Had Nice Day With Husband Today
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Had Nice Day With Husband Today
Tonight I asked my hubby if he was ready to go to bed. He said he wasn't ready, and that we would just do the same thing tomorrow. I told him in return that I enjoyed shopping with him, making food together, watching tv, and just hanging out. He responded that he also enjoys being with me.
It was very cute and nice. I told him how nice life is when he is calm and peaceful and respectful to me, as contrasted to when he is drinking and becomes mean and nasty. He just listened.
I know all of this could come to a disastrous end since he is sober but not in treatment and that he is always stoned. But hey, I can die any day, and at least I am enjoying each day at this time, and I am going to savor and enjoy it.
It was very cute and nice. I told him how nice life is when he is calm and peaceful and respectful to me, as contrasted to when he is drinking and becomes mean and nasty. He just listened.
I know all of this could come to a disastrous end since he is sober but not in treatment and that he is always stoned. But hey, I can die any day, and at least I am enjoying each day at this time, and I am going to savor and enjoy it.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,851
JB, this is YOUR life and you have the right to live it however you choose. If you are content with your life at this point in time, then that is great. I know that many here are trying their best to caution you about what may happen, but the fact is, we do not live your life.
All of us must move at our own pace and do what we are comfortable with. You seem to realize that this mellow period probably won't last forever, but if you can accept that and are still willing to ride this out, then that is your decision and no one here should berate you for that.
I only wish the best for you.
All of us must move at our own pace and do what we are comfortable with. You seem to realize that this mellow period probably won't last forever, but if you can accept that and are still willing to ride this out, then that is your decision and no one here should berate you for that.
I only wish the best for you.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Most days there is some running dialogue in my head.
I am either trying to talk myself into something or out of something. I believe it's my gut instinct working overtime.
The one thing i have learned about my gut instinct, it is seldom wrong.
In your own words " he is always stoned"
As you savor and enjoy each day with him, think it's pretty safe to say, we are concerned for your future, as long as he remains stoned and not dealing with his reality, I have to be honest and direct with you, and say, I don't know how this is going to all come together and be ok, while you are of clear mind enjoying your time together, he is not of clear mind. He is stoned. And as always, it's their needs before yours. More selfish, selfish, selfish.
Currently, you are the only one really trying to make this work, I do not see him investing in you or himself, as he remains stoned.
Sending you tons of support, protect yourself First.
I am either trying to talk myself into something or out of something. I believe it's my gut instinct working overtime.
The one thing i have learned about my gut instinct, it is seldom wrong.
In your own words " he is always stoned"
As you savor and enjoy each day with him, think it's pretty safe to say, we are concerned for your future, as long as he remains stoned and not dealing with his reality, I have to be honest and direct with you, and say, I don't know how this is going to all come together and be ok, while you are of clear mind enjoying your time together, he is not of clear mind. He is stoned. And as always, it's their needs before yours. More selfish, selfish, selfish.
Currently, you are the only one really trying to make this work, I do not see him investing in you or himself, as he remains stoned.
Sending you tons of support, protect yourself First.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Justbreathe,
I believe anyone can change "if they want to". I stayed with my ex a long time because of all the promises he made me.
I think I needed to know my own bottom. I needed to know that to make things right for myself.
His week or two or no drinking can continue, or it may not.
Guess I want to say that I really do wish you the best, and I am always here for you.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy
I believe anyone can change "if they want to". I stayed with my ex a long time because of all the promises he made me.
I think I needed to know my own bottom. I needed to know that to make things right for myself.
His week or two or no drinking can continue, or it may not.
Guess I want to say that I really do wish you the best, and I am always here for you.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))
amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I thought of something else I wanted to tell you. I drank with my ex also, if I didn't I would hear it, if I did, I would still hear it, so most of the time I just drank with him, it was easier to numb myself then.
I did quit several times for many months. I think I just wanted to know if I stopped if things would improve, because there were so many times he would blame me for drinking and starting a fight, when I didn't.
I wanted to be totally sober to really judge the situation. I think in a way you are doing this also.
Just, again, here with you. OK
I did quit several times for many months. I think I just wanted to know if I stopped if things would improve, because there were so many times he would blame me for drinking and starting a fight, when I didn't.
I wanted to be totally sober to really judge the situation. I think in a way you are doing this also.
Just, again, here with you. OK
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello justbreathe,
I'm happy to hear that you have been enjoying your time with your husband. If your life with him as it is now, as he is now, is working for you, then that is the most important thing. No one else can live your life or make your decisions.
The only person who needs to acknowledge that what he is doing is contributing to an improvement in your relationship with him is you.
If the situation with your husband works for you, then you need not try to convince the rest of us. As another mod here says "what other people think of me is none of my business". The world does not have to agree with you for you to be comfortable and happy with your choice.
I do hope for his own sake that your husband will soon reach his own turning point, as you have, and want to live a sober life. Many prayers for you both.
I'm happy to hear that you have been enjoying your time with your husband. If your life with him as it is now, as he is now, is working for you, then that is the most important thing. No one else can live your life or make your decisions.
The only person who needs to acknowledge that what he is doing is contributing to an improvement in your relationship with him is you.
If the situation with your husband works for you, then you need not try to convince the rest of us. As another mod here says "what other people think of me is none of my business". The world does not have to agree with you for you to be comfortable and happy with your choice.
I do hope for his own sake that your husband will soon reach his own turning point, as you have, and want to live a sober life. Many prayers for you both.
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