Mrrryah1

So after a bad relapse and not having any sleep for approximately 48 hours, I made the decision to e-mail my HR department at work and ask for support and to know the policies around substance abuse.

Now they want to have a conference call with me today to discuss my e-mail, of course.

At the time I sent the e-mail, I was really sleep deprived, really depressed, a little crazy, etc. etc.

The e-mail didn't specifically say "I am an addict" but was asking for support and to know the policies around substance abuse.

I'm an AA person, and I really believe that AA is the solution to my problem, not going back to treatment or whatever they are probably going to ask me to do if I admit I am an addict. I just finished doing my step 5 and I believe I may have a new start at maintaining sobriety.

Now I'm freaking out and I have no idea what to say on this phone call. I feel like I shouldn't lie, but I also feel like I don't want to tell them I'm an addict and I'm asking for their help.

Why did I do that!??!?!?! UGH!!!!

SarahB60

HR is probably not the best place to ask about substance abuse support. If you have health insurance, there's usually substance abuse coverage in the policy. I would go that route instead of HR. HR works in the best interest of the company. I'm sure the call will be fine, take a deep breath and chose your words wisely.

desypete

if you try to think of what to say then you will be living in fear of it all, i understand to the worry behind it all but the only way to be is honest, that way you will not have to watch what you say

i think its against the law for companys to fire people so i dont think your job is at risk and i do know a few people who were honest with there bosses and it all went well for them

but even so look at it another way, imagine you tell them a pack of lies and get past this call, what will happen in a few weeks time if things havent changed for you ? they will be wondering what on earth is going on, and if you told them lies the first time then you might have to back track on them for the next time if that makes any sense ?

but its your call on this i only offer up a different way of seeing things

i do understand the fears that suround these types of things but for me even if it does cost me my job i know i would just have to be honest with people

what does your sponsor say ? as your sponsor will know you better than me and know where you at
so have a good honest chat with your sponsor first before you make you mind up ?

good luck to you

keithj

My personal experience is that my employer had an obligation to take action once my problem was brought to their attention. Once made aware, some action on their part had to be taken in order to protect themselves from liability. I talked to some folks in the management chain a few years after the fact to get an understanding of it. The scenario they try to protect themselves from goes like this:

Suppose I'm drunk on the job and have an accident that harms others. The company opens themselves to huge legal responsibility if they knew I had a problem and continued to either let me work or turn a blind eye to it. So, some action is necessary. In my case, that was referral to an employee assistance program. It became very clear to me that the EAP was there as a demonstrable action on the company's part, more so than to actually assist the employee. Not that they weren't helpful and supportive, but their primary function was to demonstrate that the company was addressing a known issue. It was a cover their butt action.

You can always be honest and say that you are concerned about your well being and wanted to know what support and benefits were available should that become an issue for you.

Aellyce

Are you currently working normally? Have you had any work-related problems recently?

First of all, don't do the call today, wait a little. They can't push you to talk immediately.

It depends what happened on your job and what exactly you said in the email. If you did not talk about your having a current problem, I think you can remain diplomatic during the call and say you were just interested in knowing the options the company might have. Thank for the information politely and cut it as short as possible. Of course that might be difficult given the anxiety, but that's another reason why to be as brief as possible. If you were not caught intoxicated on the job, made mistakes on the job, or missed work recently, I don't think they can do anything to harm you.

Or could you just send another email to HR saying thank you but you no longer need the information and leave it at that? Again, if there were no problems at work, I don't think they could take it further.

Keep in mind though that you seem to be having serial relapses and after such an email/call, your employer is likely to keep an eye on you for a while. This means, you would need to work on your recovery more than ever, which may not be a bad thing after all.

I hope it turns out well, it's certainly a stressful thing to deal with. Hang in there.

