Notices

resentment from more severe alcoholics

Old 12-15-2014, 05:17 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Tang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
resentment from more severe alcoholics

I met someone recently who told me they were in AA. I mentioned I had stopped drinking as well with various support mechanisms. After describing our alcoholic behaviours, he told me I wasn't a real alcoholic because my bottom wasn't as severe as others he knew. Do people with more severe drinking problems really judge those or compete with those who are not as severe?
Tang is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 05:20 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Some people judge other people.

Some of those judges also drank excessively.

Whether they did or not, I don't have time to worry about what they think.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 05:26 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Kaleidoscope eyes
 
KateL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
I had nothing but judgement and aggro from my ex inlaws who could, themselves, drink an ocean dry - but of course it was the opposite because I was much worse according to them *rolls eyes* Anyhoo, don't pay any attention to it. xx
KateL is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 05:36 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Bailey3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,070
Sounds to me like he has an ego problem and, needs to work the steps some more.
Bailey3 is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 05:38 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
GracieLou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Everyone has their own story and your bottom is never the same as someone else's.

There are also different types of bottoms. Emotional, loss of family or loss of ones self and then the physical, lost of jobs, DUI etc.

The idea in AA is to identify with another alcoholic, not to compare or judge ourselves as different. If all we did was look for the things that are different, such as bottoms or resentments, then we could do that all day long and all that does is separate us.

It is not how much I drank or what resentments I have, it is what alcoholic did to me and my life. If you have a desire to stop drinking, then you are a member in AA if you say so.

Let them worry about them and you worry about you. Remember that not everyone in AA is recovered, there are many in the rooms that are still sick. We just have to love each other were we are, not where we think others should be or what they may say.
GracieLou is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 05:49 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Marchia in Aeternum
 
trachemys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Ignore that. You're on your own journey. Stay sober.
trachemys is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 05:49 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by GracieLou View Post
Everyone has their own story and your bottom is never the same as someone else's.

There are also different types of bottoms. Emotional, loss of family or loss of ones self and then the physical, lost of jobs, DUI etc.

The idea in AA is to identify with another alcoholic, not to compare or judge ourselves as different. If all we did was look for the things that are different, such as bottoms or resentments, then we could do that all day long and all that does is separate us.

It is not how much I drank or what resentments I have, it is what alcoholic did to me and my life. If you have a desire to stop drinking, then you are a member in AA if you say so.

Let them worry about them and you worry about you. Remember that not everyone in AA is recovered, there are many in the rooms that are still sick. We just have to love each other were we are, not where we think others should be or what they may say.

Very well stated.

BE WELL
IOAA2 is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 06:01 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
are you sure they were judging you or trying to make you face certain things ?

i know for me i felt people judged me in aa all the time, when i was new and wasnt on any sort of program i had to deal with the aa super sober experts who would judge me based on my lack of experience etc

in there head they were merely only trying to help me as they judged me compared to themselves etc


so maybe thats what happend with you ?
desypete is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 06:10 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Tang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Originally Posted by desypete View Post
are you sure they were judging you or trying to make you face certain things ? i know for me i felt people judged me in aa all the time, when i was new and wasnt on any sort of program i had to deal with the aa super sober experts who would judge me based on my lack of experience etc in there head they were merely only trying to help me as they judged me compared to themselves etc so maybe thats what happend with you ?
You know, maybe you are right. Maybe it's just me feeling my bottom doesn't qualify me as a real alcoholic. Oh the mind games. Thanks everyone..
Tang is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 06:11 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,330
I don't talk to people about my alcoholism (except at SR) so I can just focus on my own recovery.
Anna is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 06:24 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by Tang View Post
You know, maybe you are right. Maybe it's just me feeling my bottom doesn't qualify me as a real alcoholic. Oh the mind games. Thanks everyone..
i know i hated certain people in aa as they always made me feel less superior to them ( how dare they ) lol

i come to see today that its just what i needed as i was to full of my own self importance to be able to hear what they were saying
i would react to what they would say rather then listen and understand, i was so sensitive

today i know me better now and i know if i feel the urge to kick out at someone or something i have to sit back for a while and just think about it
try to write it out and read it again and again see if the next time i read it that it looks so different to how i first thought it was

this mind of mine is nuts lol i have been like this ever since i was a child and sadly its taken me a long long time to just start to get to understand how i react etc

this is were a sponsor and others in aa have helped me as they give me another side to things that on my own i could never come to see

but your right this mind is a pain in the butt ; )
desypete is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 06:26 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Trudgin
 
Fly N Buy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Tang View Post
I met someone recently who told me they were in AA. I mentioned I had stopped drinking as well with various support mechanisms. After describing our alcoholic behaviours, he told me I wasn't a real alcoholic because my bottom wasn't as severe as others he knew. Do people with more severe drinking problems really judge those or compete with those who are not as severe?
Only those who are really, really sick.......
Glad you're here and posting!!

For me, I could care less about the " sliding scale". Things were bad and getting worse. Today life is so much better without booze.

Frankly, I feel very fortunate my story is pretty vanilla

Kind Regards,
FlyN
Fly N Buy is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 06:52 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
No need to take part in pissing contests, even if you can write your name in snow. LOL!
Thepatman is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:02 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Originally Posted by Thepatman View Post
No need to take part in pissing contests, even if you can write your name in snow. LOL!
TMI Patman!
ArtFriend is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:04 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Never compare yourself to others because you will always find someone better off and worse off than you are. It is pointless.
ArtFriend is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:21 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
This is YOUR story, your life, your alcoholism. Don't compare yourself to others. It's futile...
Nowsthetime is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:21 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: BALTIMORE
Posts: 46
"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."
Squig is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:22 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
AdmimalBlueEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 151
That person was a arse , there is always a deeper bottom one can reach, I myself am verythankfull I never caused major bodily harm to someone while I was driving drunk, most of us A's dodge a whole lot of bullets , its a blessing that most of us still have functioning body,
anyways stay sober, be healthy and have a nice holiday
AdmimalBlueEyes is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:25 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Tang View Post
I met someone recently who told me they were in AA. I mentioned I had stopped drinking as well with various support mechanisms. After describing our alcoholic behaviours, he told me I wasn't a real alcoholic because my bottom wasn't as severe as others he knew. Do people with more severe drinking problems really judge those or compete with those who are not as severe?

IMo those that haven't deflated their ego and don't have an understanding of what alcoholism is... Yes, it happens.

My thinking was the same as the gutter drunk AND the man that had 6 blackouts his entire drinking career and only drank wine at dinner.

It can even be read here. I've read the ," if you didn't end up on the streets and have this that and the other taken away..." blahblahblah.
It's and ego trip and can deter people from thinking they have a problem.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 12-15-2014, 07:42 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ultramarathoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Originally Posted by Tang View Post
I met someone recently who told me they were in AA. I mentioned I had stopped drinking as well with various support mechanisms. After describing our alcoholic behaviours, he told me I wasn't a real alcoholic because my bottom wasn't as severe as others he knew. Do people with more severe drinking problems really judge those or compete with those who are not as severe?
. . . Yeah, but my Daddy can beat your Daddy up!

Some will try to compete on everything.
Ultramarathoner is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:18 PM.