HellJuice

"Roller Coaster"

Ok that was two words. But that is what it's been like through my sobriety. One minute I'm fine, the next I'm, not.
Oddly enough I have no urge to drink any longer.. that stopped at about 2 months or so.. however the feeling of being sober now feels like walking a tight rope with no safety net. The tight rope symbolizing reality, and the safety net which once was my alcohol!
Have a nice weekend everyone! Just venting.

LBrain

urge or desire ?

Congrats on 3 months and 20 days.

Yes, it can be a roller coaster. Stick to it and those tracks become smoother and smoother. Then it will seem like a ride in the boats.

Foolsgold186

My reality without alcohol was terrifying, I'd forgot how to live life without it. Now I face it head on, I'm still fearful but I'd live rather live a million days like this than drink.

Thank you for posting this.

SoberLeigh

Congratulations, HellJuice. The ride will become smoother in time.

biminiblue

Well done on three (almost four!) months.

It will get better. Just keep doing the right things and the peaks and valleys will level out in time.

Ellay

I feel as though I could have written your post! I also agree that the lines of the coaster are getting a little less steep....a few less crazy drops....but , hey - what would life be like if it was just a boring straight line?!

HellJuice

Hmm I'd have to say desire more than urge. Although I will say this.. when I first started sobering up, I felt like the only thing that could cure me was drinking again.. now I realize there really is no cure and even if there was, alcohol is definitely NOT a cure, it is simply an action which will only delay getting OK in the end.

The depressing thing is, now that I am a bit more clear and in touch with reality, I know that even alcohol can't make me feel better which almost makes me feel helpless, like I've been told by the doctor that I have an incurable disease. But as someone else said earlier here, I'd rather live a million days like this than a single day drunk. Thanks everyone for listening to my lil rant.

PurpleKnight

Congrats on your Sober time!! Keep pushing through!!

Chillly

Emotional Whack-a-Mole

WIP17

I can totally relate to the emotional roller coaster ride... I have found if i can ride long enough it does go away and seems to lessen each day. Congrats on your sobriety!

Notimetoloose

I felt the same at 3 + months and I could have written your post...it does get better and the ups and downs of the roller coaster gradually become smoother and less extreme.

I improved day by day but it was so subtle that at times I felt like I was stuck in the same place...I feel like it took a while to get messed up it will take awhile to get sorted out.

least

Congrats on 3 months and 20 days sober!

Alwyshope12

This is a great topic. The post acute wiyhdrawl syndrome (paws) has been one if the toughest part of quoting alcohol. The ups and downs of the recovery period is something we all go through to varying degrees.

You can google PAWS and alcohol and find numerous links out there that help to understand what is going on. In its simplest form, our brains are working at rebalancing the neurotransmitters within the brain. We became this way over years of drinking and alcohol abuse, so it seems reasonable thay we would take some time to have the brain come back into equilibrium.

Unfortunately, this leads to the emotional roller coaster. I'm on it as we speak, so k can sympathy size with the difficulties.

Hang in there and as everyone says, the bumps will become more gentle over time. All will fall more and more into order and we will be closer to finding the peace without alcohol that we all deserve.

Arbor

Good description. I'm almost three months in and can't help but feel like it's a bit of self torture mind wise. I trust in what others say that it does get better with time. How could it not?

Dee74

Hi Hell Juice - it took me about 3 months before the roller coaster of emotions slowed a little and things got a little more constant.

Have you made any other changes to your life besides not drinking?

D

Buggirl

Well done!

Plure

Congrats on the 3 months plus 20! I'm hoping that mark for me brings some added calm and less of the roller coaster. I was drinking to cope with my anxiety that was building over time. Now that the alcohol is gone, reality (a/k/a anxiety) is my challenge.

Plure

Congrats on the 3 months plus 20! I'm hoping that mark for me brings some added calm and less of the roller coaster. I was drinking to cope with my anxiety that was building over time. Now that the alcohol is gone, reality (a/k/a anxiety) is my challenge.