Peter_819

I'm on my 8th day of sobriety and things are going well. I have an annual Christmas dinner that I've attended for the past 10 years coming up next weekend. It's never been a norse booze up or anything, but there is always alcohol present. It's at my best friends appartment who lives about two hours away. We've been very close since high school and I am set to be the best man at his wedding in June. I would really like to attend and am trying to work up a plan so that I can. I have always bussed there and then stayed the night but this year I intend rent a car and drive there and back that same night. This would help give me an escape route and a strong excuse not to drink. I also intend to bring a non alcoholic beverage option so I can sip while others do as well. I was thinking something sparkly, a flavoured tonic water or something. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as far as that went. Also what are the forums thoughts on non alcoholic wine and beer? Any other tips to make sure this goes soberly. Or do you think this trip is ill advised completely? Thanks in advance for any thoughts/tips.

Soberwolf

Hi Peter well done on day 8 thats fantastic

i always believe in building up some sober muscles first but if your going to go sounds like you have thought about it well you have an exit plan which is vital

i dont drink NA beer or wine its against everything i am now but i have friends here that do and stay sober everybody is diffrent plus i always drank to get drunk i didnt drink for a taste

im not judging im just sharing how i am and everybody is diffrent so its up to you and how you feel...because its day 8 i advise against it in favor of sparkling fruit juice or something like that

again its all up to you, do you have the SR app on your phone ? that way you have direct access to us for support while your there etc

Keep up your fantastic work Peter

Peter_819

I don't have the SR App, but I will download it. Right now I'm just using the desktop site on my phone. I've only ever had the NA beer which I didn't find all that inspiring, I'm definitely leaning towards some kind of juice or something. I may still opt out depending on how strong I feel in the upcoming days. I might also just tell my friend that I want to never drink again which would make it easier since I wouldn't have to turn down the Nog since he wouldn't even offer. I'd also have someone there then to whom I would be accountable

Soberwolf

Well said Peter and yes download the app

if your not feeling up to it then definatly dont go whatever happens you have a load of friends here who understand and care

i think your thinking about this very wisely friend well done

Lusher

Hey Peter_819- Congrats on the eight days! Nice job.
Personally, I'm not an big advocate of staying away of some of this stuff, but everybody has their own preferences. I mean if you have the self control, and you know that you can still have a good time without drinking, then why not go? However, if you're not sure if you might slip and drink, then perhaps you might want to steer clear until you get a bit more time under your belt.

I am, however, an advocate of staying away from obvious drink-fests, such as certain 'guy' pre-marital parties (AKA bachelor parties), and that type of a thing, where it's sort of assumed that everybody will be drinking- a lot.

For me though, I have found most of the parties that I use to go to are really not too much fun when I'm sober, so I tend to avoid them. Not so much because of any temptations, but because they're just not really fun when sober.

Again, everybody is different, but I'm not for it. For me it's just nothing but a tease, and like Soberwolf indicated, it sort of goes against what I'm all about now. But if it helps you keep with your goals, and it improves the night, then why not?

Just don't fall for the temptation of how you'll just have 'a drink or two.' You're on day-8, and you're on the way to a much better you. It would be a shame to slip and start all over, not to mention the disappointment you'd most likely feel.

Good luck and I wish you well.


Lusher

trachemys

Good idea renting a car.

Can you find any soft peppermint sticks? A glass of 7-up with a peppermint swizzle stick is festive and tasty. Use sugar-free 7-up if that sounds a bit sweet to you.

Peter_819

I've never heard of these soft peppermint sticks. Time to do some googling. .

matilda123

Yum, trachemys: that sounds good. Personally, I had to stay away from a few get togethers/friends for a bit of time until my sober muscles built up. One thing that I did for Thanksgiving that might work for you (especially since this friend is so close) is to tell her or him that you're not drinking. It sort of helps to shore up your will power having said that to someone else.

Peter_819

Thanks. I will wait and see. For example today I know for a certainty that I won't drink if I feel that way the day of the dinner then I'll be more likely to go. As I said its not a big drinkfest, but for the past ten years that I've gone I've always drank and to be honest that goes for most every social occasion of the past fifteen years. I'll make sure to update this thread to hold myself accountable.

Thanks again everybody!

Peter_819

Great idea he is a very good friend who happens to drink socially. Are relationship isn't built on booze or anything. He would be very understanding and supportive if I said I didn't want to drink. If I do go I'll make sure I mention to him and his fiancee that I wont be drinking.

Soberwolf

Way to go peter glad your here discussing this bud

i want these festive swizzle sticks aswell trachs

saudades

I agree to let your friend know you won't be drinking, if he's a good friend like you say he won't push it on you. As far as what to drink at the party, for the past few days I've been mixing sparkling water with a little 100% cranberry juice and some lime. Very tasty and no added sugars. Good luck.

Dee74

I stayed away from all such things for a while...it wasn;t that long when I look back, there were other parties and I think it was good for me to put distance between my new life and my old one.

That being said,. I understand others see things differently and it sounds like you have the makings of a good plan.

The only thing I'd suggest is you at least let your friend know ahead of time you won't be drinking. Have some accountability.

I wouldn't go the NA beer/wine route either - dinner party, old behaviours, too much chance of a eff it I can have one/I'll start again tomorrow moment.

D

Peter_819

Just an update. I ended up going to the Christmas dinner.I had a bit of anxiety leading up to the day. Wondering if I would be able to enjoy myself without drinking and whether I would stick out like a sore thumb for not drinking. My fears were baseless. I may have been the only person there who didn't have at least one drink, but people could care less whether I drank at all. I had made up tons of excuses in my head of what to tell people but I didn't have to use any at all. One simple no thank you was all I needed. I did keep a drink in my hands at all times (cranberry, soda water and lime) and I found it was enough to keep any cravings at bay. I had a really good time and have gained some confidence in my ability to stay away from alcohol even when most people are partaking. I have no interest and would have a hard time trusting myself to hang out at Oktoberfest or spending a night in a bar, but it's nice to know that I can have a good time and control myself at an event that I love, even if there is alcohol in the same building.

Dee74

I'm glad things went ok - just one bit of advice
I wouldn't take that for granted just yet - I can't count the number of times I was ok in a given situation... only to drink again the next time I was in that situation, cos I let my guard down.

D

Peter_819

For sure D, not going to let my guard down. But it is nice to know that it is possible.

matilda123

Good job, Peter! I was shocked to realize that no one really noticed or cared what I drank (unless, of course, I drank too much).

Dee's observation is a really good one. This party was a good one to attend because you discussed your not drinking with your friend and made a plan. But try not to put yourself too much in temptation's path (I say this as a reminder to myself, who is very new into this). And if your AV starts mumbling, post on here: i find it is the best way to get a quick counterargument!

SoberLeigh

Way to go, Peter; glad it went well!!!!!