Bat Signal Is Up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
Bat Signal Is Up
AV has been at a low murmur for about a week. I've been keeping it at bay but I feel my defenses starting to weaken a bit. Time to throw a light on this mo-fo & let it know I'm strong & confident in my resolve to no longer drink.
I've got the perfect storm brewing - I'm alone today & tonight, the weather is spectacular, I've got a good amount of distance between the last horrific hangover and the memory of why I stopped is getting further & further in the rear view mirror.
I'm getting ready to run errands which will take me by a few of my once favorite bottle shops. I'm committing to myself & all of you that I will not stop & I will not drink today (or tonight).
I will not drink.
I like my sober life & self too much to give in.
Did you hear that you dummy, AV?!
I've got the perfect storm brewing - I'm alone today & tonight, the weather is spectacular, I've got a good amount of distance between the last horrific hangover and the memory of why I stopped is getting further & further in the rear view mirror.
I'm getting ready to run errands which will take me by a few of my once favorite bottle shops. I'm committing to myself & all of you that I will not stop & I will not drink today (or tonight).
I will not drink.
I like my sober life & self too much to give in.
Did you hear that you dummy, AV?!
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey HeartsAfire-
I took a moment to look at your sobriety date, and it would be a shame to if you lost all of that hard work. I, too, have stronger temptations with certain times of the year (weather) so I know it can be hard.
I think it's great that you already have the mindset to stay focused to not drink and you have even made that committed to this forum.
Keep the above quote in mind- always!
Stay strong-
Lusher
I took a moment to look at your sobriety date, and it would be a shame to if you lost all of that hard work. I, too, have stronger temptations with certain times of the year (weather) so I know it can be hard.
I think it's great that you already have the mindset to stay focused to not drink and you have even made that committed to this forum.
I will not drink.
I like my sober life & self too much to give in.
I like my sober life & self too much to give in.
Stay strong-
Lusher
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
I found the AV can kick up quite a ruckus. But mine had the uncanny ability to avoid the horrific hangover and other associated damage shame guilt defeatism that I would be left with. It was only alive during the drinking and drunkness , but that is a limited and fleeting time. Drag its empty promise and lies out in the full light of day, ride the urges out , can't stop the experience of them , but do squash them by knowing what the consequences of acting on them mean , what they would in reality do to you. aV can be loud as all get out, but YOU are in control of the resolve! You definitely got this !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
At different times I have thoughts of drinking.
The key for me is to not let those thoughts go any further than, "Gee a dr....."
Break the thought before it forms. I think of all of the people here and their stories and how it is always a very sad thing to read a "slip" post.
Please keep going.
I live alone - I had to get past a lot of alone time all the time. If you drank - you would know.
The key for me is to not let those thoughts go any further than, "Gee a dr....."
Break the thought before it forms. I think of all of the people here and their stories and how it is always a very sad thing to read a "slip" post.
Please keep going.
I live alone - I had to get past a lot of alone time all the time. If you drank - you would know.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
HeartsAfire, it sounds like your AV is taking advantage of the fact that you are alone and will be near places where you used to buy alcohol. But, you know this and you are not going to give in. Keep focused on how well you are doing.
learning to live
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,665
Tell that mo-fo Hearts! Slap him upside the head while you are at it. Finger snap and a neck roll too! ....and slap your a## as you walk away while looking back!
Yeah, I may have taken that to a whole new level.....but whatev!
P.S. Call me if ya need back up!
You CAN do this!! You love your sober life wayyyyy toooo much!!!! I got nothing but faith in you Hearts!!!!!
Yeah, I may have taken that to a whole new level.....but whatev!
P.S. Call me if ya need back up!
You CAN do this!! You love your sober life wayyyyy toooo much!!!! I got nothing but faith in you Hearts!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi Hearts - great that you recognized the temptation and are posting about it 
What helps me with these kinds of sneaky desires is reminding myself that it's just a grain of sand in the big picture, which is my recovery and all the self work, personal growth, and positive changes I can only experience in sobriety. You seem to have the same thinking. A seemingly pleasant day or weekend, even if we disregard the most likely pain and suffering after a relapse... what is a day or two relative to all the progress you have been doing? These fleeting, momentary desires in the context of the good life we can build and live in sobriety? We are often advised to live in the moment, to focus on the moment, the now... this is good, but in my opinion, it's not always the best strategy in everything. When I think about my life and myself, I always see it as a dynamic process, and like to think through in my mind how whatever choice I make in the present could influence my future. I really like the theory of karma in this context, that life is an interconnected chain of events, of actions and consequences.
