mistory5

Today is day 18 with out alcohol. Everything has been going pretty good it hasn't been as hard as usual to stay clean. I've been praying, coming here, going to group counseling, eating right excercising, taking my vitamins and coming up with things to do that don't involve drinking. I've been chipper all day because I was going to the high school play a Christmas Carol with my son and mom tonight. Mind you I'm happy because I'm not drinking , not thinking about drinking and that I'm spending some quality holiday time with my son. Half way through the show I find myself starting to have anxious feelings about Xmas day and expectations of it not being a fun time ( spent t day with some boring non drinking family members) started wishing I could drink on xmas without consequences and being able to stop drinking the day after xmas. Then I started worrying about getting shopping done getting the tree up, who I really wanted to spend xmas with. So I get on SR to try to ease my thoughts, just read posts. Now mind you I'm not paying any attention to the play anymore. I'm miserable. When I left out of there I had a chip on my shoulder. Got lil irritated with my mom in front of my son. Came home and found myself irritated so started thinking of how do I work the plan I've put together for myself ? All I could do tonight is put out there how I'm feeling in SR land. I'm really feeling some kind of way that I can't have afew drinks to take the edge off or to celebrate xmas. Oh! I forgot to mention that someone invited me to their house warming party today that will be taking place in janurary. When they invited me they sort of mentioned that others that will be invited who know I am trying to stay sober are concerned how their drinking will be with me around. I have never been in a
Social gathering at someones home with this group of people. I like these people and would like to spend the time with them, but feel a lil offended that this came up among them. I told my friend if I am going to make others uncomfortable I wouldn't come. She insisted that if I was ok with the drinking and wouldn't be tempted she really wants me to be there. At this point I feel like miserable scrooge! How do I get back to the peace and acceptance I've had for the ladt 17.5 days b4 I relaspe?

GroundhogDay

So, you got yourself all worked up worrying about Christmas. Do what you can to reduce the stress of the holiday, and learn to let go of negative daydreaming. Visualization works well. Close your eyes and imagine those negative thoughts floating away down a river.

The point is to realize that you can control your mood. I just set the goal to be as loving, compassionate, and grateful as I can be, and the rest flows from there. Of course, sometimes that is easier said than done, but practice helps.

mistory5

Thx groundhog day. Your right I got myself worked up...keyword myself. I didn't look at it that way when I was going through it tonight or when I posted. I chose to go with the negative flow. I didn't even try staying in the moment or being mindful which I have used a lot these last 18 days. I have to figure out why I didn't implement cbt , mindfulness and letting go of negative thoughts. Guess I better keep practicing these techniques. Thx for your insight. Now I gotta figure out what type of thoughts that are going to be harder to work with, which ones are of the sneaky nature. I must admit I'm trying to picture how do I imagine thoughts floating down a river? How do you lear how to do visualization? I like the idea of me contoling my mood I have to learn this! Think its going to be a must have in my tool box to stay sober. Thx so much .

JanieJ

You helped Mistory and also helped me, such wisdom, thank you GD.

sprout50

Mistory, Sorry to hear you had a bad night. Sounds like a bit of romantizing Christtmas drinking. Think about what drinking on Christmas will really be like, not what you want it to be like.

As for the housewarming party, you have several options. Go and stay sober. Once folks see you socializing without drinking, the talk should stop or will stop eventually. As alcoholics, we kind have to earn back our reputations. If you don't feel you can do that, stay home. You don't want to compromise your sobriety.

JanieJ

Mistory,

I agree with the advice you've got and not being long sober ,I can't offer any more, but I'm sure there will be an xmas thread here that you can log into if you're feeling off centre.

x

Soberwolf

Try this Mistory

Early sobriety is like a rrollercoaster as long as you stay sober with us it will be ok

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...trategies.html

GroundhogDay

Most people use meditation. Yoga is helpful too. I'm not that disciplined about it. I just close my eyes, stand or sit still, take slow, deep breaths, and try to empty my mind of anything except the river image.

I am only recently finding it easy to let go of negative thoughts and behaviors. I was very sick a year ago, life-threatening. At first, I too, indulged in negative thinking. But now I am truly grateful for my life. I want to be as loving and compassionate with others as possible now. It is my goal above all others goals. Second is learning. I'm already pretty book smart, so am thinking of doing something creative like an art class.

With these simplified goals, my life is much happier and more fulfilling.