Croissant

I don't want to drink now, but there's looming pressure and comments like, "go get yourself a bottle of wine"...

Please tell me the reasons why I shouldn't, before the AV starts telling me, "life's too short, you can just have one".

(Yes, I know drinking alcoholically will shorten my life anyway.)

Traumatic events are no reason to drink. Please tell me why - remind me. Please.

trachemys

There is never a reason to drink. Just an excuse.

anattaboy

Because eff-it is a fairly bad way to treat one's self if they wish to have anything close to a life. I have irrational thoughts like that too and they do blindside us but that is what the recognition part is for. Don't forget the RT that goes with the AV.

sprout50

Because drinking only makes any problem worse. Drinking solves nothing. Whatever problems or traumatic events we face, will not go away and will still have to be faced. Alcohol increases depression as well. Alcohol also stops us from seeking out real and meaningful help when faced with problems or events that are difficult.

snowbunting

Because drinking will make the trauma last longer, and rob you of the chance to heal.

Dee74

Sometimes we'll have a really good, valid excuse to drink - a real humdinger - but it's still just an excuse and it's still as empty as all our other excuses are.

Drinking doesn't help us cope. It numbs us...it helps us run away...but, as alcoholics, it also takes over our lives, and seeks to destroy.

There's been enough destruction and enough tragedy.

Our addiction will not think twice about taking our fear, our grief, our anger and our sorrow and using it cynically and obscenely as a way to get what it wants.

It won't bat an eyelid at taking a tragedy, and grotesquely twisting it into a reason to you to obliterate yourself.

Honestly, drinking would be a really shallow response to what is a profound event.

The proper response is to see your Doctor and/or avail yourself of some counselling, Crois.
Maybe your work will offer something?

I really hope you will follow it up.

Join me in not drinking over this

D

Aellyce

I think that traumatic experiences for an adult can sometimes be the inspiration and starting point of significant change and yet unknown phases of our being. But we need to be able to process them in order for that to have a chance. Drinking will make all that impossible.

HeartsAfire

Pardon me for getting all Stuart Smalley on you...


Because you're worth it!

GracieLou

Life's too short, you can't just have one.

Nonsensical

Traumatic events are part of life, even for non-drinkers.

People who can have just one don't have a voice in their head telling them they can.

Nowsthetime

When people tell you to "go get a bottle of wine" tell them to "go get a brain".

It might catch them off guard but it will do the trick.

desypete

a dry bed is a good thing, not so if i take a drink

waking up at home is another good start for me, instead of waking up anywhere, from police cells to out in the streets, its a barrel of laughs when you wake up freezing, peed your clothes and have to try and make your way home again. sober trying to not look at anyone, : (

Ruby2

If you know that a traumatic event is looming you can take steps now to encounter it without drinking. As alcoholics we are programmed to immediately reach for a bottle to make it go away but it won't go away and drinking will only make it worse.

This is a hypothetical that I've run through my head. My father has a very bad heart, which is true. He has both a pace maker and defibrillator. As a child I always thought my parents would be there forever. He still lives a very active life with some limitations. However, every year he ends up in the hospital for a period of days. I never know when my mother will call to say he's in the hospital again. Each time he bounces back, a little weaker but still here. And here is the hypothetical. What happens when it's the end, come see your father now! When will that call come? Will it come in the middle of the night when if I'm drinking I'd be too drunk to move if I even hear the phone ring? So I miss seeing my father and saying one last goodbye? What if he does pass. I pick up a drink because I'm so distraught. Will it change his death? No. Will anyone blame me for drinking? No, probably not. But they will blame me if I'm too hungover to be any support to my family, especially my mother. If I show up to the wake and funeral reeking of alcohol. Stumbling, slurring, saying inappropriate things. Not being present in the moment to handle it or be of any use to anyone. It's me being selfish. Considering only my pain and my grief with little regard to anyone else.

So that's what I've thought. My AV has already told me. It's patiently waiting for the day that my father dies so that I have an excuse to drink. A reason for which no one will question. Pretty sick, isn't it? Using my fathers demise to pick up a bottle. So I know that is what I face. I know now so I can think it through. Surround myself now with loving support so that I can face the pain sober. So I'm there with my mother and can support her. Drinking would be such a bad idea. Don't do it.

Tonks

Because by drinking you'll be committing emotional suicide. Running from grief is a blatant disrespect to very memory of the loved one we lost. And the longer we attempt to suppress raw emotions with addiction, the longer we will suffer from anxiety and other psychological ailments. Not to mention the rapid decline of physical health.

dwtbd

Croissant I hope you are in a better place right now.
Not for your specific situation but just speaking to your conjecture in general, my thoughts are that for 'normies' the idea of drinking is most often seen as a pleasant experience that only adds enjoyment to a 'something' , a glass of wine with dinner, a beer at a ballgame, picnic ect. The way I used alcohol was completely different, the only enjoyment came from the drunkness and the more the better, the off switch was broken from the start(everytime). Trying to see drinking through that lens makes it hard for to see a healthy attitude toward alcohol use , in that vein. A horrible situation is presented and this a rational reason to 'enhance' the mood? When I look at my own past motivations, it was more a 'justified ' reason that no one could blame me for getting drunk.
My 2 cents

hopeful4

Because we both know it won't be just one. You can do this.

MelindaFlowers

Two words: massive hangover.

Remember those?

Anna

Croissant, you know that drinking won't change what has happened to upset you. And, in the end, it will make things worse.

eric1212

ev one knows that alcohol releases us from the restraints of inhibition... once our "limits" are set free, our emotional side takes over... we've all seen it. most have experienced it first hand.
serious life events require Rational thinking,,, not Emotional....

growpath

Hi Croissant,

the people who are saying, "go get a bottle of wine" don't understand people like us.

they don't get the obsession and terrible lifestyle that follows that "one bottle" of wine. we know from experience that bottle leads to many and on top of that the destruction of the mind, body and soul that surely follows with people like us.

you know it wont be any different from any of the other attempts to drink. God doesn't give us the strength to get away from the poison and the insanity just so we can walk right back to it's trap.

stay strong. you deserve sobriety. you don't have to defend it either...you just gotta do it

there's no good reason to drink; including traumatic events. you have to learn to deal with these events sober for any chance of healthy healing. this too shall pass and you will come out at the other end stronger than before. the only way out is through.

YOU CAN DO THIS FOR YOU. hugs.