Changing the 12 steps
Journey of Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 195
Changing the 12 steps
***Warning: This post may offend some - This is NOT my intention. I am merely just expressing my thoughts and looking for a bit of advice. If secularist/ atheist statements may offend you I would suggest not reading further than this warning***
I am personally unwilling to complete the classic 12 steps of AA. It conflicts with my core being. I am highly logical, humanistic naturalist, and a secular atheist (To simplify my beliefs as much as I can).
I have had people tell me to think of my own higher power instead of god - but, I can not in good conscience do this. For myself I believe a "higher power" is a psychological manifestation. So this is what I have done - I looked up alternative 12 steps to follow - and not to my surprize, none of them were perfectly aligned with my very particular "beliefs". So using a combination of agnostic, humanist, non-theist, free-thinker, and self-confirmation 12 step AA programs I have taken bits and pieces of each & created steps that I could in good conscience complete.
So anyhow, I pretty much adjusted it to the point of no recognition from the original AA steps. Please attempt not to be judgemental - this is by far not final copy - this is why I am asking you all for suggestions.
1. We admitted our addictive craving over alcohol, and recognized its consequences in our lives.
2. We became entirely ready to work at transforming ourselves.
3. We committed ourselves to lifelong abstinence, staying away from the first drink, a day at a time.
4. We joined a fellowship of recovering alcoholics, who help each other maintain sobriety.
5. We became determined to live in the real world, here and now, whether pleasant or painful. We pledged allegiance to reason and evidence, rather than superstition and dogma.
6. We honestly evaluated our lives, acknowledging both our strengths and our weaknesses.
7. We strived to be in good health: We stopped smoking, exercised, got enough rest, and ate nutritious food.
8. With the assistance of others and our own firm resolve, we transformed unskillful aspects of ourselves and cultivated positive ones.
9. We made a conscientious effort to forgive all those who harmed us.
10. We got our lives in order — dealt with the wreckage of the past — made amends whenever feasible.
11. We will take direct action to help others in any way that we can.
12. We continued to share our experience, strength and hope with other recovering alcoholics.
So, finally I will get to my darn question lol. I have never completed the original AA 12 steps (obviously), and now that I have changed the 12 steps so profusely I am wondering what vital criteria am I missing in these alternative steps?
I am personally unwilling to complete the classic 12 steps of AA. It conflicts with my core being. I am highly logical, humanistic naturalist, and a secular atheist (To simplify my beliefs as much as I can).
I have had people tell me to think of my own higher power instead of god - but, I can not in good conscience do this. For myself I believe a "higher power" is a psychological manifestation. So this is what I have done - I looked up alternative 12 steps to follow - and not to my surprize, none of them were perfectly aligned with my very particular "beliefs". So using a combination of agnostic, humanist, non-theist, free-thinker, and self-confirmation 12 step AA programs I have taken bits and pieces of each & created steps that I could in good conscience complete.
So anyhow, I pretty much adjusted it to the point of no recognition from the original AA steps. Please attempt not to be judgemental - this is by far not final copy - this is why I am asking you all for suggestions.
ALTERNATIVE STEPS BY FRIXION
1. We admitted our addictive craving over alcohol, and recognized its consequences in our lives.
2. We became entirely ready to work at transforming ourselves.
3. We committed ourselves to lifelong abstinence, staying away from the first drink, a day at a time.
4. We joined a fellowship of recovering alcoholics, who help each other maintain sobriety.
5. We became determined to live in the real world, here and now, whether pleasant or painful. We pledged allegiance to reason and evidence, rather than superstition and dogma.
6. We honestly evaluated our lives, acknowledging both our strengths and our weaknesses.
7. We strived to be in good health: We stopped smoking, exercised, got enough rest, and ate nutritious food.
8. With the assistance of others and our own firm resolve, we transformed unskillful aspects of ourselves and cultivated positive ones.
9. We made a conscientious effort to forgive all those who harmed us.
10. We got our lives in order — dealt with the wreckage of the past — made amends whenever feasible.
11. We will take direct action to help others in any way that we can.
12. We continued to share our experience, strength and hope with other recovering alcoholics.
So, finally I will get to my darn question lol. I have never completed the original AA 12 steps (obviously), and now that I have changed the 12 steps so profusely I am wondering what vital criteria am I missing in these alternative steps?
