where are you at in your recovery?
where are you at in your recovery?
I'm 83 days strong. Its not been easy to say the least. I have continuing and progressive illness that is starting to become joyous experience. I'm relieved to know that there is a way out of this mess I've created for myself.this is something that has to be addressed on a daily basis. Its hard work! I can't forget about the times I sat alone consumed by denial,substitution,rationalization,justification, distrust of others, guilt, embarrassment,dereliction,degradation, isolation and the unmanageability. The 11 results my disease. Not one good thing!! At this point I could no longer fight. I accept the facts! I manipulated the truth. Believed bad was good, wrong was right and nonsense was good sense. There is now no reason to go back to such unheathly conditions after having some improvements. Changing my old ways of thinking plays a big part in my recovery. Every clean day is a successful day, NO MATTER how crappy my day turned out. I know in my heart the drugs have the power to turn me into something I never want to be again.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Apache Junction, AZ
Posts: 111
224 days today. Where I am at- a lot healthier mentally and physically, happily married, grateful for each day, renewed commitment to work and education, just better in so many ways.
Been having some hard days because of the time of year. Cravings, but I set small goals like staying sober for a week at a time.
Been having some hard days because of the time of year. Cravings, but I set small goals like staying sober for a week at a time.
I have know idea.
I don't count days. I'm sober today, so right now my answer is 1. Tomorrow I'll start over with a fresh 24 hours and I'll try to get to 1 again. That's all that matters to me, one day at a time.
Now, once upon a time I counted days, and I think I was around 3000 days sober and I screwed up. It was very depressing going back to 1.
If I got a calendar out right now and figured it out I know I would be somewhere in the 4 digits again. But I'm also one drink away from zero if I become complacent and think I'm cured because I have a whole bunch of sober days in a row.
I don't count days. I'm sober today, so right now my answer is 1. Tomorrow I'll start over with a fresh 24 hours and I'll try to get to 1 again. That's all that matters to me, one day at a time.
Now, once upon a time I counted days, and I think I was around 3000 days sober and I screwed up. It was very depressing going back to 1.
If I got a calendar out right now and figured it out I know I would be somewhere in the 4 digits again. But I'm also one drink away from zero if I become complacent and think I'm cured because I have a whole bunch of sober days in a row.
Your not way behind in reality all I have is today. Then when I wake up I have to make the decision all over again. Its a miracle we even have 1 day. Take pride in your 11 days. Stand tough, Stay strong.
14 days here and tied with my longest stretch. I've had a good couple of weeks but I'm not feeling great today. I literally keep telling my AV to **** off but that may not be the best way to handle the situation. lol I read some good threads here tonight though and I'm feeling a bit better. No way in hell am I drinking tonight. I'm about to go to bed and maybe tomorrow I'll wake up with rainbows and butterflies coming out of my ass again.
14 days here and tied with my longest stretch. I've had a good couple of weeks but I'm not feeling great today. I literally keep telling my AV to **** off but that may not be the best way to handle the situation. lol I read some good threads here tonight though and I'm feeling a bit better. No way in hell am I drinking tonight. I'm about to go to bed and maybe tomorrow I'll wake up with rainbows and butterflies coming out of my ass again.
At six months I don't actually think about, like as something I'm used to doing, anymore. I am officially out of the habit of drinking. Not drinking is my new norm.
On that note, there are still times when I feel like an alien living outside of my body a little bit. I am still experiencing some PAWS surprisingly.
However I am relieved that the simple habit of drinking is not there anymore. I used to be like a wolf to red meat, a starving wolf! Never thought I'd get to the point where an evening feels [I]normal[I] without alcohol.
I will admit that life seems a bit dull at times! But I'd take a bit dull over massive-dying-slowly-from-the-inside hangover!
On that note, there are still times when I feel like an alien living outside of my body a little bit. I am still experiencing some PAWS surprisingly.
However I am relieved that the simple habit of drinking is not there anymore. I used to be like a wolf to red meat, a starving wolf! Never thought I'd get to the point where an evening feels [I]normal[I] without alcohol.
I will admit that life seems a bit dull at times! But I'd take a bit dull over massive-dying-slowly-from-the-inside hangover!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)