Here we go again :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 244
Here we go again :-)
Hello!
When I first found this forum a few years back I had just quit my amazing job (sent in a drunken email to my boss and co-workers, something I'm very proud of to this day lol), I started an outpatient therapy program (I left after a week, I was the only drinker in the group as the others were all coming off of Meth, I just didn't fit it), and truthfully, the main reason my efforts didn't work then is because I didn't want them to. Quitting via willpower alone isn't enough, but quitting with support and not having any willpower I think is just as dangerous. We have to want to stop. Like really. And I didn't want to at the time.
Fast forward to now. I just had my one year anniversary with a great guy. Unfortunately,he too is an alcoholic. I've lost a few jobs from calling in sick too much but they've all been temporary so who cares right? I however went through a rigorous interview process for a job I would kill for. And today, I got an offer!!!! This job has the ability to change my life. Amazing benefits, great pay, I can finally move out of my mother's house (I'm 33, I think it's time), everything is set up for me. I should be elated but I'm scared to death. How will alcohol come in and ruin this for me? It's happened so many times before. So, I have a plan of attack so to speak.
First of all, I really want to stop this time. Last weekend (I've been sober for 2 days now) I was doing the usual, hanging out with friends Saturday night, playing cards and getting drunk, then, hungover, went to brunch on Sunday morning, which included several drinks, then went to a restaurant and continued drinking, and was passed out by 6pm. The whole time I was thinking "This really just isn't any fun anymore." It used to be a blast. That is gone. And I'm thankful for that!
So, how the hell am I finally going to stay sober? My new job doesn't start till January 12th, and my temp job just ended so I've got some free time. Perfect time to become an AA junkie. AA was never a big help to me before, but it will give me somewhere to go and help me with the temptations. I've also let my friends know the truth, some kind of knew, but now they know everything and they understand why I will no longer be drinking with them. And even my boyfriend, whom I should state "could" be an alcoholic, I'm not sure, says that he's ready for a break, and since we drink together all the time, I think both of us "taking a break" is a good start. However, I'm also looking into other alternatives as well.
Anyone here have experience with Antabuse? I know little about it, aside from its blocking the digestion of alcohol leading to almost instant hangovers and uncontrollable vomiting. I feel like this drug was made for me, as I have emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and have been dealing with it daily since I was 9 years old. If one thing is stronger in my life then alcohol, it's my desire to not vomit.
So, AA, friends know I won't be drinking with them, boyfriend wants a break from the booze, maybe Antabuse, coming back to this forum........any other ideas? I refuse to lose another job to this disease.
Quick back story. When I was 9 my fear of vomiting started. I wouldn't eat and would stay in bed for days at a time, scared that I'd catch something. Much therapy and medications followed. It helped a little bit, however anxiety and panic soon followed. Fast forward to now, I don't worry about vomit as much. In fact, as of 3 days ago I haven't vomited sober in 20 years. The anxiety and panic however is running my life. I'm on meds for it which helps and I am in therapy, which also helps. The thing that has always helped the most though was alcohol. When I drink I'm finally free. The problem of course is that alcohol is a liar. While I'm drinking I may be free of anxiety, however when I'm hungover my anxiety comes back exponentially worse. It's a horrible merry-go-round that I'm ready to finally get off.
So, that's my story, and this is yet another attempt of me trying to get control over this crap. I'm grateful for my 2 days, I'm grateful for finally actually wanting to stop. I'm grateful for getting another opportunity at a wonderful job, and I'm grateful that I have almost a month to focus on sobriety so I'll be in a good place mentally when I get back to work. I'm also grateful for this forum, and grateful that when I wake up in the morning I won't have a headache, dry mouth, nausea, or anything else. How lovely is that? For months now I've been drunk Saturday and Sunday, sober Monday and Tuesday, a few drink on Wednesday night, several drinks on Thursday night, and sober and in bed early on Friday nights. Saturday mornings have become my favorite time of the week. I sleep in, I cuddle with my dog, I feel great! I can't wait to have that feeling more consistently.
Much love to all, I'm sure I'll see you around!
Donnylutz :-)
(Me, hitting my alcoholism! DIE you *******, DIE!)
When I first found this forum a few years back I had just quit my amazing job (sent in a drunken email to my boss and co-workers, something I'm very proud of to this day lol), I started an outpatient therapy program (I left after a week, I was the only drinker in the group as the others were all coming off of Meth, I just didn't fit it), and truthfully, the main reason my efforts didn't work then is because I didn't want them to. Quitting via willpower alone isn't enough, but quitting with support and not having any willpower I think is just as dangerous. We have to want to stop. Like really. And I didn't want to at the time.