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Montana
Posts: 151
I myself could never become sober without God. He is the most vital piece to my recovery. The more I come to understand and love God, the more I come to understand and love myself. Fixing my character flaws, making the right choices, and gravitating towards the right people seem to fall into place once that happens. Kind of like riding a bike without training wheels. At first it's wobbly, but when you pick up speed, it's a smoother ride for me. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
So, what did you change? 
I interpret the 12 steps as guidelines meant to be interpreted by the reader as they understand them. Not set in stone. I like yours. Only thing I do differently than you is recognize my Higher Power.
Bunnez
I interpret the 12 steps as guidelines meant to be interpreted by the reader as they understand them. Not set in stone. I like yours. Only thing I do differently than you is recognize my Higher Power.
Bunnez
Journey of Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by sugarbear1 
a spiritual experience.
LOL
LOLAlthough if I believed in a spiritual world I would have to say getting healthy, accepting faults/ strengths, forgiving others, asking forgiveness, and dedicating yourself to help others could definitely lead to some sort of spiritual peace.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
AA Agnostica is a website that you may find interesting. There is plenty of information on what other atheist and other like minded individuals do to maintain their world view and still benifit from the AA program.
Here is some agnostic 12 steps from the AA Agnostics of the San Franscisco Bay Area.
Be well.
Here is some agnostic 12 steps from the AA Agnostics of the San Franscisco Bay Area.
Be well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Frixion -
I really like them. They are a much more accurate version of the steps as related to my beliefs as well. I do believe in a life-permeating God energy, but even so, do not have an affinity with "confession" as recovery tool (which is a central aspect of the traditional steps). I believe that any spiritual force which exists already accepts me as I exist, which means that there is no ethical component of reward/punishment or involvement in supporting my "healthier" behavior (no Santa's "good kids list" which I get granted life-smoothness favors for being on...). I find that "good" or "bad" behaviors (I appreciated your replacing it with "unskillful") have natural consequences in our life and spirit, and need no additional reinforcement if we are listening.
Anyway - the only vital criteria missing from your version is the concept that God would be helping you achieve your sobriety...this is the essence of what has helped so many folks get sober through AA - the idea that if you totally give yourself over to his care and stop self directing your own life, a powerful cloud of protection and support will descend and surround you. It is comforting. It is the idea of an immediate dialog through prayer, and a God who is involved with our personal lives - backing us for success. I think one of the reasons this is so powerful is that addicts and alcoholics tend to be a lonely bunch, many of us with childhood histories of non-protective or non-engaged parents (often through their own addictions or alcoholism), and the supportive daddy god (who comes and cheers heartily at all our games) is a very attractive ideal to invite into our lives...
But many, many people have achieved sobriety without this reassuring relationship with a supportive deity. I believe that we have a personal power to make the choice to not drink. Your steps reinforce involvement with others who face the same particular challenges, helping behaviors, forgiveness, self-transformation - all the necessary elements of sobriety and essential parts of a successful plan.
The only thing I would add is that a big part of the work of the steps is not simply as a conscious focus framework, but as a shared exercise with a sponsor. This involves lots of writing exercises and sharing what has been written. There is a higher expectation of honesty in the sharing of the steps than in normal exchange. You share the shameful things (both that you have done and those which have been done to you), you open yourself completely, it is cathartic. Regardless of a belief in God, the shared ritual of the traditional 12 steps is a common experience for people in AA, a cultural rite. Can you adopt these as your guiding philosophy, but also do the exercise of the traditional 12 steps with your AA sponsor just to share that experience?
My AA sponsor is a very alternative thinker, non-religious, and shares my sort of pagan approach to God. It has been a good match that way, as I've not had to disregard or dishonor my own beliefs, but have been able to work through the steps with her in the traditional way. I hope you'll find a sponsor who resonates with you, so that you can have the full experience of sharing face to face.
