How can you prevent addiction in your chuldten?
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How can you prevent addiction in your chuldten?
I am a recovering alcoholic who has two precious little boys ages 4 and 7 and I often think how can I prevent addiction in them?? I can't even imagine the torture it would be to watch your child self destruct. My parents were not aware I had an issue with alcohol and I have been able to stop before any major consequences. Of course I still made many mistakes and did not always put them first which sickens me! Advice?
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Location: Atlanta
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My step-niece, who is more like a much younger sister to me, has addiction in every cell of her body. My stepmom, who raised her (her mom died in a car wreck at 18, not an A yet) died of an "accidental OD" a year ago. Her bio-dad is in prison.
What I do? I'm honest with her. She was still a pre-teen when I was out using drugs, and she remembers. She sees me working recovery and she is proud!! When she has questions about drugs, I tell her what I know. I took her, a few years ago, to the 'hood I walked the streets in and her jaw dropped.
She knows I worry about her slipping into addiction, and she is honest with me (she has fibromyalgia and back problems) but she hears me.
She saw me hit bottom, get back up, then relapse. She's seen me claw my way back up to a life I'm proud of. SHE is proud of me.
Your kids are younger, but my niece was dealing with addiction from the age of 1, when her mama died. Today, she knows me as the person who will always have her back, though I WILL say my mind if I'm worried.
She's terrified of drugs, having seen what they do to people she loves. She sees me as someone who wakes up, every day, focusing on recovery.
I didn't tell her all the details when she was as young as your kids, but I've always been honest with her. We went through a patch where she said she hated me, as I wouldn't put up with her actions.
It passed. We now have a very good relationship, even though she is out of state and we don't talk as much as we used to. She is married, has her own child, and understands all the things I wanted for her because she wants the same for her daughter.
It's not easy, but IMO, living in recovery but being honest about addiction works pretty good.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
What I do? I'm honest with her. She was still a pre-teen when I was out using drugs, and she remembers. She sees me working recovery and she is proud!! When she has questions about drugs, I tell her what I know. I took her, a few years ago, to the 'hood I walked the streets in and her jaw dropped.
She knows I worry about her slipping into addiction, and she is honest with me (she has fibromyalgia and back problems) but she hears me.
She saw me hit bottom, get back up, then relapse. She's seen me claw my way back up to a life I'm proud of. SHE is proud of me.
Your kids are younger, but my niece was dealing with addiction from the age of 1, when her mama died. Today, she knows me as the person who will always have her back, though I WILL say my mind if I'm worried.
She's terrified of drugs, having seen what they do to people she loves. She sees me as someone who wakes up, every day, focusing on recovery.
I didn't tell her all the details when she was as young as your kids, but I've always been honest with her. We went through a patch where she said she hated me, as I wouldn't put up with her actions.
It passed. We now have a very good relationship, even though she is out of state and we don't talk as much as we used to. She is married, has her own child, and understands all the things I wanted for her because she wants the same for her daughter.
It's not easy, but IMO, living in recovery but being honest about addiction works pretty good.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by Hereandnow2 
I am a recovering alcoholic who has two precious little boys ages 4 and 7 and I often think how can I prevent addiction in them?? I can't even imagine the torture it would be to watch your child self destruct. My parents were not aware I had an issue with alcohol and I have been able to stop before any major consequences. Of course I still made many mistakes and did not always put them first which sickens me! Advice?
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
God Bless you, OP, for thinking of this - and trying to prevent it. I took my teens to Alateen, and it did not help - but I would send them again, in a minute.
I was just thinking today - if I had known what was going to happen, what would I have done differently with my grandson - I would have:
1) Made the family values known - and would have reinforced them, daily.
2) Would have written out Househole Rules for conduct (having to do with thoughtfulness, kindness, responsibility, etc.)
3) If anyone would have suffered traumas instead of thinking everything was "okay," would address the specific traumas in therapy with the kids.
4) Would have emphasized healthy living examples.
5) Would have insisted on life skill training (i.e., cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc.)
6) etc.
I was just thinking today - if I had known what was going to happen, what would I have done differently with my grandson - I would have:
1) Made the family values known - and would have reinforced them, daily.
2) Would have written out Househole Rules for conduct (having to do with thoughtfulness, kindness, responsibility, etc.)
3) If anyone would have suffered traumas instead of thinking everything was "okay," would address the specific traumas in therapy with the kids.
4) Would have emphasized healthy living examples.
5) Would have insisted on life skill training (i.e., cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc.)
6) etc.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
Don't be a home where you don't talk about drugs, sex, and alcohol.
Listen to their music, watch their TV shows and use the things you hear or see to start an ongoing conversation about these uncomfortable subjects.
Browse thru Urban dictionary and get to know the lingo of what things mean. Something you may find to be totally innocent could be code talk for something entirely different.
Let them know starting at an early age they might be "allergic" to drugs and alcohol.
Teach them how to treat others and more importantly how they allow others to treat them.
Be their role model and example of how to live a healthy life.
Listen.
Listen to their music, watch their TV shows and use the things you hear or see to start an ongoing conversation about these uncomfortable subjects.
Browse thru Urban dictionary and get to know the lingo of what things mean. Something you may find to be totally innocent could be code talk for something entirely different.
Let them know starting at an early age they might be "allergic" to drugs and alcohol.
Teach them how to treat others and more importantly how they allow others to treat them.
Be their role model and example of how to live a healthy life.
Listen.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Hereandnow2
I am a recovering alcoholic who has two precious little boys ages 4 and 7 and I often think how can I prevent addiction in them?? I can't even imagine the torture it would be to watch your child self destruct. My parents were not aware I had an issue with alcohol and I have been able to stop before any major consequences. Of course I still made many mistakes and did not always put them first which sickens me! Advice?
We all f*ck up. Some more than others. And when we do, what defines us is not how we f*cked up, but how we recovered when we did. If you are in recovery, that in and of itself is an achievement. As you know, some people don't choose or find recovery, but you did. Stay vigilant. Take care of yourself. Monitor yourself.
If you do all of this, and you know you've done all you can possibly do, then the rest is up to them.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Thank you all from these replies. I will read and reread these responses. On my six month birthday my 7 year old asked why my husband was congratulating me and he kept asking so..I told him I stopped drinking alcohol. He said, "that's great mom! It must be really hard when your at a party and you have to say no." I was so impressed he thought of this. I'm
A social worker who works with teens so I'm pretty current in what's going on and I am really open in regards to teaching him about spirituality, giving to others, respect, and the importance of hard work. I usually tell the boys that drugs and alcohol make you feel great and then you do it more and more and then it starts to be all you want to do and that's how it ruins peoples lives. I tell them it's best to stay away from alcohol, drugs and smoking because it hurst your brain and can cause illnesses. My husband is extreme loving and stable and they luckily haven't had any struggles yet but the teenage years can be so tough.
A social worker who works with teens so I'm pretty current in what's going on and I am really open in regards to teaching him about spirituality, giving to others, respect, and the importance of hard work. I usually tell the boys that drugs and alcohol make you feel great and then you do it more and more and then it starts to be all you want to do and that's how it ruins peoples lives. I tell them it's best to stay away from alcohol, drugs and smoking because it hurst your brain and can cause illnesses. My husband is extreme loving and stable and they luckily haven't had any struggles yet but the teenage years can be so tough.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
I also think teaching them how to be holistically healthy couldn't hurt - teach them to put healthy things into their bodies (and minds) and to take care of themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually . . . talk about the negative effects of alcohol - how it can cause various diseases - teach them to love themselves and to value their lives.
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