So ashamed...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
So ashamed...
Hi guys,
I was doing really well & screwed up & drank today. I have been to 2 funerals this week (sudden tragic deaths) & being fragile already I was hanging in there but got in an argument with my husband & said F it! Bad idea.
To be honest...I haven't been practicing what I preach at all! Nothing changes if nothing changes!
Anyway...I took a leave of absence from my job until Jan 7 to focus on my sobriety. I have 2 AA meetings per day in my calendar plus exercise for the next month. My job is pretty intense & involves travel so I'm hoping that taking some time off to focus on my sobriety will help.
Bottom line: I need to put my recovery first or I will lose everything! I just wanted to let you guys know I slipped. I pray to God this is the last time!
Love you guys!
I was doing really well & screwed up & drank today. I have been to 2 funerals this week (sudden tragic deaths) & being fragile already I was hanging in there but got in an argument with my husband & said F it! Bad idea.
To be honest...I haven't been practicing what I preach at all! Nothing changes if nothing changes!
Anyway...I took a leave of absence from my job until Jan 7 to focus on my sobriety. I have 2 AA meetings per day in my calendar plus exercise for the next month. My job is pretty intense & involves travel so I'm hoping that taking some time off to focus on my sobriety will help.
Bottom line: I need to put my recovery first or I will lose everything! I just wanted to let you guys know I slipped. I pray to God this is the last time!
Love you guys!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
I'm sorry for the loss of your friends Serenidad.
Going to more meetings is great - but why not build up a support network as well - have people to call?
The next time, for whatever reason, you say eff it, your first response can be a phone call, not a trip to the liquor store?
D
Going to more meetings is great - but why not build up a support network as well - have people to call?
The next time, for whatever reason, you say eff it, your first response can be a phone call, not a trip to the liquor store?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi Serenidad, I'm very sorry about all these recent stresses in your life. I also just learned about a family member's serious illness and passing this week, all this told me within two days. It certainly sucks.
Good that you are taking some time off to focus on yourself. I don't remember from your earlier posts, but have you ever done any other intensive treatment than AA and posting on SR? Now maybe you would have some time to try... of course it's not the best time over the holidays, but perhaps could be a good gift for yourself if you can afford it? Might help you keep your focused for a while and you might also be out of random influences a little more?
((Hugs))
Good that you are taking some time off to focus on yourself. I don't remember from your earlier posts, but have you ever done any other intensive treatment than AA and posting on SR? Now maybe you would have some time to try... of course it's not the best time over the holidays, but perhaps could be a good gift for yourself if you can afford it? Might help you keep your focused for a while and you might also be out of random influences a little more?
((Hugs))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Oh honey I'm sorry. What did you tell your work?
Since you have time off, maybe kick it up and try an outpatient program. Read the thread you started ... Reasons you know your alcoholic. I know you can do this!
Big hug your way!
Since you have time off, maybe kick it up and try an outpatient program. Read the thread you started ... Reasons you know your alcoholic. I know you can do this!
Big hug your way!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Serenidad im with D here if you feel a f it moment reach out first get that 2nd opinion
I also think you need to ramp it up a bit have you considered some extra help for instance i was not only going mtns i was doing group therapy with alcoholics & drug addicts ?
i also sought out a alcoholic support team in my area from my local hospital ?
im really glad your here keep trying Serenidad you know you can do this
Condolences for your departed
I also think you need to ramp it up a bit have you considered some extra help for instance i was not only going mtns i was doing group therapy with alcoholics & drug addicts ?
i also sought out a alcoholic support team in my area from my local hospital ?
im really glad your here keep trying Serenidad you know you can do this
Condolences for your departed
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
You had a lot on your plate, so don't beat yourself up.
Unfortunately, life has a way of throwing curve balls at us. Learning how to deal with extreme stress is not easy.
Rooting for you, be kind to yourself, rock that plan!
Unfortunately, life has a way of throwing curve balls at us. Learning how to deal with extreme stress is not easy.
Rooting for you, be kind to yourself, rock that plan!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: east coast
Posts: 451
serenidad just don't give up trying. The good thing is you posted soon after of course it would of been better b4, but that doesn't always work either. I've done it in the past tell on my AV and picked up anyway. But coming back here and having sr encouraging me to dust my self off and get back on the horse helped me to keep hope and keep trying. Please don't guilt yourself to death over it...that ia a mega trigger. Keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by Serenidad 
Anyway...I took a leave of absence from my job until Jan 7 to focus on my sobriety. I have 2 AA meetings per day in my calendar plus exercise for the next month. My job is pretty intense & involves travel so I'm hoping that taking some time off to focus on my sobriety will help.
Love you guys!
I knew that my job was always, always a trigger and forever would be. So guess what? I put in my resignation last month. I will never be that secure financially again, but I don't care, because I would rather be alive and happy than to live this way any more.
Anyway, congratulations on setting your path forward.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Dee's = The next time, for whatever reason, you say eff it, your first response can be a phone call, not a trip to the liquor store?
I had an attitude I would never do this. Really, I am going to call someone?? Recently an SR member -- think PurpleKnight - posted about Getting a second opinion. We get second opinions from doctors, mechanics etc. Next time we have a feeling we may drink, why not Get a Second Opinion Beforehand>!?!
When phrased this way, It really struck home for me. I CAN do that! How simple.....not calling to say, guess I want you to talk me out of drinking - I am asking for another opinion. IDK, just make so much sense to me this way......
Keep coming back!!
FlyN
I had an attitude I would never do this. Really, I am going to call someone?? Recently an SR member -- think PurpleKnight - posted about Getting a second opinion. We get second opinions from doctors, mechanics etc. Next time we have a feeling we may drink, why not Get a Second Opinion Beforehand>!?!
When phrased this way, It really struck home for me. I CAN do that! How simple.....not calling to say, guess I want you to talk me out of drinking - I am asking for another opinion. IDK, just make so much sense to me this way......
Keep coming back!!
FlyN
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