I really like them. They are a much more accurate version of the steps as related to my beliefs as well. I do believe in a life-permeating God energy, but even so, do not have an affinity with "confession" as recovery tool (which is a central aspect of the traditional steps). I believe that any spiritual force which exists already accepts me as I exist, which means that there is no ethical component of reward/punishment or involvement in supporting my "healthier" behavior (no Santa's "good kids list" which I get granted life-smoothness favors for being on...). I find that "good" or "bad" behaviors (I appreciated your replacing it with "unskillful") have natural consequences in our life and spirit, and need no additional reinforcement if we are listening.
Anyway - the only vital criteria missing from your version is the concept that God would be helping you achieve your sobriety...this is the essence of what has helped so many folks get sober through AA - the idea that if you totally give yourself over to his care and stop self directing your own life, a powerful cloud of protection and support will descend and surround you. It is comforting. It is the idea of an immediate dialog through prayer, and a God who is involved with our personal lives - backing us for success. I think one of the reasons this is so powerful is that addicts and alcoholics tend to be a lonely bunch, many of us with childhood histories of non-protective or non-engaged parents (often through their own addictions or alcoholism), and the supportive daddy god (who comes and cheers heartily at all our games) is a very attractive ideal to invite into our lives...
But many, many people have achieved sobriety without this reassuring relationship with a supportive deity. I believe that we have a personal power to make the choice to not drink. Your steps reinforce involvement with others who face the same particular challenges, helping behaviors, forgiveness, self-transformation - all the necessary elements of sobriety and essential parts of a successful plan.
The only thing I would add is that a big part of the work of the steps is not simply as a conscious focus framework, but as a shared exercise with a sponsor. This involves lots of writing exercises and sharing what has been written. There is a higher expectation of honesty in the sharing of the steps than in normal exchange. You share the shameful things (both that you have done and those which have been done to you), you open yourself completely, it is cathartic. Regardless of a belief in God, the shared ritual of the traditional 12 steps is a common experience for people in AA, a cultural rite. Can you adopt these as your guiding philosophy, but also do the exercise of the traditional 12 steps with your AA sponsor just to share that experience?
My AA sponsor is a very alternative thinker, non-religious, and shares my sort of pagan approach to God. It has been a good match that way, as I've not had to disregard or dishonor my own beliefs, but have been able to work through the steps with her in the traditional way. I hope you'll find a sponsor who resonates with you, so that you can have the full experience of sharing face to face.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
this has been discussed many times and in many ways.
Check out the secular connections page and secular AA.
I related when I told them at AA back in Feb. that 'I' was my higher power it didn't sit well. Look into AVRT. Or just quit drinking and work on life without alcohol as a part of it. That's what I did. Life is improving every day.
Just thought of something: Trying to change the steps of aa is like telling staunch democrats to vote republican.
Check out the secular connections page and secular AA.
I related when I told them at AA back in Feb. that 'I' was my higher power it didn't sit well. Look into AVRT. Or just quit drinking and work on life without alcohol as a part of it. That's what I did. Life is improving every day.
Just thought of something: Trying to change the steps of aa is like telling staunch democrats to vote republican.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
a spiritual experience.
LOL
LOL
That makes me happy! Different strokes for different folks. It can work out all the same for all involved.Frixion
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Cool thread. I also tend to make my own version of nearly everything. I realized a long time ago that a large part of this tendency is not being rebellious at all or having strong belief systems etc. Much more a sort of creative force, that I somehow get a lot out of generating my own beliefs, philosophies, ways of living, etc. And then trying to make them work. Of course they don't always work, but this motivation never seems to want to leave me
I have not done the steps in AA, not because I have anything against the program, more simply just because at the time I thought it would have been too much practical commitment for me ans I seemed to manage without. But I totally agree with heartcore on working with compatible people, and the benefits from sharing and the collective exercise. And mutual growth. I do recognize though that this back/forth interpersonal approach is not for everyone (I personally love to do it with compatible people). I think experimenting and figuring out your way is a very good approach, given it has positive results.
