story74

So, my x was a no show no call 2 weeks ago for visitation. He currently has 2 hours supervised visits a week. But, he disappeared for a year and a half. So, he knows what he is really entitled to. After the no call no show, I didn't hear from him for 5 days. I responded 5 days later with stricterr boundaries. I told where and when we will meet. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him for 2 weeks during the holiday because I want no drama. So, we can start up visits in Jan. I gave him a set time and place. I told him that I didn't want to speak about visitations anymore in front of our son. I told him that I supported his relationship with my son, but I am also protecting him.

I was so anxious sending the email because I knew he would flip. And he did.
His first email about the no show he said he was sorry and screwed up and it would never happen again. Then, his story changed and tonight he sent an email saying he had a flat tire and no cell phone. Lie. He is mad because he can't see his son until after the holidays. And told me that he will have shared custody real soon. He said I am holding his son from him and being vengeful.

I made a pact to myself to ignore his emails/calls. He messed up. I was about to ask him over for Xmas, and setting up times to see the Xmas lights together. But then he was a no call no show.
I am Confused about his anger as we always are. I am not in the least vengeful. In fact, after he disappeared I have been more than nice. This isn't about him or me, this is about my sons well being. My son needs more. And my son is such a good boy. The past 3 years I have been parenting alone. I have never refused visitations, but I have set boundries. So, now I have to deal with his temper tantrum.

I almost emailed him back. Almost. I was anxious, but I'm slowly starting to calm down. Fine. He wants to go see a lawyer...go do it. He defaulted on the divorce. He signed off on the current visitation . he is still living with a woman who is legally not allowed around our son. He is 4k behind on child support. He disappeared for a year and a half. Saw his son 1 time in 2 years. Oh, and was just a no call no show for a visit. I would love to see what the judge says.

All I can do is my best. If he is sober, then he deserves to see his son. But if he is still using his words are just that....clucking.

So, I am trying to ignore the clucking and anger and keep boundaries set. I am so sick of him doing what he wants when he wants. Butt head!

jjj111

Sorry to hear that things continue to be stressful! It does sound like you're a little angry, but I don't see anything wrong with that! You have every right! How many times has he actually seen his son in the past couple years? What do you think would happen if you just changed your number and/or blocked his? It does seem pretty tough on your son to have to keep going through this.

JOIE12

If he is using, he does not deserve to see his son. Your son will miss him perhaps but remember that he deserves what's 'best' in his life. I don't believe his father is.

story74

The hardest part is he keeps calling me. He doesn't have a cell, so he can't text. I refuse to answer him. Its really hard to ignore.