My Dad is a functioning alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 1
My Dad is a functioning alcoholic
Hi there,
I have never posted here or anywhere before but after I read some other threads I thought I would give this a try.
I am looking for some advice really. My Dad is a high-functioning alcoholic. Myself and my family have been in denial about this for many years as we just thought 'wow, he can handle his drink' but lately his health has quickly deteriorated. He is still denying he has a problem and after reading many other threads and info on the subject I know that we can't force him to admit this. The problem now is his breath has become unbearable, his acid reflux just keeps getting worse, he has blackouts and sometimes becomes a completely different person, unresponsive and incoherent. He has high blood pressure and now has admitted to depression. He has been hiding bottles around the house and garage, also going for several walks on his own. He then has a loss of appetite and sleeps for most of the day. I am 32 years old and am 26 weeks pregnant with my first child and I am worried about leaving my baby with him, especially if he plans to drive anywhere. I know that accusing him, getting angry with him and trying to make him admit he has a problem won't help but I guess I just want to know if there is anything I can do. I have encouraged my Mum, who still lives with him, to go to an al-anon meeting nearby to see if that may help. He has agreed to go to the doctors to speak about his health problems but refuses to admit that any of them are linked to his drinking. Do we refuse to drink around him? Do we ban drink from the house, or just not supply any? Any advice would be greatly received as I feel a little helpless at the moment.
Thank you so much.
x
I have never posted here or anywhere before but after I read some other threads I thought I would give this a try.
I am looking for some advice really. My Dad is a high-functioning alcoholic. Myself and my family have been in denial about this for many years as we just thought 'wow, he can handle his drink' but lately his health has quickly deteriorated. He is still denying he has a problem and after reading many other threads and info on the subject I know that we can't force him to admit this. The problem now is his breath has become unbearable, his acid reflux just keeps getting worse, he has blackouts and sometimes becomes a completely different person, unresponsive and incoherent. He has high blood pressure and now has admitted to depression. He has been hiding bottles around the house and garage, also going for several walks on his own. He then has a loss of appetite and sleeps for most of the day. I am 32 years old and am 26 weeks pregnant with my first child and I am worried about leaving my baby with him, especially if he plans to drive anywhere. I know that accusing him, getting angry with him and trying to make him admit he has a problem won't help but I guess I just want to know if there is anything I can do. I have encouraged my Mum, who still lives with him, to go to an al-anon meeting nearby to see if that may help. He has agreed to go to the doctors to speak about his health problems but refuses to admit that any of them are linked to his drinking. Do we refuse to drink around him? Do we ban drink from the house, or just not supply any? Any advice would be greatly received as I feel a little helpless at the moment.
Thank you so much.
x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Only until he manages to admit his Alcohol issue will he be able to start the recovery journey. For some, even failing health is not sufficient to wake up. Denial is a big part of Alcoholism. A family intervention could do the trick, but it depends how deep he is in his denial. As for you my friend, you have a bay on the way, stressing yourself is not the best idea right now.
There is a great friends and family section on SR that can also help.
There is a great friends and family section on SR that can also help.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Sorry for your troubles, that's tough.
First, please consider NEVER leaving your precious child with him. He cannot care for himself let alone an infant.
I agree you should remove extraneous alcohol from the house if possible. If he wants to drink, he'll have to figure out how to acquire it......
You might consider Al-anon yourself. The program may give you skills to establish boundaries and how to live YOUR life without being dragged into his bondage.
Glad you're here, maybe check out Family and Friends section of forum as well
Kind Regards,
FlyN
First, please consider NEVER leaving your precious child with him. He cannot care for himself let alone an infant.
I agree you should remove extraneous alcohol from the house if possible. If he wants to drink, he'll have to figure out how to acquire it......
You might consider Al-anon yourself. The program may give you skills to establish boundaries and how to live YOUR life without being dragged into his bondage.
Glad you're here, maybe check out Family and Friends section of forum as well
Kind Regards,
FlyN
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,503
I hope that you decide to never leave your baby with your father. Since you know he is an alcoholic, that should never happen.
Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself?
Also, we have a forum for Friends & Families on this board which you might like to check out.
Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself?
Also, we have a forum for Friends & Families on this board which you might like to check out.
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