I have not done the steps in AA, not because I have anything against the program, more simply just because at the time I thought it would have been too much practical commitment for me ans I seemed to manage without. But I totally agree with heartcore on working with compatible people, and the benefits from sharing and the collective exercise. And mutual growth. I do recognize though that this back/forth interpersonal approach is not for everyone (I personally love to do it with compatible people). I think experimenting and figuring out your way is a very good approach, given it has positive results.
Journey of Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 195
@heartcore: Thank you very much for your comment - it is an amazing feeling knowing that the classic AA steps are not well suited for everyone; feeling less alone about it now. I am currently seeking a sponsor, but I am kind of letting it happen naturally, because I think it will take some time to find someone who under stands my creativity and beliefs.
@Lbrain: I literally laughed out loud when I read "Just thought of something: Trying to change the steps of aa is like telling staunch democrats to vote republican." - That was so well put!!
@haennie: Thanks for the insight - I find my self to be very creative in many aspects of my life. I have dedicated much of myself to the study of sciences & having a creative nature has become a phenomenal combination. Your comment was a nice reminder of one of my more favourable traits that I often loose sight of!
@Lbrain: I literally laughed out loud when I read "Just thought of something: Trying to change the steps of aa is like telling staunch democrats to vote republican." - That was so well put!!
@haennie: Thanks for the insight - I find my self to be very creative in many aspects of my life. I have dedicated much of myself to the study of sciences & having a creative nature has become a phenomenal combination. Your comment was a nice reminder of one of my more favourable traits that I often loose sight of!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Frixion
now that I have changed the 12 steps so profusely I am wondering what vital criteria am I missing in these alternative steps?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 137
This is a very sticky issue in AA. Instead of trying to change things, I just accept things the way it is and state God is a AA jargon for what force thing gets your recovery.
I accept the spiritual part of the programs 100%. I attend a Unitarian Universialist Church which gives me the tools to practice spiritual principles of the program without having to believe explictly in God.
I never have gotten shot down in a meeting from my approach. My sponsor never chews me out for my approach.
The "God" talk drives me crazy, but I also know that different people have different approaches to recovery. Some people that finding faith in Jesus works perfectly for them and I accept and embrace it. Other people like need to turn towads secular humanism and philosophy to find our own inner own spiritual awakening or what I called "self-realization".
It is too bad that a lot of people get turned off by AA when in fact, the fact is not true. It just takes one or two vocal members in meeting that adhere the traditions and teaching the Big Book to tell the Newcomer that you do not believe in "God" to find recovery. You find it other ways than just turning prayer and religion.
I accept the spiritual part of the programs 100%. I attend a Unitarian Universialist Church which gives me the tools to practice spiritual principles of the program without having to believe explictly in God.
I never have gotten shot down in a meeting from my approach. My sponsor never chews me out for my approach.
The "God" talk drives me crazy, but I also know that different people have different approaches to recovery. Some people that finding faith in Jesus works perfectly for them and I accept and embrace it. Other people like need to turn towads secular humanism and philosophy to find our own inner own spiritual awakening or what I called "self-realization".
It is too bad that a lot of people get turned off by AA when in fact, the fact is not true. It just takes one or two vocal members in meeting that adhere the traditions and teaching the Big Book to tell the Newcomer that you do not believe in "God" to find recovery. You find it other ways than just turning prayer and religion.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Sounds great, seriously.
It's definitely on point.
Maybe take out the snipe (dogma / superstition) bit.
But to be scientific.... Wouldn't you have to run the AA program in its original format?
Then yours in comparison?
If you truly seek knowledge and experience and evidence.... I think that would be fair.
Then you can weigh the results and make a truly informed decision on which is exactly the most beneficial.
That's the scientific method right?
Otherwise you've just eliminated one method based purely on prejudice.
It's definitely on point.
Maybe take out the snipe (dogma / superstition) bit.
But to be scientific.... Wouldn't you have to run the AA program in its original format?
Then yours in comparison?
If you truly seek knowledge and experience and evidence.... I think that would be fair.
Then you can weigh the results and make a truly informed decision on which is exactly the most beneficial.
That's the scientific method right?