Fast forward to now. I just had my one year anniversary with a great guy. Unfortunately,he too is an alcoholic. I've lost a few jobs from calling in sick too much but they've all been temporary so who cares right? I however went through a rigorous interview process for a job I would kill for. And today, I got an offer!!!! This job has the ability to change my life. Amazing benefits, great pay, I can finally move out of my mother's house (I'm 33, I think it's time), everything is set up for me. I should be elated but I'm scared to death. How will alcohol come in and ruin this for me? It's happened so many times before. So, I have a plan of attack so to speak.
First of all, I really want to stop this time. Last weekend (I've been sober for 2 days now) I was doing the usual, hanging out with friends Saturday night, playing cards and getting drunk, then, hungover, went to brunch on Sunday morning, which included several drinks, then went to a restaurant and continued drinking, and was passed out by 6pm. The whole time I was thinking "This really just isn't any fun anymore." It used to be a blast. That is gone. And I'm thankful for that!
So, how the hell am I finally going to stay sober? My new job doesn't start till January 12th, and my temp job just ended so I've got some free time. Perfect time to become an AA junkie. AA was never a big help to me before, but it will give me somewhere to go and help me with the temptations. I've also let my friends know the truth, some kind of knew, but now they know everything and they understand why I will no longer be drinking with them. And even my boyfriend, whom I should state "could" be an alcoholic, I'm not sure, says that he's ready for a break, and since we drink together all the time, I think both of us "taking a break" is a good start. However, I'm also looking into other alternatives as well.
Anyone here have experience with Antabuse? I know little about it, aside from its blocking the digestion of alcohol leading to almost instant hangovers and uncontrollable vomiting. I feel like this drug was made for me, as I have emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and have been dealing with it daily since I was 9 years old. If one thing is stronger in my life then alcohol, it's my desire to not vomit.
So, AA, friends know I won't be drinking with them, boyfriend wants a break from the booze, maybe Antabuse, coming back to this forum........any other ideas? I refuse to lose another job to this disease.
Quick back story. When I was 9 my fear of vomiting started. I wouldn't eat and would stay in bed for days at a time, scared that I'd catch something. Much therapy and medications followed. It helped a little bit, however anxiety and panic soon followed. Fast forward to now, I don't worry about vomit as much. In fact, as of 3 days ago I haven't vomited sober in 20 years. The anxiety and panic however is running my life. I'm on meds for it which helps and I am in therapy, which also helps. The thing that has always helped the most though was alcohol. When I drink I'm finally free. The problem of course is that alcohol is a liar. While I'm drinking I may be free of anxiety, however when I'm hungover my anxiety comes back exponentially worse. It's a horrible merry-go-round that I'm ready to finally get off.
So, that's my story, and this is yet another attempt of me trying to get control over this crap. I'm grateful for my 2 days, I'm grateful for finally actually wanting to stop. I'm grateful for getting another opportunity at a wonderful job, and I'm grateful that I have almost a month to focus on sobriety so I'll be in a good place mentally when I get back to work. I'm also grateful for this forum, and grateful that when I wake up in the morning I won't have a headache, dry mouth, nausea, or anything else. How lovely is that? For months now I've been drunk Saturday and Sunday, sober Monday and Tuesday, a few drink on Wednesday night, several drinks on Thursday night, and sober and in bed early on Friday nights. Saturday mornings have become my favorite time of the week. I sleep in, I cuddle with my dog, I feel great! I can't wait to have that feeling more consistently.
Much love to all, I'm sure I'll see you around!
Donnylutz :-)
(Me, hitting my alcoholism! DIE you *******, DIE!)
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Nice to meet you Donny welcome bk well done on day 2
you might want to read this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
you might want to read this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
Welcome, Donny! Record your plan and stick to it, lay in a stock of ice cream and beverages, herbal tea is soothing, and take it one day at a time. You have a great opportunity here. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Have you thought about another outpatient program?
Good plan. I would think through what you might do if your BF tempts you. It's great that he wants to try to dry out too, but it sounds quite possible that he won't succeed as long as you. I am thinking of things like not hanging out with him if he's drunk, having an escape route if he starts drinking, etc....
I know you can stay sober and keep this job if you make some changes!
Good plan. I would think through what you might do if your BF tempts you. It's great that he wants to try to dry out too, but it sounds quite possible that he won't succeed as long as you. I am thinking of things like not hanging out with him if he's drunk, having an escape route if he starts drinking, etc....
I know you can stay sober and keep this job if you make some changes!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
