Starting EMDR and goodness
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Olney, MD
Posts: 268
Starting EMDR and goodness
So, my T thinks we are ready to begin. I am feeling stronger, although with this new job, for now, I am working various shifts and it's kinda screwing with my sleeping but it's only for 2 more weeks until I go on permanent nights, which will be better.
So last week we did what's called a schema.......going through the traumatic events, identifying body sensations associated with them, feelings associated with them, negative beliefs about self and what I want to replace the negative belief with. I identified that the common theme of all the traumatic events is feeling trapped and unworthy. She said I did good, most people have a hard time identifying these things but WHOA. Reliving all that stuff sent me into near panic walking back to my car. But I got myself through it. I was talking to myself probably looked like a total wacko. I just kept repeating, "it's ok, you're ok, no one is hurting you". And just looking around the parking garage......."ok, there's a red exit sign, we're following the arrows now, ok we're turning left" and I put on Sarah McLachlan which I meditated to in College and now have an intense sense of calm connected to it. So I worked myself through a panic attack and I was ok! Feeling pretty good about things.
So last week we did what's called a schema.......going through the traumatic events, identifying body sensations associated with them, feelings associated with them, negative beliefs about self and what I want to replace the negative belief with. I identified that the common theme of all the traumatic events is feeling trapped and unworthy. She said I did good, most people have a hard time identifying these things but WHOA. Reliving all that stuff sent me into near panic walking back to my car. But I got myself through it. I was talking to myself probably looked like a total wacko. I just kept repeating, "it's ok, you're ok, no one is hurting you". And just looking around the parking garage......."ok, there's a red exit sign, we're following the arrows now, ok we're turning left" and I put on Sarah McLachlan which I meditated to in College and now have an intense sense of calm connected to it. So I worked myself through a panic attack and I was ok! Feeling pretty good about things.
happy, joyous an free!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
wow. i am so interested in how this goes for you. my therapist has suggested this for me but i feel i am too fragile at the moment and he deferred to me on it. but it may be something for the future..... i do believe it would be really helpful to rid myself of hidden affects of trauma from early times, as well as present issues, which negatively impact my life daily.
you're brave! and i applaud you and send good good thoughts your way. thanks for sharing, you've got me in your cheering section!!!
you're brave! and i applaud you and send good good thoughts your way. thanks for sharing, you've got me in your cheering section!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Olney, MD
Posts: 268
Yeah I have been with this therapist since September and various other therapists for a decade. This therapist did NOT start us right off with EMDR. A good EMDR therapist will make sure you have the tools to deal with the anxiety and make sure you have a place you feel safe and grounded. Because this therapy brings back ALL the traumatic memories. It can be anxiety provoking as I found. Since I did so good with this schema thing, she says we are probably "going to go right into the belly of the beast". We'll see. Im excited but scared at the same time.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
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TerpGal, good luck. I hope you find help w/that technique. Apparently many do.
Just wanted to say that I've gone thru periods of panic attacks also, and I've done pretty much what you describe--reminding myself that really, objectively, there is nothing actually wrong, I'm OK, this feeling is only a feeling and will pass, and focusing on the next step of whatever process I'm engaged in, as you described focusing on each step of leaving the parking garage.
When I was 19, I was dragged out of bed and attacked by my ABF. I somehow got loose, ran out the door in my pajamas, barefoot, w/him hot on my heels. For months afterwards, I'd wake up 1 hour after going to sleep (the amount of time I'd been asleep when he came home that night) in terror. This was pre-1980, and I doubt anyone had any clue about PTSD, EMDR, or the like, and as a kid just out of high school, I certainly didn't search out help, either.
The panic attacks lessened in time, but any time I was badly stressed, I could count on their return. I sought help about 18 years ago (17 years after the attack, give or take) as well as reading and researching on my own. In recent years, I finally seem to be mostly free of them and able to cope more successfully if they do happen. It only took 35 years!!
I'm glad you've sought help for yourself, and I hope you start to feel relief soon. Big hugs, TerpGal. You'll be OK in the end.
Just wanted to say that I've gone thru periods of panic attacks also, and I've done pretty much what you describe--reminding myself that really, objectively, there is nothing actually wrong, I'm OK, this feeling is only a feeling and will pass, and focusing on the next step of whatever process I'm engaged in, as you described focusing on each step of leaving the parking garage.
When I was 19, I was dragged out of bed and attacked by my ABF. I somehow got loose, ran out the door in my pajamas, barefoot, w/him hot on my heels. For months afterwards, I'd wake up 1 hour after going to sleep (the amount of time I'd been asleep when he came home that night) in terror. This was pre-1980, and I doubt anyone had any clue about PTSD, EMDR, or the like, and as a kid just out of high school, I certainly didn't search out help, either.
The panic attacks lessened in time, but any time I was badly stressed, I could count on their return. I sought help about 18 years ago (17 years after the attack, give or take) as well as reading and researching on my own. In recent years, I finally seem to be mostly free of them and able to cope more successfully if they do happen. It only took 35 years!!
I'm glad you've sought help for yourself, and I hope you start to feel relief soon. Big hugs, TerpGal. You'll be OK in the end.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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drpattijane and terpgal.....I think that drpattijane's post is very informative...since I know next to nothing about EMDR..except that I have heard that it can be very healing for anxiety and trauma....
terpgal...I am very impressed with your persistence in finding your own healing.
I am going to order Dr. Shapiro's book today....it sounds fascinating!
dandylion
terpgal...I am very impressed with your persistence in finding your own healing.
I am going to order Dr. Shapiro's book today....it sounds fascinating!
dandylion
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
One of my friends had EMDR therapy with really great and lasting success. She's sort of a therapy junkie and tried lots and lots of different approaches throughout her life; apparently nothing really helped in regards to a particular traumatic experience in her past and this did. I'm quite fascinated by this method and would definitely try it had I have relevant things to process. Good luck, TerpGal! 
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