Otherwise you've just eliminated one method based purely on prejudice.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
You will need to change We to I. There is no We in this - it's yours, you own it.
The entire purpose of the steps and to get a point of recovery if you utilize AA program is to have spiritual awakening. Frankly, this may frustrate you and as others have stated there are other recovery options.
However, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Frixon, we all want the same thing - to stop, stay stopped and develop a manner of living in emotional sobriety - Happy, joyous and free! Whatever gets anyone to that point I do not disagree with and wish all the best!!
Keep coming back!
It hurts, then it works....
The entire purpose of the steps and to get a point of recovery if you utilize AA program is to have spiritual awakening. Frankly, this may frustrate you and as others have stated there are other recovery options.
However, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Frixon, we all want the same thing - to stop, stay stopped and develop a manner of living in emotional sobriety - Happy, joyous and free! Whatever gets anyone to that point I do not disagree with and wish all the best!!
Keep coming back!
It hurts, then it works....
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
It sounds like you made a good personal plan for lifelong abstinence inspired by some of the steps of AA and are comfortable with it.
Work it and don't drink no matter what.
Nothing is truly cast in stone anyway: if at some point you feel that you need to add something to it or slightly change something you can always revisit it.
I am glad that you have a plan which is quite elaborate btw, so many newcomers just waltz in and when asked what is their plan cannot even think of a single thing.
Work it and don't drink no matter what.
Nothing is truly cast in stone anyway: if at some point you feel that you need to add something to it or slightly change something you can always revisit it.
I am glad that you have a plan which is quite elaborate btw, so many newcomers just waltz in and when asked what is their plan cannot even think of a single thing.
Journey of Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by Hawks
Sounds great, seriously.
It's definitely on point.
Maybe take out the snipe (dogma / superstition) bit.
But to be scientific.... Wouldn't you have to run the AA program in its original format?
Then yours in comparison?
If you truly seek knowledge and experience and evidence.... I think that would be fair.
Then you can weigh the results and make a truly informed decision on which is exactly the most beneficial.
That's the scientific method right?
Otherwise you've just eliminated one method based purely on prejudice.
It's definitely on point.
Maybe take out the snipe (dogma / superstition) bit.
But to be scientific.... Wouldn't you have to run the AA program in its original format?
Then yours in comparison?
If you truly seek knowledge and experience and evidence.... I think that would be fair.
Then you can weigh the results and make a truly informed decision on which is exactly the most beneficial.
That's the scientific method right?
Otherwise you've just eliminated one method based purely on prejudice.
That would be the scientific method of some sorts at a rudimentary level for someone who is unexperienced with the concept of religion, or HP. What most people forget about is that the final and possibly the most vital step of the scientific method: After the experiments are concluded new observations must be made & thus the scientific method must repeat it's self.
Throughout my life I have used this scientific method in every subject matter. My observation regarding HP was that some people seem appeased by their belief in a HP/ god. My hypothesis asking this: Is there any undisputable or probable tangible evidence that a HP/ God exist? My experiment included attending churches, reading religious reading material, studying non-theist religions, researching previous experiments, watching intellectual debates and observing those who did claim to have a HP & those that hadn't. As a naturalist, I could not help but to make the conclusion that I could not locate any indisputable tangible evidence. Thus for me to go through the classic AA steps in order to attempt a psychological manifestation of something I see no tangible evidence for, would be a redundant experiment.
BUT experiments MUST be repeated over and over to gather more evidence in order to refine a hypothesis!! Saying that you are correct that to directly compare which one is most BENEFICIAL I would need to have both methods experimented on. The biggest issue with this is that there are far too many variables and the desired conclusion of which is more beneficial would be highly bias in every direction. Not to mention it would be impossible as a single individual to complete the AA steps and the alternative steps simultaneously and have a reasonable conclusion & a fair comparison.
Oh and by the way, I am just passionate about the topic and I began to rant.. a lot. Not in anyway was I trying to be aggressive/ rude/ insensitive/ ungrateful toward you. It's just talking about religion & science is fascinating to me, and I love talking about it! And I apologize for poor structure and organization in this comment - too tired from all the typing to properly proof read and reorganize lol!
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