, but I am sober tonight and that could be the start of something. I need a change. Drinking is preventing me from feeling my feelings and reaching out for help. I need support and so I am turning back to this lovely and supportive community. I need gentleness, strength, courage, and faith right now.
I miss feeling proud of myself and my accomplishments like I did when I was sober. I miss how lovingly I treated myself when I put my sobriety first. I have started feeling guilty, beating myself up, and obsessing over negative emotions and events. I don’t like the side of me that is coming out. I think my drinking is getting in the way of my emotional health.
Anyways, I think that being honest with myself and posting here is a good first step.
I miss feeling proud of myself and my accomplishments like I did when I was sober. I miss how lovingly I treated myself when I put my sobriety first. I have started feeling guilty, beating myself up, and obsessing over negative emotions and events. I don’t like the side of me that is coming out. I think my drinking is getting in the way of my emotional health.
Anyways, I think that being honest with myself and posting here is a good first step.
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