Jupiters

I came clean to my work in May. At the time, I felt I really had no option as I was in a heap of trouble and it had been affecting my work (they knew something was up, they just couldn't ask outright)...some days I regret it, both for the most part, being totally 150% honest was the best thing for me. While I had a few drinks in Cuba a few weeks ago - the thought of losing my job in this market has been a HUGE incentive for me to stay on the straight and narrow. That was just MY situation - only you know what is going to be best for you M.
Good luck and try not to freak out. Someone else said "chose your words carefully"

ScottFromWI

You can't undo what was said in the email, but you can say that you were simply interested in knowing what is available. A lot also depends on whether or not your company has policies in place regarding drug use and/or a testing program. You don't want to lie of course, but also don't divulge anything that you don't feel is appropriate to share.

Anna

It seems you have started the ball rolling and it's going to be a bit difficult to stop it now. If you back off from your email, it could seem quite suspicious. As others have said, they may have a policy that they 'must' do something once someone brings an addiction problem to them. I think the best thing to do is take the call and deal with it as best you can.

matilda123

I agree with Scott. It might be analogous to asking about maternity or paternity leave. Just because one asks, doesn't mean one's pregnant (or one's partner). That is, of course, a question that is illegal for an employer to ask. I actually don't know the law around substance abuse, but I imagine that an employer cannot ask about that, just as they can't ask about any other medical condition?

I would wait for the conversation too and see if I could get some more information.

Thepatman

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just make the conference call and ask for a bit of leave time. If you have some in bank of course. No need to go in great details, addiction can be to anything, pain killers for example.

Aellyce

I think Scott has a good point about drug testing policies. Have you any idea about this? Do you think you could pass such a drug test had they required you to do one soon? Some jobs definitely can send employees to random drug tests -- this could be the case with my job for example due to the nature of the work.

JT0626

Oh wow, I would be a nervous wreck as well. Definitely do the conference call & let them do all the talking. That will give you a feel for what exactly the call is all about. They may just talk about EAP & how to utilize those benefits.

Like SarahB said, if you have health insurance they do cover substance abuse treatment. You can go that route & your employer will not know.

Do keep in mind that your employer may scrutinize you carefully for a while since a red flag was raised wtih them. If you haven't had any performance problems lately I would think everything will die down eventually.

Keep us posted on how the call went!! ((hugs))

Fly N Buy

I am sure this will work out......

More importantly, I hope you decide to get the help you need in whatever fashion you deem necessary. For me the bottom just kept getting deeper with my regret and ongoing shenanigans.

Hope you find peace, friend
FlyN

gippy1968

If you have a copy of your Company Policy and any docs/contracts you signed at hire, pull them out and go thru them. My company has very strict policies in place concerning substance use and abuse and are clearly stated.

BirdsAteMyFace

Being honest with my employer was really the beginning of my recovery. While I didn't go to work drunk, I certainly went in hung over and I called in sick far far too much, using more and more 1/2 truths to cover for it. It was spiraling out of control.

I'm sure everything will be ok in your situation. They may keep an eye on you for awhile, but that might not be a bad thing. It may help you keep to your program a little more strenuously.

Soberwolf

Hi Mrrryah im with Scott here

aasharon90

Back in 1990, my husband used resources
from his employment for me, a family
member with concerns of mental health
issues and addiction problems.

Having that resource to call for help
aided family in doing a positive,
appropriate intervention on me
getting me the help I needed at
that time in my life.

It did help me and thank God
there are helpful resources available
to many for folks like myself needing
help with addiction and places to go
like rehab where I spent 28 days
learning about my addiction to
alcohol and its affects on me and
those around me.

The tools and knowledge of a
recovery program taught to me
24 yrs ago has help me remain
sober and learn to live each day
healthier, happier and honest in
my life affairs.

Mrrryah1

Thanks y'all!!!

I think I was under the impression that they were going to be able to outright confront me and put pressure on me to tell them whether I'm suffering with an addiction.

Now I realize that's against human rights laws and they cannot force me to disclose that, same as any other illness.

I'm now confident the call will be fine. I am just inquiring for informational purposes at this time, and that's the truth. Don't need to lie.

Buggirl

Just be honest. They should offer to support you. No employment tribunal would go against you for getting help and advice, but if you don't tell them and they find out, that's a different story

Good luck x