Rina

I am feeling blue. This is my first sober holidays and I have been working really hard on reaching out and going to lots of meetings but when I get home at night I am so very lonely. When I drank, I could self medicate it away. Now that I'm sober I am painfully aware how alone I am. I just have this yearning to cuddle with someone on the couch. I'm so lonely it hurts.

Dee74

It took me a while to be comfortable in my own company, Rina - and an equally long time to metamorphise from the hot mess I was to someone someone else would like to date.

If it's any consolation you seem to be doing really well on both fronts - much quicker than me.

Keep building that sober life Rina - have faith...all is well and you are where you need to be.

keep moving forward and you may be surprised when you are at Xmas 2015

D

venuscat

I can relate to feeling lonely right now Rina.
It is not my first sober holiday, but it is the first one as a single woman.
I think that us working on our sober life every day will make us stronger, and in a better place emotionally to find someone to cuddle when the time is right.
For now ~

V xx

Rina

I know I spent a lot of time with alcohol as my partner because I was too afraid of letting anybody in. It's going to take time. Just like everything else. It still is hard though.

ReadyAtLast

Sending you cyber hugs Rina

It's my first Christmas single though I take comfort in my sobriety. Whilst it can't cuddle me it does give comfort.

There is always someone here at SR to help you feel better when you're low. here's a group hug for anyone who needs it

Straightshoot

You have a beautiful name, Rina, a gorgeous avatar, so you must love flowers, and it sounds like to me a loving heart. Hopefully you won't spend too many more holidays alone. Take good care of yourself and keep the faith.

Rina

Thanks for the support! I need it tonight.

Tonks

Damn, that was well said. You even gave me goosebumps haha!

Fly N Buy

Rina,

Glad you're here !!!

Loneliness for Us is very common - even in a crowd of people. I will say that soon after sobriety (and getting a few phone numbers from group members in the rooms) there came a point where it was virtually gone.

Today even when I am by myself, I never feel alone. For me this came from working the program. Meditation and prayer has led me towards a peace I never knew existed.

Please keep the faith! Soon you'll get past this - keep posting here, friend

Kind Regards,
FlyN

Straightshoot

You are welcome Rina. And thank you Tonks! I am very fond of flowers for I play landscaper where I work. Bouganvilla are one of my favorites, and of course the Bird of Paradise.

CAPTAINZING2000

I'm comfortable enough with myself I'd rather be alone then to be in a miserable relationship again.

TopEndChick

Oh Rina, hugs to you. I am in the same boat, however I am lucky as I have arranged to spend xmas with a dear sober friend who never lets me feel lonely - even when I want to wallow she won't have it You're not alone here, that's for sure! Feel better soon.

Leshar

Hello Rina,

I do understand how you feel. I self medicated my grief. Alcohol became my partner too. I'm very lonely.
I miss human touch. I'm thinking of going for a massage after Christmas. Ever thought of that?
Sending you good wishes.

TopEndChick

Excellent point, thanks Captain. This time last year... toxic relationship *shudder*

If I was allowed a pet where I rent, I would have a dog in a flash.

I spend a fair bit of time alone, and I have realised that I'm not bad company! Predictable and calm, could be much worse. I know that doesn't help you right now, but this next tip might:

I have 2 cuddle pillows - one either side. Surprisingly soothing!

Rina

I'm so glad I posted this! I can feel the genuine show of affection from everyone! @Straightshoot-Bougainvillea's my favorite too! Though the thorns get me every time! @Leshar-a massage sounds nice. @Topendchick- I have 2 cuddle pillows too! @Captainzing2000-I remember how awful it is to feel alone in a relationship which is why it has been so long since I've been in one. I'm hopeful with more work on my recovery-I can finally love myself enough to find a true friend and partner in life. I believe it will come when I am ready for it.

starsnskies

Couldn't agree with you more with this statement. Thanks for the great reminder!!!!

mistory5

I know how you feel. The holidays make not have a mate feel worst, but I just think about it like I think of romantizing a drink. I'm fantasizing about what I think a great relationship feels like. I never been in one. Low self esteem, control/anger/ depression issues and alcohol all playedca huge role in messed up romantic relationships. I was just getting honest with myself today about this topic. I know down deep inside I have a lot to work through b4 God blesses me with my soul mate. Hang in there have faith that the more healthy / sober you get the right one will come along and you will be able to have a great relationship. I know that's how I'm dealing with it. Hang in there.

TopEndChick

Great Rina We've got through harder times than this. Mistory, as an active alcoholic for most of my adult life, None of my relationships had a chance. I am very fortunate to have a good support network so I am using my friends, in the nicest possible way. Because my good friends, well, that's what we do for each other. It's a beautiful thing

SoberComposer

I can definitely identify with this! So glad we all made the move for a better life

longenough

Rina, I can relate some, I had a wife and a lot of people in my life, but was completely alone. Once I cut ties with all of them and took on sobriety I really like being with me. Nothing to cloud or influence me or my judgement. I am slowly bringing in a few people, people I choose, having someone to cuddle with physically doesn't always mean you are not alone, at SR you are always surrounded by those willing to cuddle in the mental and spiritual way, the way to recovery.