Sotiredofitall

Its been a couple years of not posting. Doing lots of reading and continuing with frustration at home. Obviously I didn't stay with my boundary and the alcohol has continued (until recently) to be a problem for ME. Not my drinking as I do very little of that and always very aware of where/when. AH's drinking has waned and waxed. My resolve has done the same. Today I made my first step to get myself some help in dealing with what is out of my control. I'm going to my first Alanon meeting. Pretty anxious. I'm doing this for me. I don't have any idea of where to go from here and am hoping that I can gain some insight into myself that will lead to a more peaceful mind and heart. My husband (going on 37 years) is currently not drinking. Since I've seen that so many times before I'm very cautiously hopeful. When he actually gets help for his drinking I will be happy for him. Meanwhile I prepare for the potential life without him in it. It scares me. I sometimes find myself wanting that. I'm just so tired of the anxiety of living with an alcoholic.

lillamy

Congratulations on the decision to go to your first Al-Anon meeting! I was very nervous when I went to my first meeting as well, but I've stuck with it for nine years, so I guess you can say I overcame that nervousness.

The good news is that you don't have to know where you're going next week, next year, or ten years from now. You just need to know where to put your next footstep. And inside the doors of Al-Anon sounds like a good plan to me -- I can't even begin to describe how much those meetings and the program helped me.

Let us know how the meeting was -- and good for you for taking care of yourself, regardless of what your husband chooses to do.

hopeful4

Don't be nervous! Expect to be made to feel welcome. I am so glad you are getting face to face support!

Sotiredofitall

First meeting attended. I think I would have been more comfortable in a bigger group, but as they said there are no coincidences. Very accepting group, only three others there. I'll go a few more times before deciding if its the right group for me. Its a small town. I struggle with the strong God connection. Just gotta find the right HP for myself and be okay with it. Thanks for the support.