Donnylutz

I honestly don't know the last time I went 5 days without a drink. These 5 days have helped me mentally so much, it's amazing how you can think when you aren't full of drugs!

My reason for wanting to quit this time for real - has changed. Went to another meeting this morning, this one went well (yay!), and is making me examine everything over and over again. Initially I wanted to stop because I got a 4th chance at a great job, and unlike the other 3 times where my attendance sucked due to hangovers I lost the jobs, I am refusing to let that happen again. Now, 5 days in, I'm realizing that things go deeper.

I've had anxiety/panic issues for most of my life. I've been on numerous drugs and seen several therapists. Everything helps a bit, but not enough. Drinking helped a lot on the front end, but made me pay for it harshly while I was hungover.

Things I've learned -

I'm an alcoholic because when I drink I can't stop.

I drink because I've been self medicating for my anxiety, which has not been successfully treated.

So my game plan has changed. It was "Never drink again and do whatever it takes to never drink again" - that still exists, but I'm going deeper. The only reason I want to drink is to treat my anxiety.

So my new game plan - Going back to my Dr. today and made an appointment with an old psychologist I used to see for Monday. I have to finally battle my mental health to truly be healthy.

Self discovery rocks. Have a great weekend!!!!

Donny

Thepatman

Well done on your 5 days!

Have a super weekend as well Donny

SoberLeigh

Great post, Donny. We truly have to 'dig deep' in Recovery but it is worth the time and effort.

Power on!!!!

Soberwolf

Well done on day 5 Donny

& Have a great sober weekend

biminiblue

I've been "treated" for anxiety in the past, too. I'd say the best anxiety-fighter I've found is not drinking. It takes a while - like a few months - to have your central nervous system and brain act normally after removing alcohol.

Maybe give it a little time before trying medication, if possible. A baseline is a better place to start, and that won't be reached for at least a couple months. Exercise, a healthy diet, and 7-9 hours of sleep a night do wonders. Especially the exercise part - it's been proven to help with anxiety and depression - and I know it is enough for me now that I've been sober a while.

Donnylutz

I'm not sure no meds will work for me. Since I was 12 or so I've had social anxiety disorder with panic, and have emetophobia, a fear of vomiting (I'm very active on an emetophobia support forum, 99.9% of emetophobics would NEVER drink.......another example of how odd I am lol....I may be the only alcoholic emetophobic......It's like someone scared of spiders raising them in their house or someone scared of heights being a pilot lol). All of this existed long before I ever had a drop of alcohol, so my baseline without meds would be extremely difficult, especially when starting a new job in a few weeks. The good news is I have enough history with my anxiety that we know my baseline. I think my meds are good, I need to get back into therapy as well and maybe make some adjustments. My drunk mind kept me from the simple fact that I need to continue working on my anxiety......mental health doesn't get better on its own. Drinking turned it into a tital wave (I feel great, lets drink, now I'm hungover and my anxiety is at a horrible level, I need to drink, etc etc) Crazy thinking we can have huh?