SpartanGreen

A little while ago, I was a person who drank a whole lot. I was working a hard working job and going back to my apartment to drink myself to sleep every night. Things were not going well, as evidenced by posts and threads I've made on this account in the past.

I decided to make a drastic change. I sold everything, got rid of my apartment, planned to go to a truck driving school to break into a better paying industry and just completely shuffled everything to break my routines. That was the short term plan.

Short term plan has gone well, six weeks in and I now have my commercial driver's license and I'm having a ton of fun, sober, happy as ever. However, the company I'm with is an OTR company, which means long haul driving, living in the truck 90% of nights.

The long term plan was to get my CDL, be sober for a 6-8 week stretch, then start applying for jobs around my hometown where I could sleep in my own home every night, find a wife and make some kids and live a sober and happy American dream.

Well now I'm at the point where the long term plan should be starting, and I'm scared to death that if I find a local job, I will just start drinking again. I think that to stay secure, I should just keep driving long haul for a year or two where I don't even have the option to drink and maybe my instinctual behavior will change by that point. Then I wonder if I'm going to be ingrained in this forever where I spend my life on the road without ever making a family because I'm hiding from alcohol.

Just looking for some advice, I'm a little lost on future plans.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on your career changes and success. I can't see anything in your long term plan specific to sobriety though...perhaps that's part of your trepidation?

SpartanGreen

Yes, it's 100% of my trepidation. I think if I were finishing work and coming back to a home every night, it would become a problem again.

ubntubnt

Living a sober life means living a happy, fulfilled, busy life. Whether you are living in the truck or coming home really should not be so much the issue. I think that if you are fully committed to your sobriety and you have built life habits that do not involve drinking you will be fine. I understand that keeping yourself busy driving and sleeping in your truck has been useful to get you to break your destructive cycle but don't be afraid of the changes needed to live a happy life. Be excited by them and embrace them.Trust me, with a wife and kids you will have plenty on your plate to keep you busy. Whether that is enough to keep you off the booze will depend on your inner fortitude and contentedness with your life. Personally, I would recommend you follow your American dream but only on the basis that it makes you happy and sonly on the basis that you commit to never drink again, not even once.

Mountainmanbob

In early sobriety most find it best to put sobriety first. And for the ones that do this all else seems to work out in time. Problem with us recovering drunks is that we want it all now (just like WE planned).
MM

Deleteda

Hi Spartan well done on what you have achieved already, big changes and you've followed through Why don't you set yourself a more short term goal of say three or six months staying on the road until you are feeling more secure in your sobriety. That way you've got a bit more breathing space. Hope this helps a bit. Peace X

Croissant

I very much agree with this. I used to call it my "bratty" voice....it's one that could often lead me to frustration, wanting a quick fix...and that would lead to a want to drink also.

I think one of our biggest lessons is relearning patience, with ourselves, others and our lives.