You have been doing great
What helps me with these kinds of sneaky desires is reminding myself that it's just a grain of sand in the big picture, which is my recovery and all the self work, personal growth, and positive changes I can only experience in sobriety. You seem to have the same thinking. A seemingly pleasant day or weekend, even if we disregard the most likely pain and suffering after a relapse... what is a day or two relative to all the progress you have been doing? These fleeting, momentary desires in the context of the good life we can build and live in sobriety? We are often advised to live in the moment, to focus on the moment, the now... this is good, but in my opinion, it's not always the best strategy in everything. When I think about my life and myself, I always see it as a dynamic process, and like to think through in my mind how whatever choice I make in the present could influence my future. I really like the theory of karma in this context, that life is an interconnected chain of events, of actions and consequences.
You have been doing great
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Recent post from a lovely lady in Texas:
Who says sobriety has to be boring
"Yesterday after hubby & I dropped off the kids at their father's house we realized we had NOTHING to do. The house was clean, the laundry in process, bills paid and the fridge stocked with leftovers which meant we were footloose & fancy free. I casually mentioned that a certain sandwich at a quaint little general store in the Hill Country sounded scrumptious. He looked at me and smiled and the next thing we know, we're headed on a spontaneous road trip for lunch - 2 1/2 hours away! Believe me when I tell you it was the MOST delicious sandwich I have had in ages!
"It wasn't just the sandwich though. It was the conversations, the laughs, the singing old 70's & 80's rock songs at the top of our lungs, the air guitar contests, the overall feeling that I don't have a care in the world that made it a perfect day. We stopped wherever we wanted to stop (a chocolatier, funky shop, a dried-up river bed, a scenic overlook) and spent as much (or as little) time as we wanted. There was no worry about if the sandwich shop served beer and how many I could pound before we had to go, wondering what kind of wine would go best with the chocolate we bought, the panic of needing to get home so that I could start my drinking, clock-watching the day away. We took pictures at each stop and much to my surprise I have a genuine smile in each one. So does my husband.
"On the way home I told him that this is the way I want to live our lives. I want to be spontaneous when we can and belly laugh at life. He grabbed my hand and told me how much he loves the new me. He said he knew I was in there all along and is so glad I've come back out to play. I am so very, very blessed.
"I just wanted to let those struggling know that life does get better when you stop drinking - in ways you can never imagine if you remain stuck. I know I couldn't as long as I was stuck on the binge drinking/pretend recovery merry-go-round. Take a leap of faith and trust the rest of us that the water is fine & fun out here is Soberville."
Your AV doesn't want you to have more splendid days like that one.
Your friends here on SR want you to have tons of them. We've got your back, Hearts. Stay close.
V.
Who says sobriety has to be boring
"Yesterday after hubby & I dropped off the kids at their father's house we realized we had NOTHING to do. The house was clean, the laundry in process, bills paid and the fridge stocked with leftovers which meant we were footloose & fancy free. I casually mentioned that a certain sandwich at a quaint little general store in the Hill Country sounded scrumptious. He looked at me and smiled and the next thing we know, we're headed on a spontaneous road trip for lunch - 2 1/2 hours away! Believe me when I tell you it was the MOST delicious sandwich I have had in ages!
"It wasn't just the sandwich though. It was the conversations, the laughs, the singing old 70's & 80's rock songs at the top of our lungs, the air guitar contests, the overall feeling that I don't have a care in the world that made it a perfect day. We stopped wherever we wanted to stop (a chocolatier, funky shop, a dried-up river bed, a scenic overlook) and spent as much (or as little) time as we wanted. There was no worry about if the sandwich shop served beer and how many I could pound before we had to go, wondering what kind of wine would go best with the chocolate we bought, the panic of needing to get home so that I could start my drinking, clock-watching the day away. We took pictures at each stop and much to my surprise I have a genuine smile in each one. So does my husband.
"On the way home I told him that this is the way I want to live our lives. I want to be spontaneous when we can and belly laugh at life. He grabbed my hand and told me how much he loves the new me. He said he knew I was in there all along and is so glad I've come back out to play. I am so very, very blessed.
"I just wanted to let those struggling know that life does get better when you stop drinking - in ways you can never imagine if you remain stuck. I know I couldn't as long as I was stuck on the binge drinking/pretend recovery merry-go-round. Take a leap of faith and trust the rest of us that the water is fine & fun out here is Soberville."
Your AV doesn't want you to have more splendid days like that one.
Your friends here on SR want you to have tons of them. We've got your back, Hearts. Stay close.
V.
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