12stepwife

Sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I have much to be grateful for but sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. Had a lovely morning at church. Stopped and got a Christmas tree that sits in my trunk because I have no one to help me get it in. I'm going to my work Christmas party tonight, alone again because AH is still in rehab. The last 3 years he couldn't go because he was drunk. This is my favorite time of year and I'm miserable and lonely. He Wii be home after 80 days in 12/21. At least he will be sober this year. I'm scared for him to come home. He's great right now but how long will it last? I know I'm codependant so I'm going to work hard not to work his program. I spend my life trying to make everything perfect for everyone and I don't even have anyone to help me get this Christmas tree out of the trunk!!! (Had surgery a few days ago and not supposed to lift) oh and had to go through the surgery alone too!! Poor me....I'm done whining now, just needed to get it off my chest.

AnvilheadII

what if you order a pizza and then offer the driver $20 to help???

LexieCat

Anvil's got a GREAT idea there. I've done that--asked workmen who show up for one thing to give me a quick hand with something else, and I give them a nice fat tip to show my appreciation. Otherwise, do you have a neighbor whose door you could knock on? I've done that, too, even with neighbors I barely know. It's good practice to ask for help when you need it.

And don't feel bad about the "poor me" post--I did the same thing earlier this week when I got my wisdom tooth pulled. I didn't have anyone else to say "there, there, it will be OK," but the folks here are terrific.

So here's a "there, there" hug for you. It will be OK. You'll get through all this, and we are all here for you.

cherra

Having my own pity party tonight. Wish I could come help you with your tree. Vent on......

LexieCat

Aw, I wish we could put a stamp on cherra and send her out there to help you.

Actually, though, cherra's onto something, there. Volunteering can be a great way to get out of a funk.

SeriousKarma

We should get together and have a Pity Parade!

I obtained a referral for what was to be my first colonoscopy a few weeks ago. I was being proactive with my health and was therefore quite proud of myself. I later realized I don't know anyone in this town close enough to drive me to a colonoscopy. So I canceled.

No Anvil. I will NOT ask the pizza guy to drive me.

12step, I wish you luck with your tree, and hope you have a good time at the party. I'm with you there in spirit.

LexieCat

LOL, the women I used to work with would have "Ladies Night" every so often (get together at someone's house for dinner), and sometimes we'd order pizza. Somehow it became a "tradition" for one of us to ask the pizza delivery guy some embarrassing question (like how long you should date before sleeping with a guy) (yes, this was professional women, alcohol was generally involved). I don't think anyone ever asked to be driven to a colonoscopy, but it would have been a GREAT question!

maia1234

Hey ladies, ad me to the list of pity party. I had a hysterectomy last Tuesday and had to ask xah to pick up meds and take my dog. I have been recouping by myself all week. Quite lonely and sad. I am going back to work 6 days after surgery. Don't work, don't get paid. You are not alone, as someone is always worse then you. Try and have a good week.

NWGRITS

I've got hot tea and some cheese to snack on. I just hope my pj's are appropriate attire. I'm the queen of my household, as Mr. Grits is gone most of the time for work. I have a 9yo, 7yo, 2yo and a torn meniscus in my left knee. I'm effectively useless and the kids have been exploiting it to the fullest extent. Hubs leaves again in January for a month, and I can't have the surgery on my knee until February. Whine, whine, whine.

Maia, my hysterectomy date should be following my knee surgery some time in March. Just in time for Mr. Grits to leave again.

Karma- does your hospital system have a patient transportation option? There's always Uber, in a pinch. I've taken a taxi home from a scope before. I have Crohn's Disease and get one every year, and hubs isn't always here.

Did anyone bring party hats or goodie bags?

ubntubnt

Last three years your husband was drunk, this year he will be sober. Thats awesome! I hope the tree ends up beautifully lit with you two cuddling up under the glow. Happy Xmas 12 steps...

FeelingGreat

Hi 12step, sorry you're feeling abandoned, but it's all in a good cause I hope. I agree with asking the neighbours to help with the tree, or go online to one of those sites where people do small jobs for you.

Big dollops of sympathy, empathy, and all good things to everyone who's coping with ill health tonight.

NWGRITS

Oh yes! You can go on craigslist and find people who specialize in odd jobs like helping put up your tree. Did you know there's a whole website devoted to people who will come assemble your IKEA furniture??? Couldn't hurt to search craigslist or your local classifieds. People always need a few extra bucks around the holidays. I hope y'all have a wonderful, sober Christmas. God bless.

LexieCat

I don't know that inviting a stranger from Craigslist into your home is a great idea. There ARE bad guys who specifically use that site for that purpose. I've also asked if kids of friends want to make a few Christmas bucks.

hopeful4

Do you have any neighbors? Any neighbor kids? I have had my neighbors and neighbor kids help me do all sorts of stuff since I've been divorced. Don't be scared to ask people you normally would not ask, people are usually glad to help.

My church has a program for people who need help. Once a month a group of adults and the teens go around helping people do stuff at their homes.

I know a lot of the landscaping people this time of year can be short on work. Call one and offer a little money to come and help you out.

Hugs, many hugs.

ardy

Hi all well its 10:28am Monday morning my turn.. we have a great party to go to for tonight.. at a huge resturant and lots of fun.. Ed has had a problem now with his neck. we cancelled the neighborhood party on Sat sat home on friday night and I made burgers and pasta Sunday I went and had coffee with neighbor and saw their tree.. got home and he had fallen in the stair well... angry at me for not being there for him... when he is feeling good its all the parties and drugs he did in the past.. we don't go far and he will not spend time with is family.. unless they are footing the bill. for food and travel.. miss my hubby of 6 years ago before the morphine... now he pops the pills that are to stop all pain and he is in pain all the time.. new parts go bad on a reg basis.. I have to have that stress test tomorrow and he has been screaming its all in my head.. really really kids I do look forward to the day when my Heart says Hey Dummy to my brain and my brain says lets go home to the farm and Grandma for cookies. and they both agree... my pity party tried of the whole bit called I have to have and you just have to deal with it.. prayers to all. ardy

Thumper

I have much to be thankful for and I am. I count my blessings every day. We all have pity parties once in awhile. I'm having one now too - must be something about this time of year. I'm mostly upset and overwhelmed about the things I can not change and when I get overwhelmed I struggle to not drown in fear, depression and self pity.

Hang in there everyone.